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(I helped save b3ta! rob, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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My mrs emailed Hayseed Dixie to ask how much to play at our wedding
Can't afford £10k unfortunately.

Who do you think we should get to play?
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 19 Aug 2010, 12:36, 121 replies, latest was 16 years ago)
I'll do it
I can play living on a prayer on a saucepan with a spoon
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 19 Aug 2010, 12:36, Reply)
The Mighty Belmers, surely?
Impeccable taste re Hayseed, BTW.
(BrianHequator was stretching owls, on, or around, Thu 19 Aug 2010, 12:36, Reply)
There's a local band called Hobo Jones and the Junkyard Dogs
who are similar to Hayseed Dixie, but play rock/skiffle covers
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 19 Aug 2010, 12:38, Reply)
why are you not hiring those guys?
they sound cool
(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 19 Aug 2010, 12:39, Reply)
because I only just thought of it
and I haven't seen them for a couple of years, and I was really high, so my memory might be skewed.
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 19 Aug 2010, 12:40, Reply)
you should definitely
hire someone you once heard years ago while high. There is no way that would go hilariously wrong
(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 19 Aug 2010, 12:41, Reply)
hahah

(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 19 Aug 2010, 12:44, Reply)
They were bloody awesome at Glastonbury this year.
Although I suspect they may also be out of your budget.
(I helped save b3ta! The Teviot Moose major 5th., Thu 19 Aug 2010, 12:44, Reply)
they are playing a lot of weddings at the moment according to their myspace page
I'll ask them how much
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 19 Aug 2010, 12:45, Reply)
Let me know... I'd be quite tempted too, if the price was right!

(I helped save b3ta! The Teviot Moose major 5th., Thu 19 Aug 2010, 12:53, Reply)
will do

(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 19 Aug 2010, 13:01, Reply)
They're good.
I quite like Stompin' Dave Allen too.
(oneinthepink is at your cervix m'lady, Thu 19 Aug 2010, 16:02, Reply)
Some shit cheap local band that'll entertain the oldies?

(PsychoChomp, Thu 19 Aug 2010, 12:37, Reply)
not going to be many old people at my wedding
and they are pretty much deaf anyway
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 19 Aug 2010, 12:37, Reply)
Excellent A level results work at wales online
sexyalevels.tumblr.com/
(PsychoChomp, Thu 19 Aug 2010, 13:34, Reply)
SLAYERRRRRRRRR!!!!!

(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 19 Aug 2010, 12:39, Reply)
that'd be so awesome

(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 19 Aug 2010, 12:39, Reply)
Right Said Fred

(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 19 Aug 2010, 12:39, Reply)
Bad Manners.
Buster will do anything for 3 bottles of Aftershock and a pork-pie.
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 19 Aug 2010, 12:41, Reply)
I dislike that sort of music

(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 19 Aug 2010, 12:47, Reply)
Richard Cheese?
He's bound to be cheap.
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Thu 19 Aug 2010, 12:41, Reply)
I like this
Just for the genius of his version of Rape Me. That'll go down a storm
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 19 Aug 2010, 12:43, Reply)
I would fucking love Richard Cheese
his version of Gin and Juice is great

and Closer
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 19 Aug 2010, 12:45, Reply)
and his version of 99 red balloons is hilarious.

(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Thu 19 Aug 2010, 12:56, Reply)
OOO!
Mr B, Gentleman Rhymer
(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 19 Aug 2010, 12:57, Reply)
Do it yourself.
Get those bear boys in, obviously with someone standing in for the beardy twat.
Drunken mates jamming at weddings FTW.
(porkylips looks better as the sun goes down., Thu 19 Aug 2010, 12:43, Reply)
fuck that
my band is nowhere near good enough for a wedding and we don't play covers.

also it'd be so fucking up one's own arse to have your own band there
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 19 Aug 2010, 12:46, Reply)
Which is why I'm surprised you're not doing it

(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 19 Aug 2010, 12:52, Reply)
I thought about going there but left it
I'm glad now. Good delivery.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 19 Aug 2010, 12:53, Reply)
she's saying what we're all thinking

(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 19 Aug 2010, 12:55, Reply)
I'm thinking about lunch
And sex with Peri Gilpin off of Frasier in her prime

So no, she's not
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 19 Aug 2010, 12:57, Reply)
you're not going to be invited now

(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 19 Aug 2010, 13:08, Reply)
Seasick Steve

(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Thu 19 Aug 2010, 12:43, Reply)
that would be ideal

(I helped save b3ta! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Thu 19 Aug 2010, 13:39, Reply)
Bowie

(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 19 Aug 2010, 12:44, Reply)
I would be so happy if this happened
at my wedding fuck Vipros
(I helped save b3ta! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Thu 19 Aug 2010, 13:40, Reply)
St Winfred's School Choir.

(I helped save b3ta! The Teviot Moose major 5th., Thu 19 Aug 2010, 12:44, Reply)
Don't get a band
Anyone who dislikes the music they're playing will be unable to dance for an hour or so, and we all know that's what weddings are for. Happened to me at a mate's wedding in 2005. He got a fucking salsa band. Christ I was bored.

Get a DJ instead

I'll do it
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 19 Aug 2010, 12:45, Reply)
I'm not going to have a DJ
I don't care about people dancing. None of my mates will anyway.
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 19 Aug 2010, 12:46, Reply)
What about your first dance?
Have you (or, more likely, Mrs Vipros) got a song picked out?
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 19 Aug 2010, 12:49, Reply)
she's not a crazy wedding bitch
so most things are being decided between the two of us.

we've got a couple of options.
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 19 Aug 2010, 12:49, Reply)
I was thinking that she was more likely to be romantically inclined than you
Although given how many things we have in common you're just as liable to be a soppy bastard
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 19 Aug 2010, 12:50, Reply)
my choice is I can hear music by the Beach Boys
Hers is Love Walked In by Thunder
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 19 Aug 2010, 12:51, Reply)
Oooh, both great choices
for very different reasons. I can tell you that choreographing a semi-decent Rumba to Love Walked In will be a pain in the arse
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 19 Aug 2010, 12:53, Reply)
our first dance is liable to be a typical "we can't dance" dance

(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 19 Aug 2010, 13:08, Reply)
Haven't you thought of a Vals?
(spelling?)
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Thu 19 Aug 2010, 13:39, Reply)
I have no idea what that is
or if you have spelt it wrong, what you might mean
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 19 Aug 2010, 13:43, Reply)
Waltz?

(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Thu 19 Aug 2010, 13:47, Reply)
your choice is ace Vipros
I'm not sure what your missus' one is so will youtube.
(I helped save b3ta! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Thu 19 Aug 2010, 13:19, Reply)
it's a big hair power ballad

(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 19 Aug 2010, 13:21, Reply)
Am listening to it now
still think your choice is better.
(I helped save b3ta! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Thu 19 Aug 2010, 13:25, Reply)
the thunder one would be comedy though
also, it's pretty short, which can only be a good thing
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 19 Aug 2010, 13:26, Reply)
Could you not have them both
play one first then go straight into the other. You know make it a feature, film it, put it on youtube and if you're very lucky Alex Zane might show it on his shit telly show.
(I helped save b3ta! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Thu 19 Aug 2010, 13:28, Reply)
I was thinking some kind of mashup might work

(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 19 Aug 2010, 13:32, Reply)
If I had any musical talent bar hitting things in time
I would try and do this.
(I helped save b3ta! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Thu 19 Aug 2010, 13:34, Reply)
Your options for 1st dance:
Entrails ripped from a virgin's cunt by Cannibal Corpse
Digital Hardcore by Atari Teenage Riot
If you tolerate this by Manic Street Preachers
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 19 Aug 2010, 12:53, Reply)
Ah, I see a problem here
If you tolerate this, even in the opinion of a longstanding Manics fan such as myself, is a shit song

But the other two will be very difficult to dance to, and are highly unromantic

I don't think you've thought this through Labs
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 19 Aug 2010, 12:55, Reply)
I thought it through just fine

(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 19 Aug 2010, 12:57, Reply)
You've also put Digital Hardcore in my head
Great song. Haven't heard it in ages
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 19 Aug 2010, 12:58, Reply)
I reckon it should be
'You've Lost that Loving Feeling'*

*Thanks Top Gun
(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Thu 19 Aug 2010, 13:09, Reply)
^this but not very appropriate lyric wise.

(I helped save b3ta! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Thu 19 Aug 2010, 13:22, Reply)
the lyrics could be rewritten

(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Thu 19 Aug 2010, 13:24, Reply)
go on then

(I helped save b3ta! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Thu 19 Aug 2010, 13:25, Reply)
Replace all instances of 'lost' with 'got'.

Job done.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 19 Aug 2010, 13:28, Reply)
and
never with always. Monty we could feasibly do this and make kajillions!
(I helped save b3ta! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Thu 19 Aug 2010, 13:29, Reply)
haha
I just did this, and it worked pretty well
(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Thu 19 Aug 2010, 13:31, Reply)
It's one of those stupid ideas that just might...............
fall flat on its face.
(I helped save b3ta! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Thu 19 Aug 2010, 13:35, Reply)
Furthermore (and I can't believe I didn't think of this first)
Your friends don't dance? Well, if they don't dance then they're no friends of mine
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 19 Aug 2010, 12:50, Reply)
if you have a ceiliegh
then everyone can dance because the dude running it tells you what to do
(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 19 Aug 2010, 12:47, Reply)
none of my mates would do a ceilidh

(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 19 Aug 2010, 12:47, Reply)
get new friends

(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 19 Aug 2010, 12:48, Reply)
Also, you spelt it wrong
English fool.
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Thu 19 Aug 2010, 12:57, Reply)
I can never spell
kayley keligh cayley

fuck it, have a barn dance
(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 19 Aug 2010, 12:59, Reply)
ceilidh I think
and they're terrible. A bit like line dancing
(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Thu 19 Aug 2010, 13:10, Reply)
they're hilarious to watch from above
especially when the participants are drunk as hell.
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 19 Aug 2010, 13:11, Reply)
was that some sort
of out of body experience?
(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Thu 19 Aug 2010, 13:13, Reply)
I wish it was
but the room the reception was in had a mezzanine level.
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 19 Aug 2010, 13:14, Reply)
You are correct
And they're fun, especially as I get paid for playing at them.
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Thu 19 Aug 2010, 13:13, Reply)
Likewise.

(I helped save b3ta! K2k6 has a proper job these days, Thu 19 Aug 2010, 13:27, Reply)
wow, will bear you both in mind
for the next time there is a fantasy land in need of advancing skipping routines
(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 19 Aug 2010, 13:31, Reply)
I love 'em
there was one at my wedding and we often have them in larp. Nothing funnier than watching orcs doing country dancing
(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 19 Aug 2010, 13:13, Reply)
Kayleigh?
I'm still trying to write that love song.
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Thu 19 Aug 2010, 13:26, Reply)
You should try dancing in stilettos in the snow
It might inspire you.
(I helped save b3ta! K2k6 has a proper job these days, Thu 19 Aug 2010, 13:27, Reply)

snow Torture Garden
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 19 Aug 2010, 13:28, Reply)
I'll have you know I dance quite well* in stilettos.

*No worse than usual
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Thu 19 Aug 2010, 13:33, Reply)
I'm getting a DJ for that reason
But I'd love all night dancing salsa. Just like Carnival. ¡Azúcar!
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Thu 19 Aug 2010, 13:38, Reply)
Manics?
Seeing how much you like them and all. ;-)

EDIT: They'll prolly only charge yo a tenner or so.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 19 Aug 2010, 12:45, Reply)
I played on the same stage as the Manics
Not at the same time, like
(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 19 Aug 2010, 12:56, Reply)
I bet
You were better than them.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 19 Aug 2010, 12:58, Reply)
totally
everyone loves the local community orchestra. We even had some audience members that weren't related to us :)
(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 19 Aug 2010, 13:01, Reply)
You are Kelly Jones from the Stereophonics
AICMFP

I saw your shower supporting the Manics in Manchester, winter of '96. You were shit
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 19 Aug 2010, 12:59, Reply)
Is
a postal order OK?
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 19 Aug 2010, 13:00, Reply)
err
I love wales, me...thouseeeeeend treeees
(I helped save b3ta! Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 19 Aug 2010, 13:03, Reply)
OH MY GOD GET U2
WOOOOO! WOOOOO! WOOOOOOOOOHHHOOOOOO
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 19 Aug 2010, 12:48, Reply)
EL-EH-VAY-SHUN!

(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 19 Aug 2010, 12:54, Reply)
It's got to be the Wurzels, hasn't it?
With a first dance of the Blackbird song.....
(Pirate Monkey is not the goddamn Batman, Thu 19 Aug 2010, 13:10, Reply)
Rammstein obviously
barring that no idea. Perhaps the worst band you know, and you could provide bottles of piss
(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Thu 19 Aug 2010, 13:21, Reply)
don't you know any good musicians?

(Bret Mong Keys Eggs has wet his weapon, Thu 19 Aug 2010, 13:22, Reply)
I do, but they are all in bands whose music I don't care for
aside from one of my old teachers who is in an awesome blues band. They are an option.
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 19 Aug 2010, 13:32, Reply)
I've tried to find bookings info for Tractor for you
but I'm afraid I have failed.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 19 Aug 2010, 13:25, Reply)
How about Anvil?
I hear they're big in Japan.
(I helped save b3ta! The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Thu 19 Aug 2010, 13:28, Reply)
I think you will find the Japanese are actually on the titchy side.

(I helped save b3ta! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Thu 19 Aug 2010, 13:29, Reply)
No. 'Big in Japan' are big in Japan.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 19 Aug 2010, 13:30, Reply)
man, I would love Tractor to play

(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 19 Aug 2010, 13:31, Reply)
They are still around,
I really thought there'd be contact details online.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 19 Aug 2010, 13:50, Reply)
Blue

(I helped save b3ta! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Thu 19 Aug 2010, 13:26, Reply)
Are the Barron Knights dead?

(I helped save b3ta! The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Thu 19 Aug 2010, 13:28, Reply)
They are.
I think they were 'taken out' by the Grumbleweeds.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 19 Aug 2010, 13:29, Reply)
Oi've got a brand new combine 'arvester...
*earworms*
(I helped save b3ta! K2k6 has a proper job these days, Thu 19 Aug 2010, 13:40, Reply)
that was the worzels

(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Thu 19 Aug 2010, 13:41, Reply)
Oh, so it was
Easy mistake to make though.
(I helped save b3ta! K2k6 has a proper job these days, Thu 19 Aug 2010, 13:48, Reply)
Ha ha

(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Thu 19 Aug 2010, 13:40, Reply)
I'm off to hospital now.
If I die, Vippers and Cancer can share my records.

Nice knowing you all.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 19 Aug 2010, 13:51, Reply)
I've managed to miss why you are going to hospital...

(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 19 Aug 2010, 13:55, Reply)
I've managed to start missing him already, and he's only been dead for six minutes.

(Bazongaloid, Thu 19 Aug 2010, 13:57, Reply)
he'll still be warm
take advantage
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 19 Aug 2010, 14:14, Reply)
why you off to hospital?
Hope it goes well
(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Thu 19 Aug 2010, 13:55, Reply)
I'm guessing it's an ingrowing toenail

(I helped save b3ta! K2k6 has a proper job these days, Thu 19 Aug 2010, 13:56, Reply)
I'm guessing it's to raid the pharmacy

(I helped save b3ta! Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Thu 19 Aug 2010, 15:15, Reply)
I'm guessing it's to shag Zsa Zsa Gabor
whilst she's still warm and yet unable to put up a fight.
(The Empress it seems you CAN polish a turd!, Thu 19 Aug 2010, 16:08, Reply)
7 Seconds of Love!

(The Empress it seems you CAN polish a turd!, Thu 19 Aug 2010, 16:07, Reply)

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