I woz 'ere
But now I've gone.
I'll leave my name
To turn you on.
ROOTA.

Best graffiti you've ever seen?
Alt q: What have I done with the real Roota? This one keeps doing work and that. Gotta go. Maybe laters.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 14 Sep 2010, 7:52, 98 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

Morning.
I'm too tired to answer either question.

Wasn't there a QOTW about graffiti?
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 14 Sep 2010, 7:55, Reply)

Problee

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 14 Sep 2010, 8:15, Reply)

Here I sit
broken hearted
paid 2p
and only farted.
( girlinthehole, Tue 14 Sep 2010, 7:56, Reply)

:D

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 14 Sep 2010, 8:15, Reply)

My mother made me a homosexual.
If I get her the wool will she make me one?
(porkylips looks better as the sun goes down., Tue 14 Sep 2010, 8:06, Reply)

Eh?

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 14 Sep 2010, 8:15, Reply)

Two different bits of graffiti.
From back when psychological thinking was that parental nurturing determined personality.
(porkylips looks better as the sun goes down., Tue 14 Sep 2010, 8:35, Reply)

quite spoilt being in Bristol as we get loads of them trying to be the next banksy
but this is my fave www.bristol-street-art.co.uk/gallery/photo/english-heretic-ghostboy

alt Q: making money to buy me toys?
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 14 Sep 2010, 8:30, Reply)

Morning Bob.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 14 Sep 2010, 8:36, Reply)

good skating story my friend you should have swiped his deck
I can't get out of bed.
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 14 Sep 2010, 8:41, Reply)

I like that

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 14 Sep 2010, 9:18, Reply)

I bought some flesh tunnels on-line and got two free jelly beans with my order.
Now that is good customer service.
( girlinthehole, Tue 14 Sep 2010, 8:39, Reply)

loose jelly beans?
could be a careless packer
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 14 Sep 2010, 8:42, Reply)

Careless packer?
www.youtube.com/watch?v=bZcwPDVfzdw

There you go. One careless packer.

Of the fudge variety.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 14 Sep 2010, 8:47, Reply)

my poor fucking eyes and ears god man why?

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 14 Sep 2010, 8:55, Reply)

Bet you got a lob on watching it.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 14 Sep 2010, 9:02, Reply)

nah made me want a spliff for a breakfast

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 14 Sep 2010, 9:13, Reply)

thanks for spoiling my morning with that fat talentless cottaging mincer

(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Tue 14 Sep 2010, 9:17, Reply)

I'm here every morning?

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 14 Sep 2010, 9:39, Reply)

I see you're going against my sagent advice
damn you
( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Tue 14 Sep 2010, 8:54, Reply)

I had already decided.
I was just provoking debate.
( girlinthehole, Tue 14 Sep 2010, 9:01, Reply)

Nobody listens to me = ((
I'm like a candle in the wind
( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Tue 14 Sep 2010, 9:09, Reply)

Never fading with the sunset when the rain sets in?

( girlinthehole, Tue 14 Sep 2010, 9:13, Reply)

That's the one

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Tue 14 Sep 2010, 9:19, Reply)

sage or cogent?
no making up your own words...
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Tue 14 Sep 2010, 10:15, Reply)

Ooo!
Who did you order from? I buy from Arka mostly, they're great for bone/wood/stone plugs and tunnels.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 14 Sep 2010, 9:32, Reply)

Kazza is a lezza.
I just though you should know in case you find yourself in the playground near the pitch & putt golf course in Hornsea and wish to either indulge in/particularly avoid a bit of lezzing, then keep an eye out for Kazza.

This has been a public service posting.
(Cave Duck, Tue 14 Sep 2010, 8:52, Reply)

Forewarned is forearmed.

( girlinthehole, Tue 14 Sep 2010, 9:01, Reply)

With regard to "the word on the street", I'm like a white, fat, badly dressed Huggy Bear.
(Cave Duck, Tue 14 Sep 2010, 9:19, Reply)

Gibby is poof
Gibby, referred to a housing scheme that was called 'The Gibby', so the vandal in question was trying to call all of the inhabitants of said housing scheme, gay.
(Cancer Joy was short lived, Tue 14 Sep 2010, 8:54, Reply)

M Khan is bent.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 14 Sep 2010, 8:55, Reply)

"jeff woz ere and he fucked my dog"

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 14 Sep 2010, 8:57, Reply)

I resemble that remark.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 14 Sep 2010, 9:02, Reply)

resemble?

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 14 Sep 2010, 9:14, Reply)

are you long thin and black?

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 14 Sep 2010, 9:14, Reply)

Yes, Jeff - 'resemble'?

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 14 Sep 2010, 9:15, Reply)

Down with the fascist Shah of Iran
to which some wag added

's trousers
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 14 Sep 2010, 8:59, Reply)

Or, in Rome on a sign
'St Peter's Square'

to which (again) some wag had added

'Daddio'
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 14 Sep 2010, 9:01, Reply)

In 2 different sets of handwriting
I fucked your Mum

Go home dad you're drunk
(bill, Tue 14 Sep 2010, 9:13, Reply)

That's very good.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 14 Sep 2010, 9:16, Reply)

Apparantly quite prolific
I posted it to the graffiti question and got mocked for it being commonplace.
(bill, Tue 14 Sep 2010, 9:25, Reply)

in the cubicle in the gents in my local
"Jasper Carrot wants to bum you"
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 14 Sep 2010, 9:17, Reply)

He seems quite bummable
You could sell the story to 'news of the world' as a bonus
( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Tue 14 Sep 2010, 9:21, Reply)

unfortunately it's almost been obliterated by other, more shit graffiti
although there is an excellent drawing of a Fu Manchu type character
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 14 Sep 2010, 9:24, Reply)

Leake St in London
used to have this, not sure if it's still there:


(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Tue 14 Sep 2010, 9:20, Reply)

Class

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Tue 14 Sep 2010, 9:22, Reply)

The finger bang king

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Tue 14 Sep 2010, 9:26, Reply)

I know loads of graffiti writers
A friend of mine once dedicated his Christmas train to me (they all go mad on Xmas Day because no trains are running and the yards are not manned) - it read 'Mr Big' and was written in body parts, the 'B' of 'Big' was a pair of breasts and the 'G' was a cock and hairy bollocks. I have photos at home and were I more techno-savyy I would scan and upload it. I'm very proud.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 14 Sep 2010, 9:27, Reply)

"would can and upload" - interesting.

(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Tue 14 Sep 2010, 9:29, Reply)

Ah. you edited as I was posting.

(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Tue 14 Sep 2010, 9:30, Reply)

Prove it.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 14 Sep 2010, 9:32, Reply)

what are you having for lunch?

(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Tue 14 Sep 2010, 9:34, Reply)

What are you having for lunch THIS WEEKEND?

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 14 Sep 2010, 9:34, Reply)

Pheasant braised in beer, thyme & honey with celeriac mash probably

(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Tue 14 Sep 2010, 9:36, Reply)

*wanks uncontrollably*
Christ I love game season.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 14 Sep 2010, 9:38, Reply)

It is the best.
I would love to cook the tudor receipe where you stuff about 8 different game one inside the next. Expensive & very difficult to cook I imagine.
(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Tue 14 Sep 2010, 9:40, Reply)

I've looked into it.
You need a fucking big oven, and I imagine the outer bird would need a shitload of bacon or grease on it.

There are similar recipes going back to the Romans.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 14 Sep 2010, 9:44, Reply)

You need your eyes tested mate.
*shifty look*
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 14 Sep 2010, 9:30, Reply)

"have your eyes ever been checked? No they've always been brown"
(c) Spike Milligan RIP.
(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Tue 14 Sep 2010, 9:32, Reply)

I love Milligan's wit
but find it very hard to watch footage of him because he was so fragile. I really find it upsetting.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 14 Sep 2010, 9:36, Reply)

Yeah. Did you read the interview with his daughter in the Guardian on Saturday? Very insightful.
His war memoirs are some of the best books I have ever read.
(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Tue 14 Sep 2010, 9:38, Reply)

I didn't. I wonder if that's online - I shall look.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 14 Sep 2010, 9:39, Reply)

www.guardian.co.uk/lifeandstyle/2010/sep/11/spike-milligan-dad-daughter-jane
(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Tue 14 Sep 2010, 9:41, Reply)

Ta!

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 14 Sep 2010, 9:44, Reply)

YAY Nadal won the tennis
Although I spent fooking ages finding somewhere streaming it on line and then it RAINED so I missed everything after the first set and a half.

Monty: I hate tennis it's dull like you
TGB: That's not very nice Monty
Monty: Your posts are dull and shit and you deserve it
TGB: oh... oh ok Monty I'm very sorry. I'm going to go now *sniff*
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 14 Sep 2010, 9:27, Reply)

You think 'YAY Nadal won the tennis'
is the best graffiti you've seen? Do you live in a fucking cave on a deserted island?
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 14 Sep 2010, 9:28, Reply)

We had an entire question of graffiti
Or are you endorsing repeated questions now?

WHAT ARE YOU DOING AT THE WEEKEND MONTY!?
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 14 Sep 2010, 9:30, Reply)

HAVING LUNCH.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 14 Sep 2010, 9:34, Reply)

ARE YOU GOING TO HAVE SOME SMALL CHOCOLATE BAR THAT WAS ON OFFER?
MAYBE A KITKAT?
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 14 Sep 2010, 9:35, Reply)

I'M HAVING A 'BLUE RIBAND'
and a Tunnock's Tea Cake.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 14 Sep 2010, 9:37, Reply)

JAFFA CAKES ARE THEY ACTUALLY CAKES OR BISCUITS?

(PsychoChomp, Tue 14 Sep 2010, 9:39, Reply)

surely everyone knows the answer to this now?

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 14 Sep 2010, 9:42, Reply)

and surely nobody cares - it's not like it makes a difference to if you enjoy them or not

(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Tue 14 Sep 2010, 9:45, Reply)

THE TAX OFFICE CARES.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 14 Sep 2010, 9:47, Reply)

VAT?

(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Tue 14 Sep 2010, 9:51, Reply)

Yeah, they're biscuits.

(PsychoChomp, Tue 14 Sep 2010, 9:46, Reply)

no they're cakes

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 14 Sep 2010, 9:50, Reply)

And where the fuck have you been?
I was starting to think you were one of Bert's logins, despite our being offline chums.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 14 Sep 2010, 9:45, Reply)

I was moving into my NEW FLAT
for the weekend, now I've got to use my time at work to apply for a new job.
(PsychoChomp, Tue 14 Sep 2010, 9:47, Reply)

Get you and your dynamic life.
EDIT How is the flat?

Better or worse than the old one - and any news on the old one saga?
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 14 Sep 2010, 9:48, Reply)

No news on the old place.
The new one is almost exactly the same with a nicer bathroom and kitchen.
(PsychoChomp, Tue 14 Sep 2010, 9:51, Reply)

I quite like blue ribands
Haven't had one for a while
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 14 Sep 2010, 9:47, Reply)

Complain to mum.
Maybe she'll put one in, instead of your Munch Bunch yoghurt tomorrow?
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 14 Sep 2010, 9:48, Reply)

Haha!

( girlinthehole, Tue 14 Sep 2010, 9:53, Reply)

She didn't even make me a lunch today :(
Just gave me 50p
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 14 Sep 2010, 9:56, Reply)

always on offer in Somerfield. One cash strapped month I lived on them and bovril on toast.

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 14 Sep 2010, 9:49, Reply)

Made you the man you are today
(a bit odd)
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 14 Sep 2010, 9:51, Reply)

I think that was the month I lived
on jif mirco liquid.
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 14 Sep 2010, 9:53, Reply)

I bet your bowel was spotless that month. Even under the rim.

(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Tue 14 Sep 2010, 9:54, Reply)

First 'lol' of my day goes to you.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 14 Sep 2010, 9:55, Reply)

If she lived in a cave on a deserted island...
...how would she know the tennis result from yesterday?

Huh? huh?
(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Tue 14 Sep 2010, 9:49, Reply)

I don't know about 'best'
but in Granada someone had sprayed a load of tiny Banksy-style ninja's, all over the city. It was fun spotting them in really improbable places. Well, it gave me a giggle anyway.
(berk, Tue 14 Sep 2010, 9:30, Reply)

"Jesus is Just"
To which someone added "a cute, bearded jewboy in a loincloth."
(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Tue 14 Sep 2010, 9:47, Reply)

Physics department, level 3, gents' toilets, cubicle nearest the door
People have taken to etching puns into the grouting, e.g.,
"Grout Expectations"
"We can work it grout"
"Diffraction Grouting"
I'm sure I'll remember more in due course...
(LongJohnBaldry, Tue 14 Sep 2010, 10:03, Reply)

Best graffit ever
Was in Paris in 1985. An artist had used stencils to spray human shaped shadows on the embankments around the Notre Dame area.
According to the guide they were at locations where the Gestapo had rounded up locals and shot them before chucking the bodies in the river.
True or not it was quite thought-provoking.
There were loads of them.
(porkylips looks better as the sun goes down., Tue 14 Sep 2010, 10:26, Reply)

Did you add a badly drawn cock for full comedic effect?

(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Tue 14 Sep 2010, 10:30, Reply)

If only. We were on a Battow Mooch.

(porkylips looks better as the sun goes down., Tue 14 Sep 2010, 10:46, Reply)

I didn't see this one but
in uni some girl had written a screed on a cubicle wall about how she thought she was pregnant and was really scared and didn't know who to turn to. Lots of people scrawled numbers of helplines and supportive messages. One wag decided to helpfully add "oh shit, it could be twins!"
(Zoz prayed for twink on, Tue 14 Sep 2010, 10:42, Reply)