LONDON IS set to become a congestion hotspot during the 2012 Olympic games when around 60 miles of routes will get 'VIP' lanes specifically designated for Olympic athletes, VIPs, sponsors, official guests and the media
“It will mean inconvenience for London drivers for 17 days of the game,” said London Mayor Boris Johnson. “I can't pretend that during that period you will be able to bomb along the Embankment. I hope that Londoners will understand that some modest inconvenience at Games time is a price worth paying for a happy Olympic and Paralympic Games.”

The lanes will be in the West End, in East London around the Olympic Park, Greenwich Park and the North Greenwich Arena. Road users who break the rules by using in the restricted lanes will face a £200 fine. More VIP lanes are set to be announced in areas outside the city centre, including Eton and Broxbourne in Hertfordshire.

What do we think of this?
(Miraclefish How appropriate, you fight like a cow, Fri 30 Jul 2010, 16:04, 108 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

I don't really care, if I'm honest *shrugs*
The Olympics have been brilliant for the East End, because to get to them means going through Hackney which is most embarrassing for the country, so the pavements, roads and public transport are all noticeably improved already. Sport itself is of course pointless and gay, mind.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 30 Jul 2010, 16:06, Reply)

People who drive in London are stupid.

(PsychoChomp, Fri 30 Jul 2010, 16:06, Reply)

I could not agree more.
Even if you got cabs everywhere it would still be less hassle and probably cheaper.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 30 Jul 2010, 16:09, Reply)

Depends really
Driving centrally is utterly moronic, but on the outskirts it's not that daft. I'd love to be able to drive but am I fuck wasting daft amounts of money to learn.
(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Fri 30 Jul 2010, 16:11, Reply)

Don't care
London sucks
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 30 Jul 2010, 16:09, Reply)

*belms*
By the way, how exactly are you related to John Mellencamp?
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 30 Jul 2010, 16:09, Reply)

I'm sure this is hilarious
but I don't know who he is or nuffin
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 30 Jul 2010, 16:13, Reply)

I bet he's got a list of obscure insults he can't wait to tell.

(PsychoChomp, Fri 30 Jul 2010, 16:16, Reply)

I'm working on it.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 30 Jul 2010, 16:23, Reply)

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 30 Jul 2010, 16:18, Reply)

err OK

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 30 Jul 2010, 16:26, Reply)

He is used to be called...
...John Cougar Melandkim and had a hit about being Respectable. In the video he quite convincingly pretended to be two black girls.
(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Fri 30 Jul 2010, 16:51, Reply)

See?
Tuggers knows the facts.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 30 Jul 2010, 16:55, Reply)

I think it's 2010, why are 'we' talking about this now?

( Lisette von Falcon, Fri 30 Jul 2010, 16:11, Reply)

I'm trying to get terrorist lols out of "Bomb along the embankment"
but my brain has given up. So here's some music:

"There was a little spanish flea, de de de de de de de de..."
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Fri 30 Jul 2010, 16:12, Reply)

My god, it will be just like Moscow.
I'll just crack one off to the editor of the Telegraph, and complain like hell.
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Fri 30 Jul 2010, 16:13, Reply)

Nice looking, is he?

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 30 Jul 2010, 16:19, Reply)

I was wondering how shooting his filthy man-muck at the editor of the Telegraph was going to help

( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Fri 30 Jul 2010, 16:21, Reply)

Couldn't care less
I'm rarely in London, and when i am I just take the tube everywhere.
If it infuriates people I don't know, then I'm happy.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 30 Jul 2010, 16:14, Reply)

If I'm still living in London in 2012
I'll be getting the fuck out of dodge for the time that its on, can't be doing with the onslaught of additional tourists who don't know their arse from their elbow!
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Fri 30 Jul 2010, 16:23, Reply)

I shall be going on a pick-pocketing spree
the likes of which London has not seen since the 1870s.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 30 Jul 2010, 16:24, Reply)

Nice one Fagan

( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Fri 30 Jul 2010, 16:26, Reply)

Donald? From Steely Dan?

Or Fagin?
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 30 Jul 2010, 16:27, Reply)

Sorry
I meant Fag
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Fri 30 Jul 2010, 16:29, Reply)

But but but sport?

(PsychoChomp, Fri 30 Jul 2010, 16:25, Reply)

She's a lady, Chompo.

( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Fri 30 Jul 2010, 16:25, Reply)

Then she can watch the shit sports like archery.

(PsychoChomp, Fri 30 Jul 2010, 16:26, Reply)

Is needlepoint and Olympic sport?

( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Fri 30 Jul 2010, 16:29, Reply)

and what about crying and periods?

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 30 Jul 2010, 16:36, Reply)

Yup
along with using the remote contol to scratch your crack and ballsack!
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Fri 30 Jul 2010, 16:39, Reply)

FINALLY, a sport I can excel at.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 30 Jul 2010, 16:48, Reply)

Don't think so but dancing with ribbons is.

(PsychoChomp, Fri 30 Jul 2010, 16:36, Reply)

Yeah but I don't care about no runners innit blood

(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Fri 30 Jul 2010, 16:26, Reply)

and it's this attitude of Londoners
that makes the place so unpleasant

That and it smells, is noisy, cramped, sweaty, expensive and alienating
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 30 Jul 2010, 16:26, Reply)

Oh yeah
Spin on it!

EDIT: Also 'cry me a river' *does a Justin Timberland dance*
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Fri 30 Jul 2010, 16:27, Reply)

YEAH. SPIN ON IT YEAH?

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 30 Jul 2010, 16:27, Reply)

YEAAAAH!

(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Fri 30 Jul 2010, 16:28, Reply)

*hides from the scary Londoners*

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 30 Jul 2010, 16:28, Reply)

*happy slaps*

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 30 Jul 2010, 16:33, Reply)

*captures it all on mobile phone*
*sends to all friends and uploads to YouTube*
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Fri 30 Jul 2010, 16:36, Reply)

*bleeds*

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 30 Jul 2010, 16:38, Reply)

Arf!
Leona!
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Fri 30 Jul 2010, 16:40, Reply)

*informs the cops*
*watches you get arrested*
*goes through your computers*
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 30 Jul 2010, 16:38, Reply)

Hahaha
My computers safe, its all kittums and rainbows!
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Fri 30 Jul 2010, 16:40, Reply)

Not bothered about that
*looks for holiday bikini pics*
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 30 Jul 2010, 16:42, Reply)

*finds pics of Tightly in bondage gear*

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 30 Jul 2010, 16:42, Reply)

Hahaha that's more likely than pics of me in a bikini!

(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Fri 30 Jul 2010, 16:44, Reply)

Score!

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 30 Jul 2010, 16:46, Reply)

Do a search for "*.mpeg" and "*.jpeg" on your hard drive without the quote marks.

(PsychoChomp, Fri 30 Jul 2010, 16:43, Reply)

But... but...
its hundreds of pictures of you... what th-
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Fri 30 Jul 2010, 16:48, Reply)

DiT's my biggest fan.

(PsychoChomp, Fri 30 Jul 2010, 16:48, Reply)

I tried being a Londoner once
I just wasn't arrogant or rude enough to strangers

edit: someone back me up here, I can't be the only non londoner - these guys are gonna knife me!
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 30 Jul 2010, 16:31, Reply)

I'm a non Londoner
And do find most Londoners rude.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 30 Jul 2010, 16:41, Reply)

I've lived in
London
Dorset
Wiltshire
Bedfordshire
Cambridgeshire

They're rude people everywhere!
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Fri 30 Jul 2010, 16:43, Reply)

No, they're cities and counties.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 30 Jul 2010, 16:44, Reply)

:-P

(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Fri 30 Jul 2010, 16:45, Reply)

People can be friendly in Liverpool
Not so much in Stratford, everyone considers themselves too posh to talk to anyone else.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 30 Jul 2010, 16:45, Reply)

Stratford is a scary place
well the 'shopping centre' is anyways!
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Fri 30 Jul 2010, 16:49, Reply)

I mean of the 'upon Avon' variety
Not the part of London.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 30 Jul 2010, 16:53, Reply)

Ah I see!
As you were.
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Fri 30 Jul 2010, 16:55, Reply)

the top of the northern line
is not Scotland, you know
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 30 Jul 2010, 16:56, Reply)

there are some* morons
in south wales, but people will actually talk to you

*many
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 30 Jul 2010, 16:46, Reply)

Ah, but can you understand what they are saying?

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 30 Jul 2010, 16:51, Reply)

usually something about leeks
and tom jones
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 30 Jul 2010, 16:57, Reply)

and 'Sha-kin' Ste-vens'


or the 'Ste-reo-pho-necks'
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 30 Jul 2010, 16:58, Reply)

baan-gin'

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 30 Jul 2010, 17:02, Reply)

meh
I've been here three years next Friday and hating people grows on you, if they wern't all cunts we'd get along so well!
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Fri 30 Jul 2010, 16:41, Reply)

I made it about 8 months
in a horrible house share and a 10 hrs a day job paying a pittance
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 30 Jul 2010, 16:43, Reply)

No, it's definitely the tourists.

( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Fri 30 Jul 2010, 16:29, Reply)

Ha-harr!
Trufacts
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Fri 30 Jul 2010, 16:30, Reply)

Right on, Shaft.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 30 Jul 2010, 16:34, Reply)

The tubes will still be running.
Problem fucking solved.
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Fri 30 Jul 2010, 16:25, Reply)

Central Line'll probably be down
Ballsacks!
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Fri 30 Jul 2010, 16:27, Reply)

Yes, what do you want?

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 30 Jul 2010, 16:38, Reply)

I honour it every day
usually into a sock
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Fri 30 Jul 2010, 16:42, Reply)

It is less of a name
- more a command....
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 30 Jul 2010, 16:43, Reply)

Damn straight

( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Fri 30 Jul 2010, 16:46, Reply)

He looks like Richard Herring
only without the Hitler tash.
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Fri 30 Jul 2010, 17:22, Reply)

Who gives a fuck about what's happening in Britain?

( Theoban What of it, Fri 30 Jul 2010, 16:32, Reply)

THE ILLUMINATI - THAT'S WHO.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 30 Jul 2010, 16:35, Reply)

FUCKING JEW OWL WORSHIPPERS

( Theoban What of it, Fri 30 Jul 2010, 16:36, Reply)

Thick as pigshit "Sun" readers

( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Fri 30 Jul 2010, 16:39, Reply)

I don't even know what a Sun is

( Theoban What of it, Fri 30 Jul 2010, 16:41, Reply)

...the disappointingly formulaic
follow-up single from Foreigner.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 30 Jul 2010, 16:42, Reply)

Oh Foreigner
*lays lily down next to roadside memorial*
( Theoban What of it, Fri 30 Jul 2010, 16:44, Reply)

I've been waiting...for a girl like Stu...

( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Fri 30 Jul 2010, 16:44, Reply)

Tabloid newspaper
full of low-brow opinion thinly masked as news.
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Fri 30 Jul 2010, 16:43, Reply)

What's a 'tab loid'?

( Theoban What of it, Fri 30 Jul 2010, 16:45, Reply)

Oh man, it's too late in the day/week for this
"Ladies and gentlemen...Mister Conway Twitty"
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Fri 30 Jul 2010, 16:48, Reply)

Then you have missed out on many of the great puns of our times.

(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Fri 30 Jul 2010, 16:45, Reply)

Puns? Are you just making up words now?

( Theoban What of it, Fri 30 Jul 2010, 16:49, Reply)

Alrighty then
Rootatron requested a badge from me, specifically a cougartron one. Behold!


( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 30 Jul 2010, 16:54, Reply)

Is that a Zoid?

( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Fri 30 Jul 2010, 16:55, Reply)

Y'know
It might well be. I just did a few Google image searches until I found something decent.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 30 Jul 2010, 17:00, Reply)

awesome

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 30 Jul 2010, 16:55, Reply)

It's very good.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 30 Jul 2010, 16:58, Reply)

And here I was expecting you to find some spelling or grammar mistakes I'd missed

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 30 Jul 2010, 16:59, Reply)

Haha I really am a right cunt aren't I?

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 30 Jul 2010, 17:04, Reply)

it's beyond my wildest dreams

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 30 Jul 2010, 16:58, Reply)

It looks like He Man's cat.

( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Fri 30 Jul 2010, 17:16, Reply)

Mister Cringerpants?

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 30 Jul 2010, 17:17, Reply)

Errrrrrrr. Yes, probably.

( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Fri 30 Jul 2010, 17:18, Reply)

He man was a metaphor for male puberty
Prince Adam holds aloft his 'magic sword' which got considerably larger, longer and more powerful, while his voice deepened and muscles grew.

Not sure where I'm going with it when you start talking about him being accompanied by a large ferocious pussy
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 30 Jul 2010, 17:27, Reply)

dude
Loving the VAST Sig
( djtrialprice, Fri 30 Jul 2010, 17:23, Reply)

Cheers mate!

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 30 Jul 2010, 17:31, Reply)

Well there we have it ladies and gentlemen; the end of another working week.
Hoo-Fucking-Ray
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Fri 30 Jul 2010, 17:01, Reply)

Don't care
Won't be going to the Olympics.
Won't be watching the Olympics on TV.
Don't like London.
(Captain Placid 24/7 ball gags, brownie mix and clown porn, Fri 30 Jul 2010, 17:44, Reply)

I think, haha I no longer work at north greenwich.

( fuck shit up the best you never had, Fri 30 Jul 2010, 19:43, Reply)