try not to sound too dismissive of things she likes
I know it's exaggerated on here, but I actually broke up with a guy for saying that everything was shit. I would say "where do you want to go for lunch? Subway?"
"Subway's shit"
"Ok, how about the cafe in the shopping centre"
"the cafe's shit"
"o..k..how about we go and get something from Tesco and eat it in the park?"
"Tesco is shit. The park's shit".

He was like that about everything, it was exhausting.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 9 Sep 2010, 15:58, 1 reply, 16 years ago)

I thought one was supposed to 'be oneself'?

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 9 Sep 2010, 15:59, Reply)

you have to trick them first
into thinking you are a normal well-balanced person.

Once they are ensnared, that is when you release the crazy. Take a lesson from ANY WOMAN EVER!
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 9 Sep 2010, 16:00, Reply)

This is so true.
I cannot stress how true this is.

Do you think Wiggy thought I was a lazy, high maintenance shitehawk when he met me? No, he thought "this is the woman I've been waiting for, she's so balanced and devoid of psychosis, her flat is so clean and tidy, she hasn't once mentioned mayonnaise".
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 9 Sep 2010, 16:03, Reply)

I've just noticed your sig *prouds*

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 9 Sep 2010, 16:05, Reply)

It well made me laugh
and I think it's top of popular as well :D
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 9 Sep 2010, 16:05, Reply)

it's the best insult I've seen in a while

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 9 Sep 2010, 16:07, Reply)

ugh don't encourage him on his first day back
*shakes fist at LAAK*

Oh LAAK is my name for lampito, applebite, amberl and kitty. You're all pretty interchangable in my mind. No offense like.
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 9 Sep 2010, 16:07, Reply)

Your face is interchangable
You are Mrs Potatohead AICMFP.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 9 Sep 2010, 16:08, Reply)

Oh man I'd love to have an interchangable face
I'd get a big steel spike and then ram it through your smug gurning face
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 9 Sep 2010, 16:09, Reply)

You should do it
It's the only chance of nailing me you'll ever have
*black woman finger clicks and head bobs*
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 9 Sep 2010, 16:11, Reply)

This is cruel TGB
can't you tell me apart by my poledancing?
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Thu 9 Sep 2010, 16:12, Reply)

:D

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 9 Sep 2010, 16:13, Reply)

I honestly don't know if you are in the poledancing brigade or not
I hope you're not and you're being sarcastic because then I may upgrade you out of the pack
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 9 Sep 2010, 16:14, Reply)

I don't poledance haha
So do I get my upgrade?
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Thu 9 Sep 2010, 16:16, Reply)

You're on a provisional upgrade

( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 9 Sep 2010, 16:28, Reply)

oi!
stop dissing my poledancing. I'll have you know it's very empowering.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 9 Sep 2010, 16:22, Reply)

stop dissing my vagina. I'll have you know it's very engulfing

( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 9 Sep 2010, 16:27, Reply)

I heard that when you uncross your legs it's like a total eclipse.

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 9 Sep 2010, 16:36, Reply)

That would make the best transformer ever
Shagmyarse Prime
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Thu 9 Sep 2010, 16:13, Reply)

Lampito doesn't do that
*pointed silence*
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 9 Sep 2010, 16:15, Reply)

All girls do that you just need to know the magic words

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Thu 9 Sep 2010, 16:16, Reply)

Does this smell of chloroform to you?

( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Thu 9 Sep 2010, 16:17, Reply)

I was thinking more along the lines of
please please please, I'll do anything, I'll buy you anything please please please.
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Thu 9 Sep 2010, 16:18, Reply)

"I'll buy you those shoes you always bang on about"?

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 9 Sep 2010, 16:17, Reply)

here's a man that knows.

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Thu 9 Sep 2010, 16:18, Reply)

no no
that's what his girlfriend said to him
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 9 Sep 2010, 16:21, Reply)

Very nice shoes they are too

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 9 Sep 2010, 16:22, Reply)

Able to walk yet?

( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 9 Sep 2010, 16:26, Reply)

there's a breaking in joke here
but I'm off home so laters.
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Thu 9 Sep 2010, 16:27, Reply)

They haven't been delivered yet
The shop said they'd have to order in the "tranny sizes".
Oh, you weren't talking about the shoes...
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 9 Sep 2010, 16:27, Reply)

Don't laugh at my 3 nevers.

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Thu 9 Sep 2010, 16:30, Reply)

I already have
remember?
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 9 Sep 2010, 16:32, Reply)

I'm glad that was never on open board.
DON'T YOU DARE
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Thu 9 Sep 2010, 16:34, Reply)

I promised I wouldn't
I'm a man of my word.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 9 Sep 2010, 16:38, Reply)

Special move
The FACE PUNCH
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 9 Sep 2010, 16:15, Reply)

nah it would need to involve the pole.

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Thu 9 Sep 2010, 16:17, Reply)

I can swing right around it and boot people in the face if that helps

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 9 Sep 2010, 16:22, Reply)

name it and it's your signature move.

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Thu 9 Sep 2010, 16:24, Reply)

it's called KITTY SMASH!

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 9 Sep 2010, 16:28, Reply)

that's the one
you wouldn't like me when I'm angry.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 9 Sep 2010, 16:34, Reply)

I don't like you no matter your mood.

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 9 Sep 2010, 16:38, Reply)

:(
I has a sad now
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 9 Sep 2010, 16:44, Reply)

lollerskates jk
You're alright, you *punches your arm*.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 9 Sep 2010, 16:45, Reply)

I managed to invent a pole move, it's called the Raptor Run
it involves running around the pole until I'm effectively spinning horizontally. It's not sexy.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 9 Sep 2010, 16:35, Reply)

Beware.

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Thu 9 Sep 2010, 16:30, Reply)

*cringes*

(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Thu 9 Sep 2010, 16:39, Reply)

You've had your allocation of punch

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Thu 9 Sep 2010, 16:45, Reply)

Punchmaster has plenty of punch to go around!
Punchmaster!
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 9 Sep 2010, 16:47, Reply)

I'm gonna interchange your face with my fist
you giant bevadged harridan!
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 9 Sep 2010, 16:13, Reply)

One point for bevadged

( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 9 Sep 2010, 16:15, Reply)

do I not get a point for taking what you said and adding 'your face'?

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 9 Sep 2010, 16:23, Reply)

no
Only lab gets points for that.

oh LAB LAAAAB!
JAYKAY SAYS DANCE!
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 9 Sep 2010, 16:26, Reply)

Ok, so I just looked around the office
Everyone's busy, so did a little chairdance.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 9 Sep 2010, 16:28, Reply)

YAY
:D

I said the jaykay thing the other day and then realised you were the only one who would get it
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 9 Sep 2010, 16:29, Reply)

And you felt dirty for thinking about me, I know
I missed you too.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 9 Sep 2010, 16:30, Reply)

I'll have to cardance by myself next week :(

( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 9 Sep 2010, 16:31, Reply)

Serves you right for going there Thursday
I can't take the Friday off, so will be leaving work at 3:30pm. I'll be car dancing, although it will feel lonely and sad.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 9 Sep 2010, 16:32, Reply)

I have thursday off too
I may go get my hair cut
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 9 Sep 2010, 16:45, Reply)

Do it.
I like that thing you did with it that one time.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 9 Sep 2010, 16:48, Reply)

You get to see my sexy boots too
(see how I am pretending you'll make it)
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 9 Sep 2010, 16:48, Reply)

Woo and yay
Although I'm upset you didn't fall for my setup.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 9 Sep 2010, 16:50, Reply)

When I had ridiculous lesbian hair in edinburgh?

( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 9 Sep 2010, 16:52, Reply)

No, because I also prefer it when you hadn't straightened it and it was all curly and you sulked.
In my head, the exchange went
Me: I like that thing you did with it that one time.
You: What thing, what time?
Me: That one time you styled it.
*highfives all 'round*
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 9 Sep 2010, 16:58, Reply)

OOOH INJOKES
fuck you both.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 9 Sep 2010, 16:34, Reply)

Fuck off to your injoke yacht, with your injoke lover then
YEAH!
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 9 Sep 2010, 16:39, Reply)

Can I be the first to shout
CLIQUE! ?
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Thu 9 Sep 2010, 16:43, Reply)

shut up or I'll get the clique on you.

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 9 Sep 2010, 16:45, Reply)

whatever LAK

( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 9 Sep 2010, 16:46, Reply)

Shut it you, The Giant Bevadged

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 9 Sep 2010, 16:56, Reply)

that's neither a clique nor an in-joke
real feelings people. REAL FEELINGS
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 9 Sep 2010, 16:52, Reply)

They just don't understand our love do they?

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 9 Sep 2010, 16:55, Reply)

I saw some cracking yachts on holiday
What are you after, traditional sailing boat, or sleek wave-slicing techno yacht?
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 9 Sep 2010, 16:57, Reply)

oyster 66

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 9 Sep 2010, 16:58, Reply)

I'm amazed
Astonished, even, with the swiftness and precision of your reply.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 9 Sep 2010, 16:59, Reply)

I can actually sail
and have a reasonably wide knowledge of yachts

it serves no purpose other than to astonish the unsuspecting.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 9 Sep 2010, 17:02, Reply)

*doffs cap*

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 9 Sep 2010, 17:03, Reply)

*reciprocates*

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 9 Sep 2010, 17:07, Reply)

why would they?
they are all cold, soulless, loveless husks
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 9 Sep 2010, 16:57, Reply)

Poem for you
you do realise that thanks to TGB
confess your love for Kitty,
and for the price of one get three
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Thu 9 Sep 2010, 17:16, Reply)

I don't understand your poem

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 9 Sep 2010, 17:17, Reply)

I'm going to put it at the bottom of the page
so it has actual linebreaks
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Thu 9 Sep 2010, 17:23, Reply)

Well it's on there, so I'm preening
And yes, women do exactly as Vipros describes. The ones who do a slow release of crazy are the ones who managed to fully ensnare their victims. It's a lot like boiling a frog.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 9 Sep 2010, 16:07, Reply)

that is exactly it
I swear Mrs V was taller when we were getting together as well
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 9 Sep 2010, 16:08, Reply)

Ever heard of heels?

( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 9 Sep 2010, 16:10, Reply)

no
and anyway, she didn't wear heels. Doesn't much now either.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 9 Sep 2010, 16:10, Reply)

is that because you're secretly a pygmy?

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 9 Sep 2010, 16:14, Reply)

yes
a 6'2" pygmy
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 9 Sep 2010, 16:15, Reply)

The rarest of the pygmies

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 9 Sep 2010, 16:24, Reply)

*vigorous handshake, with extra hand on the elbow*

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 9 Sep 2010, 16:03, Reply)

*reciprocates*

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 9 Sep 2010, 16:06, Reply)

In your case
I strongly advise against it. You'll have more luck being more like Chompy or Moaty.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 9 Sep 2010, 16:01, Reply)

good luck getting date number 2
YOU MISERABLE FUCK.

Although I suppose she already knows what you're like, she might be like that too. So she'll say "do you want to watch this film?" and you'll go "nah..." and then you'll both say in unison "IT'S SHIT!" and fall about laughing.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 9 Sep 2010, 16:01, Reply)