breaking news
NINETEEN prime rams were left in agony with mutilated genitalia following a malicious nightime attack.
The owner of the rams, Ballyhar farmer Patrick O'Keeffe, suffered shock and was rushed to Kerry General Hospital on Sunday morning following the discovery at his rented field at Sheersha, Faha. The animals were found cowering in the corner of the field, many with testicles swollen up to five times their original size following the castrations.


The rams, previously worth up to €400 each, are now fit only for factory fodder. Gardaí in Killarney have confirmed a full investigation into the incident.


"I'm devastated, I can't believe people could leave these animals suffering in such agony," said Mr O'Keeffe following his release from hospital. "I knew that a couple of the animals had swollen testicles on Saturday and I called the vet but I thought nothing of it. It was only when I went to investigate that I saw the extent of the damage."


Mr O'Keeffe is heavily reliant on income from his sheep stock and has estimated a total loss of €8,000. Rockfield-based vet Gerry Myers attended the scene on Sunday and said it was the worst he had ever witnessed.


"These animals were butchered. It was either very rushed or very amateurish as their genitals are ruined. These are prime two and threeyear-old rams and it would take up three men to carry out the attacks, first to catch them and then to use a burdizzo (castrating device)."


It is believed that the attacks took place either on Wednesday or Thursday night last.


An experienced farmer of over 30 years, Mr O'Keeffe has been involved in the sheep trade since he was 12 and regularly attends marts in Dingle, Kenmare and the Castletownbere area. He currently has 102 sheep and also owns a similarsized cattle herd.
(knackerz is skinning up, Fri 27 Aug 2010, 4:29, 33 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

What?

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 27 Aug 2010, 8:22, Reply)

yeah
What?
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Fri 27 Aug 2010, 8:23, Reply)

Why am I looking at your dog?

(Bazongaloid, Fri 27 Aug 2010, 8:26, Reply)

What?

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 27 Aug 2010, 8:29, Reply)

RIS?
I don't get it?
(Bazongaloid, Fri 27 Aug 2010, 8:32, Reply)

More RISon, more RISon, more RISon,
More RISon to shop at RIS.
I don't get it.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 27 Aug 2010, 8:33, Reply)

I don't get your boyfriend
since he started slipping you the bacon.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 27 Aug 2010, 8:35, Reply)

are you.....Bert?

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Fri 27 Aug 2010, 8:37, Reply)

Shut up Chompy.

(Bazongaloid, Fri 27 Aug 2010, 8:39, Reply)

touche.

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Fri 27 Aug 2010, 8:41, Reply)

At least he doesn't slip me the Frazzles.

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 27 Aug 2010, 8:44, Reply)

You loved a bit of crunchy wheat goodness

(Bazongaloid, Fri 27 Aug 2010, 8:45, Reply)

You were totally making suggestive moaning noises while I did it.

(Bazongaloid, Fri 27 Aug 2010, 8:45, Reply)

Was I mooing?

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 27 Aug 2010, 8:47, Reply)

I don't have a dog.
Well, I kind of do, but she doesn't really belong to me since I moved out. Why are you looking at her?
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Fri 27 Aug 2010, 8:30, Reply)

Because I'm in your bedroom
with your dog.

Looking at it.

And touching myself.

I can't wait for you to come home.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 27 Aug 2010, 8:32, Reply)

ok that's weird.
Because either you're in my bedroom having mistaken my rat for a dog.

Or you're in my mum's bedroom actually stroking my dog.

She's lovely, she's a whippet called Mitzi (the dog, not my mum).
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Fri 27 Aug 2010, 8:36, Reply)

Maybe, just maybe
I'm so fat, that I'm actually in both places. Stroking your rat with one had and your dog with the other.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 27 Aug 2010, 8:39, Reply)

It's plausible I suppose
in Soviet Russia rat strokes you.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Fri 27 Aug 2010, 8:42, Reply)

Your rat has a very soft touch it's true

(Bazongaloid, Fri 27 Aug 2010, 8:43, Reply)

he does, doesn't he!
He cleans himself 277 times a day and I feed him almonds and pine nuts for a glossy coat.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Fri 27 Aug 2010, 8:51, Reply)

Thanks for this HOT update.

( Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Fri 27 Aug 2010, 8:36, Reply)

This has delivered nothing but disappointment this morning
I thought it might at least have some sort of reasonable pun at the end of it, but instead it just appears to be a strange/boring/shit news story.


Oh, and lots of line breaks.


Double line breaks in fact.


Do not like. 0/10.
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Fri 27 Aug 2010, 8:46, Reply)

There's NOTHING in the news about it
I think it is a disturbing work of fiction.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 27 Aug 2010, 8:47, Reply)

Well I did check a couple of sites
And found nothing about it. This led me to think there may be a pun hidden in it. I was wrong, and disappointed.
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Fri 27 Aug 2010, 8:48, Reply)

I don't understand
why would someone make that up?

or why would they post it, even if they hadn't?

unless they are trying to flush out a culprit.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 27 Aug 2010, 9:01, Reply)

it's true
I just thought it was WTF? news, worthy of OT..

oh well, carry on. If you wan't to spend 3.50 euro, you can read it on the website. www.kerryman.ie/premium/news/rams-castrated-in-dead-of-night-2310525.html
(knackerz is skinning up, Fri 27 Aug 2010, 9:02, Reply)

Can you show us a link
I'm not doubting you now, but I can't find a thing on it, which scared me a bit.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 27 Aug 2010, 9:03, Reply)

fair enough
I find news sites where you have to pay to be outrageous.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 27 Aug 2010, 9:06, Reply)

I like being outrageous for free

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Fri 27 Aug 2010, 9:39, Reply)

YES!

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Fri 27 Aug 2010, 10:23, Reply)

Love the Irish pricing.
Articles 3.50 Euros.
7day acces 0.99 Euros.
How does that work? Or am I being dense as usual?
(porkylips looks better as the sun goes down., Fri 27 Aug 2010, 9:49, Reply)

not Irish pricing
but Kerry pricing. The world have Irish jokes, and the Irish have Kerry jokes.
(knackerz is skinning up, Fri 27 Aug 2010, 16:53, Reply)