I like walking around my flat naked
(with the blinds/curtains drawn), but hate being naked in public, like gym changing rooms. At the local swimming baths, if it's busy, I have to do that awkward pulling-your-shorts-down-while-the-towel's-wrapped-around-you dance.

I'd go skinny dipping if there was nobody (except SO) around, but wouldn't go nudey on a beach, especially not in front of friends! Hell, I have a hard time being shirtless in front of friends.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 18 Aug 2010, 9:29, 1 reply, 16 years ago)

I agree with this wholeheartedly
I won't take my top off in front of humans if I can possibly avoid it. I used to love swimming as well, but the prospect fills me with a healthy degree of abject horror nowadays
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 18 Aug 2010, 9:32, Reply)

Really? Why?
Boys' chests have nothing to hide!

I love sunbathing top-less. It feels sooo good and warm and soft.... mmmm... I'm going to Tenerife in 1 week and I can't wait!
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Wed 18 Aug 2010, 9:39, Reply)

I am not as trim/firm as I'd like to be
Therefore am too embarrassed.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 18 Aug 2010, 9:40, Reply)

I'm not firm at all
But I don't mind. The feeling of the sun on my skin is too good.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Wed 18 Aug 2010, 9:41, Reply)

I'll go topless on holiday on the beach
Menorca for 7 days, in just under 2 weeks time!
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 18 Aug 2010, 9:42, Reply)

Are you going to the pretty places
or only beach?

Ask for "sobrasada" once there!
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Wed 18 Aug 2010, 9:45, Reply)

That's a sausage, isn't it?
We're staying in a quiet-ish resort near Cuitadela, because I hate the Anglicised big resorts, and Cuitadela looks to have a bit of history. We'll do some beaching, and some sight-seeing.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 18 Aug 2010, 9:47, Reply)

Not quite
It's like spreadable chorizo, on toast, with melted cheese on top. Ooooh!
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Wed 18 Aug 2010, 9:55, Reply)

And that looks like a great plan
I wouldn't want to say that any of my friends is a proper guire, all red, socks and sandals, stupid hat and beer on hand 24h.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Wed 18 Aug 2010, 9:56, Reply)

No fucking way am I a 'guire'!

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 18 Aug 2010, 9:57, Reply)

Oh, sorry
I misspelled that one, it's guiri.

For what I saw of you, you didn't look like one, but some British change over during the flight, and land as proper twats in Spain.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Wed 18 Aug 2010, 10:02, Reply)

Never ever ever
When I visit a country I try to speak a bit of the language, try the food, see the sights etc. My idea of Hell would include being stuck in a holiday resort that was all English/Irish pubs.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 18 Aug 2010, 10:04, Reply)

I would agree
I have a healthy dislike of resorts which are favoured by Brits.
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Wed 18 Aug 2010, 10:05, Reply)

I went to Puerto Del Carmen last year, that was fantastic
No wideboys to be found!
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 18 Aug 2010, 10:08, Reply)

I always tell my friends where to go in Spain to avoid the guiris
and then I fear they'll tell their friends, and the friends of the friends, and so on, until that pretty place is no more a no-guiri place.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Wed 18 Aug 2010, 10:13, Reply)

Don't do it Labs, that's Spanish for buttsex

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 18 Aug 2010, 9:47, Reply)

Oh man I'm totally getting me some of that!
Que te den por el culo!
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 18 Aug 2010, 9:50, Reply)

Jajajaja!
Very good! Careful when you say it, though!
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Wed 18 Aug 2010, 9:56, Reply)

I found a site that has swear words for all languages.
www.youswear.com
Most of the ones I've browsed seem alright.

Me encanta tu culo ;)
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 18 Aug 2010, 9:58, Reply)

If you want to sound more Spanish
forget the "el" and just say "que te den por culo"

I'll look at that website from home.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Wed 18 Aug 2010, 10:01, Reply)

I'm going to try and pluck up the courage to go topless
but it might take a few cocktails!
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 18 Aug 2010, 9:40, Reply)

Well
Nobody knows you there, what's the worst that can happen? Almost every woman in Tenerife goes topless as well. We don't like sun marks.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Wed 18 Aug 2010, 9:42, Reply)

I have a surprising amount of male friends who don't want to take their shirts off on the beach
and most of them are because they think they're too skinny and pasty. Then I know a couple of guys who work pretty hard at the gym so they take their shirt off at the drop of a hat. If I had a six pack I would do that too though.

I usually get stared at on the beach or in a swimming pool because of my tattoo, but I always think it's because I've got my arse hanging out or a nipple on show or something.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 18 Aug 2010, 9:40, Reply)

If I had a six pack
I'd flaunt it fo' sho'.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 18 Aug 2010, 9:41, Reply)

Honestly, guys
The beach is to enjoy yourself, not to show your bodies! Just relax, enjoy the sun, the breeze, the refreshing water!
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Wed 18 Aug 2010, 9:44, Reply)

Oh I'll definitely do that
But if I had a six pack I'd enjoy it more.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 18 Aug 2010, 9:46, Reply)

tru dat
also, if I wasn't a tubby bitch with a really hairy chest and a slightly hairy back.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 18 Aug 2010, 9:48, Reply)

+getting married to

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 18 Aug 2010, 9:53, Reply)

harsh man, harsh

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 18 Aug 2010, 9:58, Reply)

Sorry, just too easy

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 18 Aug 2010, 9:59, Reply)

Bah, you said you'd lost weight!
Plus I have practically zero chest/back hair, so if I did have a good tan and six pack I'd be sorted. Fuck you, metabolism, fuck you!
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 18 Aug 2010, 9:54, Reply)

But that's so wrong!
You weren't fat when I saw you? Why is it imperative to have a six-pack? A non-chubby, healthy figure is very sexy too. Would you think of telling a good looking girl not to go with her bikini to the beach only because she doesn't have perfectly fit muscles? If she's a whale, maybe, but being healthy looking, why?
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Wed 18 Aug 2010, 9:59, Reply)

I am kinda exaggerating
But I am fatter than I'd like to be. And I'd never dissuade a good looking girl from wearing a bikini ;)
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 18 Aug 2010, 10:01, Reply)

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 18 Aug 2010, 10:09, Reply)

GTFO
you are a ridiculously long way from being fat.
(berk, Wed 18 Aug 2010, 10:10, Reply)

You're far too kind!
I hide it well is all.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 18 Aug 2010, 10:13, Reply)

I quite agree
I've not got a perfect body by any means, but going around in shorts in the swimming pool doesn't bother me at all. I don't tend to do it so much on the beach (unless I'm swimming) because I burn so easily. But this doesn't help my brilliant whiteness. People have been dazzled by the sunlight reflecting from me!
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Wed 18 Aug 2010, 10:03, Reply)

I have
it's still an ongoing process though

actually, having a hairy chest doesn't bother me, I feel bemused by it
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 18 Aug 2010, 9:59, Reply)

I'd be bemused if I suddenly woke up with one
As it stands, I'm glad I don't, even though some women prefer a hairy chest.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 18 Aug 2010, 10:01, Reply)

I've got a hairy chest
and back, shoulders and pretty much everywhere else too. It doesn't bother me either way.

Fortunately the Mrs likes it.
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Wed 18 Aug 2010, 10:04, Reply)

yeah, fortunately my mrs likes it too
and the hair!
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 18 Aug 2010, 10:10, Reply)

I don't like hairy
At all, appart from head, arm pits and a trimmed bush, the less hairy the better.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Wed 18 Aug 2010, 10:08, Reply)

*waggles eyebrows*
Well hellooooo!
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 18 Aug 2010, 10:08, Reply)

ok, ok
I knew I was missing something. But well kept eyebrows, I don't want a single one, but 2 perfectly differenciated.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Wed 18 Aug 2010, 10:10, Reply)

Yes, mono brows are WRONG

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 18 Aug 2010, 10:14, Reply)

I'm firmly with Labs on this one
Unfortunately all the running and sit-ups in the world aren't going to give me the stomach I really want unless I give up beer and chocolate, and this is clearly not on the cards
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 18 Aug 2010, 10:02, Reply)

As I said to Labia
You wouldn't consider a girl unsexy just because her muscles aren't perfectly fit. Why are you so hard on yourself?
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Wed 18 Aug 2010, 10:09, Reply)

Pfft
'Hard on'
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 18 Aug 2010, 10:10, Reply)

Hurr hurr
"hard on"
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 18 Aug 2010, 10:10, Reply)

boys... you're so simple...

(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Wed 18 Aug 2010, 10:10, Reply)

Yep!

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 18 Aug 2010, 10:11, Reply)

^ this
my bloke moans about having a (small) gut and man boobs, yet he's perfectly happy to overlook my flaws. I've told him the only time I'll care is if his tits get bigger than mine.
(berk, Wed 18 Aug 2010, 10:12, Reply)

I'm the other way around,
I bully Wiggy for not being fit and healthy, eventually he joined the gym at work. In return he calls me a fat whore at every available opportunity. It works for us.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 18 Aug 2010, 10:44, Reply)

you frequently eat whole apple crumbles and cheesecakes and stuff....

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 18 Aug 2010, 10:45, Reply)

Jealous?

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 18 Aug 2010, 10:54, Reply)

if by jealous you mean aroused
then yes
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 18 Aug 2010, 10:56, Reply)

hell yeah
I do work pretty hard to balance it out though.

I might make some kind of cheesecake with a crumble topping.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 18 Aug 2010, 11:03, Reply)

that sounds awesome
bring me cheesecrumblecake!
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 18 Aug 2010, 11:06, Reply)

Chocolate is easy
Ale is the difficult one to give up
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 18 Aug 2010, 10:09, Reply)

I could give up beer instantly
I don't like it that much.

Chocolate is a different matter however.
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Wed 18 Aug 2010, 10:55, Reply)

I like my beer belly
I can rest things on it whilst I think.
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Wed 18 Aug 2010, 10:10, Reply)