As was mentioned in Ouch, last night I got bitten by a snake.
What was the last thing that bit, mauled, stung or impaled you?
(Miraclefish How appropriate, you fight like a cow, Fri 30 Jul 2010, 15:06, 65 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

mmmm
impaled
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 30 Jul 2010, 15:09, Reply)

Haha!
I haven't been impaled for ages.
( girlinthehole, Fri 30 Jul 2010, 15:10, Reply)

On a pork sword?
or a meat stick?
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Fri 30 Jul 2010, 15:11, Reply)

Stop getting all excited.

( girlinthehole, Fri 30 Jul 2010, 15:13, Reply)

I'm always this excited
its nothing new! :)
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Fri 30 Jul 2010, 15:14, Reply)

Sorry! I meant stop getting me all excited. *laughs*

( girlinthehole, Fri 30 Jul 2010, 15:17, Reply)

Haha
Ahhh I see! :)
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Fri 30 Jul 2010, 15:19, Reply)

a beef bayonet

(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Fri 30 Jul 2010, 15:13, Reply)

Arf!

(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Fri 30 Jul 2010, 15:14, Reply)

lamb lance

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 30 Jul 2010, 15:14, Reply)

Ham Halberd

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 30 Jul 2010, 15:14, Reply)

steak scimitar

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 30 Jul 2010, 15:15, Reply)

Pork pike?
Sausage scimitar?
Bratwurst bastard sword?
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 30 Jul 2010, 15:16, Reply)

gammon great-sword

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 30 Jul 2010, 15:17, Reply)

mutton musket

(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Fri 30 Jul 2010, 15:18, Reply)

red meat rapier

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 30 Jul 2010, 15:18, Reply)

That's a new one!

(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Fri 30 Jul 2010, 15:19, Reply)

spam javelin

(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Fri 30 Jul 2010, 15:20, Reply)

pork chopper?

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 30 Jul 2010, 15:21, Reply)

Rump Ranseur

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 30 Jul 2010, 15:23, Reply)

Luncheon meat...
...truncheon.
(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Fri 30 Jul 2010, 15:31, Reply)

Lamb cannon

(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Fri 30 Jul 2010, 15:32, Reply)

Ham howitzer

(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Fri 30 Jul 2010, 15:32, Reply)

Tofu Truncheon
(For the vegans...)
(Miraclefish How appropriate, you fight like a cow, Fri 30 Jul 2010, 15:36, Reply)

burger bludgeon

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 30 Jul 2010, 15:39, Reply)

Turkey torpedo

(Miraclefish How appropriate, you fight like a cow, Fri 30 Jul 2010, 15:55, Reply)

Bacon battering ram

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 30 Jul 2010, 15:59, Reply)

Lampito

(PsychoChomp, Fri 30 Jul 2010, 15:14, Reply)

Which bit?
Mauled, stung or impaled, or all three?
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Fri 30 Jul 2010, 15:17, Reply)

She stopped returning his calls/texts/gazzes
That must have stung
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 30 Jul 2010, 15:17, Reply)

Yeah I bet he's really torn up about it
Oh Chompy?
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Fri 30 Jul 2010, 15:18, Reply)

Torn whose what up with what?
Fnarr
(Miraclefish How appropriate, you fight like a cow, Fri 30 Jul 2010, 15:20, Reply)

Lady Garden.

(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Fri 30 Jul 2010, 15:21, Reply)

with the candle stick?

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 30 Jul 2010, 15:22, Reply)

In the library?

( girlinthehole, Fri 30 Jul 2010, 15:24, Reply)

with Prof Plum?
the dirty mare!
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Fri 30 Jul 2010, 15:25, Reply)

New from Waddington Games - Cunto!
Tee hee
(Miraclefish How appropriate, you fight like a cow, Fri 30 Jul 2010, 15:26, Reply)

last week I got stung in the face by a wasp
I was most displeased
( Lisette von Falcon, Fri 30 Jul 2010, 15:32, Reply)

In the face?
Nasty things! :(
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Fri 30 Jul 2010, 15:36, Reply)

less than an inch from my eye
to be fair, I did kick a chair to see if they were near it, and they most definitely were
I ran off the porch and they totally followed me and got me hard
IN THE FACE
( Lisette von Falcon, Fri 30 Jul 2010, 15:40, Reply)

*fears*
I sprayed one to its death the other night with Pledge the furniture polish! It worked quite well actually!
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Fri 30 Jul 2010, 15:43, Reply)

I had a flyswatter :(

( Lisette von Falcon, Fri 30 Jul 2010, 15:52, Reply)

Aww that never works as well as spray!
In fact its probably more than likely going to just piss off the wasp even more! :S
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Fri 30 Jul 2010, 15:55, Reply)

yeah I know
but I was grilling. GRILLING.

Can't be spraying that shit near the food.
( Lisette von Falcon, Fri 30 Jul 2010, 16:00, Reply)

This is true!
Curses
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Fri 30 Jul 2010, 16:14, Reply)

still, it taught me a valuable lesson
don't go kicking chairs when you know there's wasps about

BUT the cunts got my dog. TWICE.
They're all dead now. *does a victory dance*
( Lisette von Falcon, Fri 30 Jul 2010, 16:18, Reply)

I got stung in the eye by a wasp once
It was in 2002, so not the LAST thing, but the last one I saw fit to commit to memory. It woke me up, after a night spent taking massive drugs, at 7am. By stinging me in the fucking eye. That was rubbish.

On the upside, England are making Pakistan's batsmen look foolish
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 30 Jul 2010, 15:38, Reply)

You say 'massive drugs'
how massive is massive? Size of your head, size of a poodle, I demand answers!
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Fri 30 Jul 2010, 15:40, Reply)

It was in 2002
and I couldn't remember then!

But if I had to guess, I'd say it was the size of a 1.4l Volkswagen Polo
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 30 Jul 2010, 15:41, Reply)

If you remember 2002,
You weren't there man.
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Fri 30 Jul 2010, 15:43, Reply)

A valid point.

(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Fri 30 Jul 2010, 15:46, Reply)

Meh
I've seen a guy swallow a pill the size of a blue whale before!
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Fri 30 Jul 2010, 15:43, Reply)

I bet he didin't get stung in the fucking eye by a wasp though
not that he would've noticed if he had. That was my downfall; insufficiently massive drugs
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 30 Jul 2010, 15:46, Reply)

Nah he was probably protected by the massive blue whale size drug at the time

(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Fri 30 Jul 2010, 15:47, Reply)

I think you're porpoisely exaggerating for comedy effect

(Miraclefish How appropriate, you fight like a cow, Fri 30 Jul 2010, 15:56, Reply)

Nope its 100% trufacts
His names Jim, Jim the druggie. He has a name and everything, can't get more real than that!
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Fri 30 Jul 2010, 16:01, Reply)

Flim Flam has a nasty set of gnashers on her.

( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Fri 30 Jul 2010, 16:11, Reply)

Nom nom nom!

(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Fri 30 Jul 2010, 16:13, Reply)

Impaled
on a broken martini glass.
(Zoz prayed for twink on, Fri 30 Jul 2010, 16:26, Reply)

Same answer for all four

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 30 Jul 2010, 16:49, Reply)