I'm back! Missed me ?
No? Fuck off then. On a more amiable note, I have just returned from holiday and apart from a few incidents it was well chilled interspersed with periods of relaxation. However there were three highlights.

1) On the second night it was the eve of changeover for many of our Continental neighbours. As is traditional they went out and got hammered and returned in the small hours with much drunken noisiness. That's fine. It's holidays, it is permitted. What pissed me off slightly was the noisy and enthusiastic sounds of a proper rogering coming from the next door neighbours. For about an hour and a half. The worst thing was bumping into them the next morning on the way to breakfast. As far as I was aware they were just a friendly pair of 60ish Dutch ladies. Who looked like sisters. Such things are not easily wiped from memory.

2) This also was a breakfast incident. Breakfast as with all meals was buffet based but was a huge affair so there were rarely queues. However, this particular morning I was waiting patiently at the cooked breakfast bar (Mmmmm bacon, pancakes, maple syrup) when I noticed the rear view of a vision of loveliness. About 1.7m tall with long blonde hair and the curves in all the right places. I was leering so intently I didn't have time to stop when she did and bumped into her. She turned around and gave me a really sweet smile. You know, that special one Down's sufferers reserve for when they are unsure of what's happening. Yes, I'd been ogling a mong. The shame.

3) And finally. One evening we had whiled away the hours in a bar with a friend from Dublin and arrived back at the hotel a wee bit squiffy. MrsP did her usual of stripping to bra and pants and going to stand on the (unlit) balcony. I joined her and stood behind her with hands on her breasts and well, you can guess the rest. After she had gone back inside I noticed a slight red glow from one of the other balconies. A low voice said "Good one mate. Nice tits." I didn't tell her.

Now is the fun bit. Call shenanigans on one of the above, I will confirm which one is a load of shite later today.

Which one's the shenanigan




With thanks to Mr E.
(porkylips looks better as the sun goes down., Wed 18 Aug 2010, 10:58, 22 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

The Mong is a lie

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Wed 18 Aug 2010, 11:02, Reply)

They're all lies
You've actually just been living in a cupboard for the last week, and do nothing exciting in your life.
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Wed 18 Aug 2010, 11:04, Reply)

tl:dr

(Bret Mong Keys Eggs has wet his weapon, Wed 18 Aug 2010, 11:04, Reply)

I suspect the hottie spacktard is made up
they don't usually grow taller than 5'3" do they? Coincidentally my sister is 5'3"...
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 18 Aug 2010, 11:05, Reply)

And how tall are you?

(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Wed 18 Aug 2010, 11:06, Reply)

5'7"
supermodel height y'know. Jus' sayin'.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 18 Aug 2010, 11:35, Reply)

coincidentally
my sister is also 5'3. And since she's turning 17 she won't be growing taller
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Wed 18 Aug 2010, 11:37, Reply)

They can grow quite tall. I've seen them at a whole fathom tall.

( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Wed 18 Aug 2010, 11:08, Reply)

Only if you measure from the head down though

( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Wed 18 Aug 2010, 11:17, Reply)

The mong story is a lie
I doubt you think of people's height in metres. You are a feet and inches kind of guy.

Edit: Nice to have you back fellah.
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Wed 18 Aug 2010, 11:06, Reply)

I converted for the young people on here.
She was about 5'8". Taller than me.
(porkylips looks better as the sun goes down., Wed 18 Aug 2010, 14:31, Reply)

The mong is a lie.

(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Wed 18 Aug 2010, 11:07, Reply)

I reckon the mong is a lie
shame on you porky
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Wed 18 Aug 2010, 11:08, Reply)

This is fun.
Wish I knew how to set this up as a poll.
(porkylips looks better as the sun goes down., Wed 18 Aug 2010, 11:10, Reply)

www.palmnet.me.uk/polls/new.php
(Bret Mong Keys Eggs has wet his weapon, Wed 18 Aug 2010, 11:16, Reply)

*Palms face*
I've been away too long. Well played.
(porkylips looks better as the sun goes down., Wed 18 Aug 2010, 11:23, Reply)

but the link itself is actually a real poll thing if you copy and paste it

(Bret Mong Keys Eggs has wet his weapon, Wed 18 Aug 2010, 11:37, Reply)

Thanks a lot.
Poll added.
(porkylips looks better as the sun goes down., Wed 18 Aug 2010, 11:49, Reply)

Whilst I'm fairly sure
that Down's kids don't grow to 1.7m, I'm going to go out on a limb and say the lesbians are a lie.
(berk, Wed 18 Aug 2010, 11:14, Reply)

I had to stop myself from Googling
"Tallest Mong on record", because I remembered that my net traffic is monitored, and I didn't want to explain that one to my boss.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 18 Aug 2010, 11:16, Reply)

This is the tallest thing in Mong
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Langham_Place,_Hong_Kong

Does that help?
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 18 Aug 2010, 11:24, Reply)

Pffft Mong Kok

(Bazongaloid, Wed 18 Aug 2010, 11:25, Reply)

I went to Mong kok market in HK once - was disappointed there weren't any mongs for sale

(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Wed 18 Aug 2010, 11:29, Reply)

During the b3tan chair thread I was a bit concerned after I googled "restraint chair"

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 18 Aug 2010, 11:36, Reply)

I look at a lot of Google Search History at work
The best one recently was a guy who looked up the foll "porn", then "russian porn", then "russian escorts in London". Several days later, they searched for "syphilis symptoms" and then "GUM clinic London".
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 18 Aug 2010, 11:40, Reply)

I reckon it's the mong too
Simply because I've never seen a blonde mong.
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Wed 18 Aug 2010, 11:17, Reply)

I'm sorry but I just can't see us getting on.

( Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Wed 18 Aug 2010, 11:18, Reply)

Fucking on the balcony is a lie.
Labs is a twat.
( thealternativefact, Wed 18 Aug 2010, 11:19, Reply)

Part of a twat

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 18 Aug 2010, 11:20, Reply)

No, the whole of you is a twat

(Bazongaloid, Wed 18 Aug 2010, 11:21, Reply)

YAY!

( thealternativefact, Wed 18 Aug 2010, 11:22, Reply)

I am going to Paintsmash the pair of you

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 18 Aug 2010, 11:24, Reply)

Hello, did you enjoy popping your festival cherry?

(Bazongaloid, Wed 18 Aug 2010, 11:26, Reply)

It was huge fun! Even though it was mud central!

( thealternativefact, Wed 18 Aug 2010, 11:31, Reply)

Did you flash your norks at a big screen?

(Bazongaloid, Wed 18 Aug 2010, 11:36, Reply)

NO
I was well behaved.
( thealternativefact, Wed 18 Aug 2010, 11:43, Reply)

Well behaved? Really?
So no tent shenanigans?
(Bazongaloid, Wed 18 Aug 2010, 11:45, Reply)

TENTWANKER

(Bret Mong Keys Eggs has wet his weapon, Wed 18 Aug 2010, 11:46, Reply)

Nope.
The snoring from the man in the next tent put me off.
( thealternativefact, Wed 18 Aug 2010, 11:47, Reply)

You made your boyfriend sleep in the next tent?

(Bazongaloid, Wed 18 Aug 2010, 11:50, Reply)

haha

( thealternativefact, Wed 18 Aug 2010, 11:56, Reply)

w
(porkylips looks better as the sun goes down., Wed 18 Aug 2010, 11:24, Reply)

He has a tattoo that totally covers him?

(Cave Duck, Wed 18 Aug 2010, 11:36, Reply)

Without a numerical qualifier you may assume an unnumbered strikethrough refers to the first incidence of such.
If it's mine anyway.
(porkylips looks better as the sun goes down., Wed 18 Aug 2010, 11:52, Reply)

I see.
*writes down*
(Cave Duck, Wed 18 Aug 2010, 11:54, Reply)

oh cool
I just realised that my name is Mr E, like the riddler in batman forever
(Bret Mong Keys Eggs has wet his weapon, Wed 18 Aug 2010, 11:49, Reply)

Do you have beautiful blues?

(Cave Duck, Wed 18 Aug 2010, 11:55, Reply)

I do not

(Bret Mong Keys Eggs has wet his weapon, Wed 18 Aug 2010, 11:57, Reply)

I see
*writes down*
(Cave Duck, Wed 18 Aug 2010, 12:01, Reply)