I deadlifted a 13-year-old female Ballroom Dancing World Champion above my head last night. Who here can say the same?
Knackered today. This is BBC1's fault for showing the awesome Galaxy Quest when I was thinking of going to bed. What films have you seen lately that you'd previously forgotten were completely brilliant?

Alt Q - am off to Bristol for the first time tonight, and on to Bath tomorrow. Anyone got any tips as to what I should see while I'm there?
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 20 Aug 2010, 9:54, 77 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

I lifted a dead 13 year old girl into my boot last night
does that count?
(Bret Mong Keys Eggs has wet his weapon, Fri 20 Aug 2010, 9:56, Reply)

You grabbed a dead 13 year old girl
And you expect us to be impressed?! I know this is b3ta, but outing yourself as a necropaedorapist is too far.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 20 Aug 2010, 9:57, Reply)

Do you mean you killed her first?
Isn't this against the rules?
( thealternativefact, Fri 20 Aug 2010, 9:57, Reply)

They struggle less that way
I'm mostly putting this comment here because I love how above this point everyone's all "ooh, we don't know if we can possibly approve of this" whilst secretly getting a bit hard over it (yes you Majora) and below it gets quite friendly and helpful

so if anyone replies to this in an abusive manner it will no longer make any sense
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 20 Aug 2010, 10:08, Reply)

necropaedorapist, I choose you!

(Bret Mong Keys Eggs has wet his weapon, Fri 20 Aug 2010, 10:10, Reply)

Hahaha!

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 20 Aug 2010, 10:11, Reply)

I like this
I don't like Lab
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 20 Aug 2010, 10:14, Reply)

Morning, treacle

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 20 Aug 2010, 10:18, Reply)

I like you though.
I'll like you even more in your sexy boots.
( thealternativefact, Fri 20 Aug 2010, 10:18, Reply)

I bought different boots in the end
that are MOAR SEXY
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 20 Aug 2010, 10:19, Reply)

I will explode with joy.
I went to the boot shop in Camden and now I have to save.
( thealternativefact, Fri 20 Aug 2010, 10:20, Reply)

Oh my god we are like totally going to be boot buddies forever

( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 20 Aug 2010, 10:24, Reply)

BBFs! Hurrah!

( thealternativefact, Fri 20 Aug 2010, 10:26, Reply)

Oh yeah
Did you win those boots?
Edit: Bah, fine, whatevs
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 20 Aug 2010, 10:19, Reply)

That's fucking brilliant

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 20 Aug 2010, 10:16, Reply)

I just crossed out the eyes and drew on a tongue, you lot are very easily impressed

(Bret Mong Keys Eggs has wet his weapon, Fri 20 Aug 2010, 10:17, Reply)

I think it was the introduction that sold it to me
The concept as a whole, rather than the minor modifications to the original picture, was what earned it the "fucking" prefix
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 20 Aug 2010, 10:19, Reply)

We spend all day on b3ta
OH! Has anyone checked out the image challenge? Hipponotomis is the best thing ever FACT
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 20 Aug 2010, 10:19, Reply)

it is great
I also really like "Foreploy"
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 20 Aug 2010, 10:22, Reply)

Agreed
I'm going to make an entry (hurr hurr).
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 20 Aug 2010, 10:24, Reply)

Oh you amature.
You don't knock them out first, then you have to carry a dead weight around, beat them around a little bit, enough so if they have to walk on their own, they can't, but they can still take most of their own weight and you can direct them to the final site you're going to end up with.

God, next time I go off on one, probably at the start of the month after pay day, so I can 'pay up front' (they don't expect anything when you do that), I'll take you along with me, no problem.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 20 Aug 2010, 10:33, Reply)

The museum at the top of Park Street in Bristol is worth a look
Free entry AND its got Egyptian mummies.

I did a comedy tour of Bath a month ago, very funny but I think the weather is going to be shit for the next few days. The Roman baths are a must.

Edit - The SS Great Britain in Bristol has won tourist-type awards.
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Fri 20 Aug 2010, 9:57, Reply)

The SS are in Great Britain?!
Run to the hills!
(Bret Mong Keys Eggs has wet his weapon, Fri 20 Aug 2010, 10:04, Reply)

Sure, the SS get a bad press
but nobody ever mentions all the tourists they bring in to the area (usually in the back of a cattle train)
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Fri 20 Aug 2010, 10:07, Reply)

fucking right we are.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 20 Aug 2010, 10:10, Reply)

Hello Monty you didn't reply to my gaz do you not love me any more?
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 20 Aug 2010, 10:15, Reply)

He was busy being dead.

( thealternativefact, Fri 20 Aug 2010, 10:17, Reply)

That is time consuming

( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 20 Aug 2010, 10:18, Reply)

I will love you until the end of my days*


*next Thursday
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 20 Aug 2010, 10:26, Reply)

Thank you for the recommendation Colonel
I like old shit, so that goes on the list
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 20 Aug 2010, 10:09, Reply)

No probs
Hope the weather gets better for your visit
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Fri 20 Aug 2010, 10:12, Reply)

I lifted my adult pole teacher.
Ha. She is pretty waif-like though and she was holding onto the pole as well. I also did some ridiculously mad hard moves and have bruises and missing skin to show for it.

Johnny Depp lives in Bath sometimes. Go and see him.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Fri 20 Aug 2010, 10:05, Reply)

so does the guy from Kula Shaker

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 20 Aug 2010, 10:07, Reply)

There were four guys in Kula Shaker
I assume you mean Crispian Mills as opposed to any of his equally punchable bandmates
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 20 Aug 2010, 10:08, Reply)

do you know any of their names without googling?
unlikely. Therefore Crispian Mills is the guy from Kula Shaker
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 20 Aug 2010, 10:10, Reply)

Good point
Well made
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 20 Aug 2010, 10:16, Reply)

oh well I didn't know a REAL celebrity lived there!
Sack Johnny Depp, go and see that guy who no one actually knows the name of.

EDIT: Ok it would appear that everyone knows the name of.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Fri 20 Aug 2010, 10:16, Reply)

So does Nicholas Cage
my mate sees him all the time. He looks dreadful IRL
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Fri 20 Aug 2010, 10:08, Reply)

looks is
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 20 Aug 2010, 10:11, Reply)

I am glad that i've never seen him in Bath
the temptation to shout, "Oi Cage! YOU SUCK!" would be too great.
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Fri 20 Aug 2010, 10:14, Reply)

he's good in Snake Eyes

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Fri 20 Aug 2010, 10:15, Reply)

he was alright in Kick Ass too

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 20 Aug 2010, 10:17, Reply)

I saw a pic the other day from his new film and he looks
like a tramp (empire put it better I forget the exact quote)
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 20 Aug 2010, 10:17, Reply)

Did they say:
and he looks like the talentless twat he truly is.
?
( thealternativefact, Fri 20 Aug 2010, 10:19, Reply)

They said:
The big let-down is Cage. Of all the moments for the Bad Lieutenant to unleash the wobbly hands and swimming eyeballs, a thousand year-old sorcerer in a bad hat was screaming for it. This is a CG-vamped panto harkening after a franchise, so why the moody weirdo routine? Johnny Depp won the day because he got the joke — that he was the joke. Cage, a potion or two from Leaving Las Magus, just puts emphasis on ALL the wrong WORDS. That’s not magic.
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 20 Aug 2010, 10:22, Reply)

Nice

( thealternativefact, Fri 20 Aug 2010, 10:25, Reply)

When I read the bad hat bit I thought of Kaol

( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 20 Aug 2010, 10:26, Reply)

He's always screaming for it.
'It' being a punch in the face.
( thealternativefact, Fri 20 Aug 2010, 10:28, Reply)

The Sorcerer's Apprentice?
I quite wanted to see that but Rotten Tomatoes slated it.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Fri 20 Aug 2010, 10:22, Reply)

it looks fucking awful

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 20 Aug 2010, 10:24, Reply)

It does
Watch Percy Jackson and the Lightening Thief, which is amazingly brilliantly bad
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 20 Aug 2010, 10:25, Reply)

I had been wondering what that was like
I'll have a look
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 20 Aug 2010, 10:28, Reply)

Percy is a hairdresser
trying to foil a plot to steal all his highlighter pastes.
( thealternativefact, Fri 20 Aug 2010, 10:29, Reply)

*snigger*

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 20 Aug 2010, 10:30, Reply)

just the sort of thing I like to watch

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 20 Aug 2010, 10:30, Reply)

tis true which is a shame as I read the books to year 1 and they were ace.

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Fri 20 Aug 2010, 10:28, Reply)

Go here
for excellent Indian food - the restaurant is housed in the old Bristol stock exchange & has the original interior:

www.tripadvisor.co.uk/Restaurant_Review-g186220-d733209-Reviews-Old_India-Bristol_England.html
(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Fri 20 Aug 2010, 10:11, Reply)

Fucking love Indian
That sounds like a top shout, as long as their vegetarian options are up to scratch. Going with Ms Foxtrot and both her sisters. All three are vegetarian. If there's a small methane cloud blocking out the sun over Bristol on Sunday, it's your fault
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 20 Aug 2010, 10:18, Reply)

Indian's are normally good for vegesexuals & I remember having some good side dishes so they should be fine
Drop you guts on the Clifton suspension bridge & the methane should drift out to sea.
(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Fri 20 Aug 2010, 10:28, Reply)

I'll have a very hard time persuading all of them not to fart until we get there
I'll ask the restaurant for some corks
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 20 Aug 2010, 10:31, Reply)

Who are you calling a 'fucking love Indian'?

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 20 Aug 2010, 11:26, Reply)

officelol

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 20 Aug 2010, 11:28, Reply)

Show off
I recently watched AvP again. I hadn't forgotten it was awesome, I'd just forgotten how awesome it was!
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 20 Aug 2010, 10:11, Reply)

I don't like people who say the AvP films are shit
I like them, they are exactly what they are, and if you don't like it I don't care
(Bret Mong Keys Eggs has wet his weapon, Fri 20 Aug 2010, 10:18, Reply)

the second one really is shit
it has nothing that make the other alien and predator films great.

I'm easily pleased by films too.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 20 Aug 2010, 10:25, Reply)

Mr Wolfs

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Fri 20 Aug 2010, 10:26, Reply)

Directions please Bobby
and a description would be good, the mind boggles as to the sort of thing a rampant pervert like you would enjoy
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 20 Aug 2010, 10:42, Reply)

sorry it was a very vague statement
It's a small music/noodle bar (not as weird) as it sounds. It's just off Corn Street in Bristol. I've played there a few times it's really good.
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Fri 20 Aug 2010, 10:45, Reply)

OK cheers mate
Decision-making will be completely out of my hands this weekend, more so than it usually is when I've just got the one member of this insanely competitive clan to handle, but I'll table it
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 20 Aug 2010, 10:51, Reply)

Hook up with some Bath Uni students
The posh ones are filthy, I speak from experience.
( Peej, Fri 20 Aug 2010, 10:37, Reply)

I agree with this. I used to work in the Crystal Palace pub in the abbey courtyard & it was an excellent recruitment site

(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Fri 20 Aug 2010, 10:40, Reply)

Hmm
I refer you to my earlier point about going there with my girlfriend and both of her sisters, one of whom is bigger than me. Plus the Uni term doesn't begin for another month or so. I think you were just trying to crowbar in a comment about having nailed a posh, filthy student. In which case, well played sir
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 20 Aug 2010, 10:41, Reply)

You get lots of american students over in the summer staying at the uni halls

(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Fri 20 Aug 2010, 10:44, Reply)

Three posh, filthy students
but hey ho I don't like to brag :P
( Peej, Fri 20 Aug 2010, 10:58, Reply)

There is a LIE in the above post
One of these statements is patently false

Annoyingly, I suspect it is the latter
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 20 Aug 2010, 11:11, Reply)

One of my mates sisters is going to bath uni,
she'd definatly get it.
(PsychoChomp, Fri 20 Aug 2010, 10:43, Reply)

If she was crying

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Fri 20 Aug 2010, 10:46, Reply)