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Question: Ketchup, brown sauce or mayo?
( chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Fri 23 Jul 2010, 17:13, 68 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

brown sauce just ruins things
ketchup with chips or a fry up, mayo to be used to make stuff, like coronation chicken, or flavoured mayo, not on its own.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 23 Jul 2010, 17:16, Reply)

Nono
You have that all wrong. Brown sauce with bacon and sausages and stuff, mayonnaise with chips and tomato sauce with fuck all because it mings mercilessly.

Edit: Better still, HP Fruity Sauce. NOM.
( Kroney, Fri 23 Jul 2010, 17:20, Reply)

'Nono' from Ulysses 31?
www.youtube.com/watch?v=rjlGQilnYPU&feature=related
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Sat 24 Jul 2010, 1:00, Reply)

Depends what with
Ketchup & brown sauce with a bacon sandwich
just ketchup with a sausage sandwich/fryup
mayo with chips
ketchup & mayo with fish & chips

EDIT: Barbecue sauce with anything else (except for actual good food)

Ketchup with macaroni cheese
( Tedium Alduce me to interlow myself., Fri 23 Jul 2010, 17:17, Reply)

mayo
brown sauce very occasionally, perhaps with sausages. No ketchup ever
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Fri 23 Jul 2010, 17:18, Reply)

They all get outdone
By HP barbeque sauce. It's simply full of win.
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Fri 23 Jul 2010, 17:19, Reply)

the smoky one?

( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Fri 23 Jul 2010, 17:26, Reply)

Asda "barbeque ketchup" is the nicest one, well lush.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 23 Jul 2010, 17:40, Reply)

Ever try that Worcestershire BBQ sauce.
Thick and spicy.
Just how I like them if you know what I mean. *raises eyebrow*
(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Fri 23 Jul 2010, 17:43, Reply)

I ain't tried it, but I'm open minded to the idea.
We live in very accepting times.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 23 Jul 2010, 18:02, Reply)

It won't work with sushi though.

(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Fri 23 Jul 2010, 18:02, Reply)

Ketchup and mayonnaise are evil
so for me it's brown sauce, but only on fry ups, otherwise barbecue sauce is best
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Fri 23 Jul 2010, 17:24, Reply)

Evening all....
Anyone fancy tasting my Gentleman's Relish?
(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Fri 23 Jul 2010, 17:30, Reply)

YOU'RE NOT EVEN A REAL DOCTOR

( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Fri 23 Jul 2010, 17:34, Reply)

I resent that.
I am a specialist in the 'ailments of the actress'.
Anyway - you are neither sexy nor a monkey.
(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Fri 23 Jul 2010, 17:40, Reply)

I fuck like a cock-raging Tamarin
just ask whatsherface
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Fri 23 Jul 2010, 17:45, Reply)

Hahaha!
Now don't open that can of worms again, you naughty chimp.
(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Fri 23 Jul 2010, 17:49, Reply)

I wasn't opening any can of worms
I was referring to the night of passion I recently shared with your bed-ridden mother
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Fri 23 Jul 2010, 17:51, Reply)

Did you chomp on her anchovy paste?

(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Fri 23 Jul 2010, 17:52, Reply)

The splendidness of your Momus reference is acknowledged.

(Cave Duck, Sun 25 Jul 2010, 20:22, Reply)

?

( Kroney, Fri 23 Jul 2010, 17:38, Reply)

Is 'toast' slang for 'laydeez'?

(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Fri 23 Jul 2010, 17:41, Reply)

Also needs the word
"slathered"
( Kroney, Fri 23 Jul 2010, 17:41, Reply)

OK.
New slogan.

Gentlemen's Relish - 'Best Slathered on Hot Laydeez'
(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Fri 23 Jul 2010, 17:44, Reply)

Or.... or? OR?
Or is awnser someone gives when they don't want to offer everything. Or makes you choose favorites and creates enemys. Or is for those that don't deserve it all.

AND, and, AND is the awnser. And gives you the best of every world. And is for those who want it all. And is the choice for those who choose glutony as their favorite of sins.

_AND_ you're forgetting BBQ and Sweet Chilli and Mustard and Salad Cream... And. And. And. I both want and need a painter's palet of condiments, each one creating more and more combinations until every morsel is different from the last.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 23 Jul 2010, 17:45, Reply)

sometimes you can tell when somebody is really fat
just from the way they talk about food
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Fri 23 Jul 2010, 17:47, Reply)

It's bit like how you can tell that someone is destined to be alone forever by the way they list all the women they want to shag in a half-joking manor.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 23 Jul 2010, 17:56, Reply)

I was going to post a longwinded reply here, explaining why you're wrong
but instead I'll just tell you to go fuck yourself, you fat, disgusting, shit-your-pants cunt

if anybody here thinks I'm coming onto them, I'm not. I have no interest in Off Topic women, I thought the simultaneous insults and come-ons were pretty self-explanatory
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Fri 23 Jul 2010, 18:03, Reply)

Double Woh'.... =/
Did anyone else hear that collective sigh of relief?
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 23 Jul 2010, 18:05, Reply)

I'm the one who should be relieved
B3tan women are among the most unattractive that I have ever had the misfortune to meet
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Fri 23 Jul 2010, 18:07, Reply)

"women...I have ever had the misfortune to meet"
Mummy. Nana. Hookers.
(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Fri 23 Jul 2010, 18:10, Reply)

But...but...
Oh, it's okay, you've never met me.

*breathes sigh of relief*
*online*
*feels validated*
( chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Fri 23 Jul 2010, 18:14, Reply)

You know what I was saying about the 'old' lot from QOTW?
That's still true, I adore the lot of you and would ruin you all given half the chance. I would never deliberately insult, upset or offend either one of you, but these trendy kids with their hip-hop lingo and their poledancing right proper do my tits in
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Fri 23 Jul 2010, 18:16, Reply)

Awww!
You old softy!
( chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Fri 23 Jul 2010, 18:19, Reply)

This is like watching a game of tennis
Great volley Gonz!
(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Fri 23 Jul 2010, 18:39, Reply)

Fuck you, PJM
You arse-licking scrote
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Fri 23 Jul 2010, 18:43, Reply)

I expect better from you
Mr Wowbagger.

Gonz kept the retorts flying back longer than most.
(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Fri 23 Jul 2010, 19:18, Reply)

because he's a retard
You shouldn't expect anything from me at all
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Fri 23 Jul 2010, 19:23, Reply)

Woh'..... =/

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 23 Jul 2010, 18:04, Reply)

Go fuck yourself Gonz
You're a twat who most of the board members here have mistaken for a 'nice guy', because they pity you.

If either one of us is going to die alone it'll be you, because you're a mong.
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Fri 23 Jul 2010, 18:06, Reply)

Yeah', thing is, that ain't news to me, it's accepted, done and dusted, and if i'm wrong about that, all the better.
But to tell you the truth, I'd rather have a wank than have someone regret and be ashamed of being with me.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 23 Jul 2010, 18:10, Reply)

Well then I hope you have strong arm muscles
and a hell of a lot of loo roll, you grotesque, spasticated fuck
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Fri 23 Jul 2010, 18:12, Reply)

Go take a couple of diazipams or whatever it is they prescribe you these days and chill, it seems you're getting very upset and I wouldn't want for you to do anything I'll regret later.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 23 Jul 2010, 18:18, Reply)

Do me a favour Gonz
jump off a bridge or take a bunch of pills, the fact that a belm-faced retard such as yourself so much as even breathes the same air that I do deeply offends me
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Fri 23 Jul 2010, 18:20, Reply)

Quite a lot of things seems to offend you, but chin up big fella, they're not all out there to get you.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 23 Jul 2010, 18:23, Reply)

Nah, honestly there's very little that upsets or annoys me
least of all online. 50% of the time I think you're alright, I think you can be an amusing bloke, but the other 51*% of the time, I think that you epitomise everything that is wrong with B3ta, and indeed the entire world.

*I added another one percent, because I find you that annoying
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Fri 23 Jul 2010, 18:26, Reply)

I sometimes find numbers hard too =(

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 23 Jul 2010, 18:30, Reply)

I expect you find most things hard, Gonz
except the contents of your colostomy bag
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Fri 23 Jul 2010, 18:35, Reply)

What's your favorite nickelodeon show Bert?

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 23 Jul 2010, 18:46, Reply)

I don't watch Nickelodeon
but I'm sure if you named a few I could go 'Oh yeah, I really like that one!'
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Fri 23 Jul 2010, 18:53, Reply)

You, sir
are a condiment gobbler.
( Kroney, Fri 23 Jul 2010, 17:47, Reply)

diment ck
(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Fri 23 Jul 2010, 17:50, Reply)

All three
Are for wrong'uns and notrights.
(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Fri 23 Jul 2010, 17:49, Reply)

CORRECT ANSWER!
Apart from mayo and then only on salad, sometimes.
( chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Fri 23 Jul 2010, 17:53, Reply)

I agree on the ketchup front
I'm not a big foodie, but I cannot stand to see someone putting ketchup on a good steak
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Fri 23 Jul 2010, 17:56, Reply)

Dammit Chickenlady.
That's it. I hate loaded questions.
I'm off out to associate with people who are not timewasters.
Have a superb weekend everyone.
(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Fri 23 Jul 2010, 17:56, Reply)

I hope you get hit by a bus
and a fake doctor pronounces you dead at the scene
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Fri 23 Jul 2010, 17:57, Reply)

I heard that.
In that case I hope you get bummed by a monkey with an enormously barbed cock, and that your arse gets ripped to shreds. I also hope that when you are calling out for a doctor, I arrive in the nick of time to aim a stream of piss into your mouth just at the very moment you draw your final breath.
Peace out bitch.
(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Fri 23 Jul 2010, 18:01, Reply)

You're really hot for Bert, aren't you?

( chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Fri 23 Jul 2010, 18:04, Reply)

Hahaha!
I only have eyes for you, hen.
(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Fri 23 Jul 2010, 18:07, Reply)

Put 'em back in, you're scaring the children

( chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Fri 23 Jul 2010, 18:13, Reply)

Oops sorry.
Goodnight Chickenlady.
(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Fri 23 Jul 2010, 18:15, Reply)

Goodnight Tuggers!

( chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Fri 23 Jul 2010, 18:19, Reply)

ketchup should be illegal
Something cold and sweet simply does not belong on anything hot and savoury! Wrong.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 23 Jul 2010, 18:59, Reply)

You can all sod off 'cos ketchup is the business
Let me break it down for you:

Sausage is Ketchup
Bacon is Brown Sauce
Fried Egg is Brown, just, but scrambled and poached are ketchup
Beans is obviously ketchup
Black pudding is brown sauce
Mushrooms are sauce-neutral, as is toast.

Chips are not only ketchup, but override everything else. So if there's chips involved it's got to be ketchup. Otherwise, tot up what's on the plate - or between two extra-thick slices of crusty white - and go for the sauce with the most votes. Ties are dealers choice.

Mayonnaise is only for cold sandwiches.

Honestly, it's like some of you just aren't putting the thought in.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Fri 23 Jul 2010, 19:33, Reply)

Black pudding is DEFINITELY brown sauce.
And I don't mean this:
www.youtube.com/watch?v=pbK7ncKJanM
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Sat 24 Jul 2010, 0:53, Reply)

it's not even an issue
nobody would put tomato sauce on black pudding. That would just be CRAZY.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Sat 24 Jul 2010, 1:26, Reply)

I added a 'comment'.
Unfortunately I rather unhorsed my smartarse remarks by accidentally posting them twice.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Sat 24 Jul 2010, 1:03, Reply)