just crap opening lines usually, but some are ridiculously crap
"i really like your car" (admittedly my best feature by quite some way)

"your eyes are amazing, are they real?" (no, silicon implants, clearly)

"you ever had taxi-driver boyfriend before?" (no, and still no)

"can you hold my pint in your cleavage?" (probably, actually)

not to mention almost daily on here:

"i ain't pandering to you, bitch" (transparent lies)
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 12:54, 2 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Good to see I've got a mention in that list.

(PsychoChomp, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 12:55, Reply)

which one were you again?
or should that be "which one was you?"

grammar-ache.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 12:56, Reply)

I used to be called BobbyPires.

(PsychoChomp, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 12:56, Reply)

nope sorry
i have no idea who you are
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 12:57, Reply)

www.b3ta.com/search/posts/22005?q=chompy
(PsychoChomp, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 13:00, Reply)

aaah yes, you're gonzo's boyfriend
i remember now
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 13:02, Reply)

You're her car?

( Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 12:56, Reply)

The only witty answer to that I can think of is so cheesy I can't bring myself to type it.

(PsychoChomp, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 13:03, Reply)

since when has that ever stopped you
or anyone else on here, to be fair
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 13:04, Reply)

I better than the rest of you.

(PsychoChomp, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 13:06, Reply)

you've just defined IRONY
in 7 short words.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 13:07, Reply)

I'VE GOT TWO POSTS ON BOTH THE OFFTOPIC AND TALK POPULAR PAGES

(PsychoChomp, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 13:12, Reply)

it's been a productive day for you, i see
shouty caps or not
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 13:17, Reply)

Is your dad a thief?
Because he stole the stars and put them in your eyes

Because I saw him nicking stuff from Asda earlier
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 12:56, Reply)

hey
less of the northerner bashing
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 12:57, Reply)

Ha!
One of my favourite false chat up lines. Sorry, couldn't resist.
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 13:00, Reply)

it's the last acceptable form of racism
fucking hell, i don't even sound that northern, yet there i was minding my own business in the pub last night when this local drunk just yelled "ACORN ANTIQUES" at me. as you can imagine i was pretty pissed off, but it did turn out he didn't mean i looked like one, or even like anyone in the programme. he just thought i sounded like victoria wood. UNIMPRESSED.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 13:03, Reply)

I honestly didn't mean it like that - didn't even know you were Northern
I heard it in the Midlands a while ago, and have only ever been past Stoke about 5 times.

We're both honorable Southern Fairies now though. I bet you drink shandy.
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 13:06, Reply)

noooo
champagne and vodka. sometimes together.

thanks!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 13:08, Reply)

The class really does just pour from you

(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 13:20, Reply)

into me, you mean
anyway, when are you coming to london?
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 13:22, Reply)

Probably end of next week for an interview
If successful, starting soon after.
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 13:38, Reply)

fingers, toes, arms, legs etc
crossed then.

not eyes, though. not a good look.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 14:02, Reply)

What
cocktails for 8 pounds a go? There's only a few places you could be and receive those kind of chat up lines.
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 13:30, Reply)