Don't get a band
Anyone who dislikes the music they're playing will be unable to dance for an hour or so, and we all know that's what weddings are for. Happened to me at a mate's wedding in 2005. He got a fucking salsa band. Christ I was bored.

Get a DJ instead

I'll do it
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 19 Aug 2010, 12:45, 3 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

I'm not going to have a DJ
I don't care about people dancing. None of my mates will anyway.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 19 Aug 2010, 12:46, Reply)

What about your first dance?
Have you (or, more likely, Mrs Vipros) got a song picked out?
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 19 Aug 2010, 12:49, Reply)

she's not a crazy wedding bitch
so most things are being decided between the two of us.

we've got a couple of options.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 19 Aug 2010, 12:49, Reply)

I was thinking that she was more likely to be romantically inclined than you
Although given how many things we have in common you're just as liable to be a soppy bastard
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 19 Aug 2010, 12:50, Reply)

my choice is I can hear music by the Beach Boys
Hers is Love Walked In by Thunder
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 19 Aug 2010, 12:51, Reply)

Oooh, both great choices
for very different reasons. I can tell you that choreographing a semi-decent Rumba to Love Walked In will be a pain in the arse
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 19 Aug 2010, 12:53, Reply)

our first dance is liable to be a typical "we can't dance" dance

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 19 Aug 2010, 13:08, Reply)

Haven't you thought of a Vals?
(spelling?)
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Thu 19 Aug 2010, 13:39, Reply)

I have no idea what that is
or if you have spelt it wrong, what you might mean
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 19 Aug 2010, 13:43, Reply)

Waltz?

(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Thu 19 Aug 2010, 13:47, Reply)

your choice is ace Vipros
I'm not sure what your missus' one is so will youtube.
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Thu 19 Aug 2010, 13:19, Reply)

it's a big hair power ballad

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 19 Aug 2010, 13:21, Reply)

Am listening to it now
still think your choice is better.
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Thu 19 Aug 2010, 13:25, Reply)

the thunder one would be comedy though
also, it's pretty short, which can only be a good thing
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 19 Aug 2010, 13:26, Reply)

Could you not have them both
play one first then go straight into the other. You know make it a feature, film it, put it on youtube and if you're very lucky Alex Zane might show it on his shit telly show.
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Thu 19 Aug 2010, 13:28, Reply)

I was thinking some kind of mashup might work

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 19 Aug 2010, 13:32, Reply)

If I had any musical talent bar hitting things in time
I would try and do this.
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Thu 19 Aug 2010, 13:34, Reply)

Your options for 1st dance:
Entrails ripped from a virgin's cunt by Cannibal Corpse
Digital Hardcore by Atari Teenage Riot
If you tolerate this by Manic Street Preachers
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 19 Aug 2010, 12:53, Reply)

Ah, I see a problem here
If you tolerate this, even in the opinion of a longstanding Manics fan such as myself, is a shit song

But the other two will be very difficult to dance to, and are highly unromantic

I don't think you've thought this through Labs
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 19 Aug 2010, 12:55, Reply)

I thought it through just fine

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 19 Aug 2010, 12:57, Reply)

You've also put Digital Hardcore in my head
Great song. Haven't heard it in ages
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 19 Aug 2010, 12:58, Reply)

I reckon it should be
'You've Lost that Loving Feeling'*

*Thanks Top Gun
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Thu 19 Aug 2010, 13:09, Reply)

^this but not very appropriate lyric wise.

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Thu 19 Aug 2010, 13:22, Reply)

the lyrics could be rewritten

( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Thu 19 Aug 2010, 13:24, Reply)

go on then

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Thu 19 Aug 2010, 13:25, Reply)

Replace all instances of 'lost' with 'got'.

Job done.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 19 Aug 2010, 13:28, Reply)

and
never with always. Monty we could feasibly do this and make kajillions!
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Thu 19 Aug 2010, 13:29, Reply)

haha
I just did this, and it worked pretty well
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Thu 19 Aug 2010, 13:31, Reply)

It's one of those stupid ideas that just might...............
fall flat on its face.
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Thu 19 Aug 2010, 13:35, Reply)

Furthermore (and I can't believe I didn't think of this first)
Your friends don't dance? Well, if they don't dance then they're no friends of mine
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 19 Aug 2010, 12:50, Reply)

if you have a ceiliegh
then everyone can dance because the dude running it tells you what to do
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 19 Aug 2010, 12:47, Reply)

none of my mates would do a ceilidh

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 19 Aug 2010, 12:47, Reply)

get new friends

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 19 Aug 2010, 12:48, Reply)

Also, you spelt it wrong
English fool.
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Thu 19 Aug 2010, 12:57, Reply)

I can never spell
kayley keligh cayley

fuck it, have a barn dance
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 19 Aug 2010, 12:59, Reply)

ceilidh I think
and they're terrible. A bit like line dancing
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Thu 19 Aug 2010, 13:10, Reply)

they're hilarious to watch from above
especially when the participants are drunk as hell.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 19 Aug 2010, 13:11, Reply)

was that some sort
of out of body experience?
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Thu 19 Aug 2010, 13:13, Reply)

I wish it was
but the room the reception was in had a mezzanine level.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 19 Aug 2010, 13:14, Reply)

You are correct
And they're fun, especially as I get paid for playing at them.
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Thu 19 Aug 2010, 13:13, Reply)

Likewise.

( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Thu 19 Aug 2010, 13:27, Reply)

wow, will bear you both in mind
for the next time there is a fantasy land in need of advancing skipping routines
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 19 Aug 2010, 13:31, Reply)

I love 'em
there was one at my wedding and we often have them in larp. Nothing funnier than watching orcs doing country dancing
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 19 Aug 2010, 13:13, Reply)

Kayleigh?
I'm still trying to write that love song.
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Thu 19 Aug 2010, 13:26, Reply)

You should try dancing in stilettos in the snow
It might inspire you.
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Thu 19 Aug 2010, 13:27, Reply)

snow Torture Garden
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 19 Aug 2010, 13:28, Reply)

I'll have you know I dance quite well* in stilettos.

*No worse than usual
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Thu 19 Aug 2010, 13:33, Reply)

I'm getting a DJ for that reason
But I'd love all night dancing salsa. Just like Carnival. ¡Azúcar!
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Thu 19 Aug 2010, 13:38, Reply)