I haz a sad...
...or maybe it should be I haz disgust.

Some may remember my descriptions of my creepy next door neighbor whom I've christened The Choad. Well, things finally reached a sort of climax.

A couple of months ago my daughter wanted to build a fire in the backyard fireplace for a friend of hers and her to photograph for a school project. I was out of town at the time, but her brother was home and is an adult, so I gave permission. Apparently no sooner had she lit it than The Choad came out and told her it was against the law and if she put one more piece of wood on there he was calling the cops.

She called me, rather upset, and I assured her that there was nothing that he could really do as the fireplace and its use is completely legal, and to go ahead with it. There were no further problems and no cops were called, but it still pissed me off.

When I returned home I found him walking his dog and confronted him. The quote that apparently was most memorable- and the line that really set him off- was "You waited until I was out of town to harass my seventeen year old daughter! You are a bully and a coward, sir!" (This was said in my best Victorian drill sergeant voice, I might add.)

He yelled back, "You don't fucking talk to me like that! I don't have to listen to your shit! I oughta come over there and fucking knock you down!"

This was said in front of my neighbors across the street and their small children.

Well, here in the Land of Nabs saying such things publicly is a misdemeanor, especially when coupled with a threat. So this morning he had to appear in court, as did I, and explain himself. The result: he was fine $100 and told that such language was not acceptable.

I don't feel happy or victorious, just irritated and rather sad. All I really want is to be allowed to enjoy my own yard in peace without him standing by the fence glaring at us for a half an hour or letting his dog bay at us. Hopefully this will at least send him the message that being obnoxious carries a price...
( The Resident Loon Not a demographic. Do not measure., Tue 14 Sep 2010, 21:36, 27 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

I think it's actually quite good that you can get a small fine and a slapped wrist for being an anti-social cunt to your neighbours
lord knows some of the fuckers my parents lived next to over the years could have done with it.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 14 Sep 2010, 21:38, Reply)

It has to be under pretty specific circumstances.
In truth I figured that he'd blow his top, but I figured it would only be in front of adults. I was pretty angry, but knew that I could provoke him into doing something actionable. Curse and Abuse is a nice one if you know that you can pull it off in front of witnesses- I just had to get him to explode at the right moment. And similarly, I curbed my own language- I was harsh and angry and insulting, but within the confines of the law.

The neighbors are rather pleased with the outcome, I might add. He's been a thorn in their sides for years.
( The Resident Loon Not a demographic. Do not measure., Tue 14 Sep 2010, 21:43, Reply)

sounds like you handled it well
good job
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 14 Sep 2010, 21:45, Reply)

I wish he would handle me well too

(Bazongaloid, Tue 14 Sep 2010, 21:46, Reply)

sauce!

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 14 Sep 2010, 21:47, Reply)

you seem to have the horn this evening

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 14 Sep 2010, 21:51, Reply)

Mrs al is making a cake for her birthday
I'm going to get her one for her actual birthday.
(Bazongaloid, Tue 14 Sep 2010, 21:57, Reply)

get give
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Tue 14 Sep 2010, 22:13, Reply)

i just assumed it was a typo

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 14 Sep 2010, 22:16, Reply)

*bows*
Actually I kinda felt like Raffles the Gentleman Thug calling him out like that. It almost seemed like I should have been throwing a glove on the ground or something.

That said, being in the courtroom this morning just felt sad. It was like outwitting a mong, ya know? I hope the lesson was learned, because I'd rather not do this again.
( The Resident Loon Not a demographic. Do not measure., Tue 14 Sep 2010, 21:48, Reply)

Well played sir
Some people need to learn that they cannot behave like cunts without suffering consequences.
(Zoz prayed for twink on, Tue 14 Sep 2010, 21:53, Reply)

Indeed.
He's actually somewhat well-known in this city, as he used to own one of the popular bars back in the 80s. But he's definitely unhinged, as my neighbor put it, and hopefully this will be sufficient to get him to control himself a bit better.

I'm not sure, but I think his wife has been keeping her heel on him pretty hard because he's been remarkably quiet and absent ever since we had our row in the street.
( The Resident Loon Not a demographic. Do not measure., Tue 14 Sep 2010, 22:08, Reply)

The poor woman
she's probably petrified that he'll pick a fight with the wrong person some day. One of my relatives went through a phase like that, being very paranoid and increasingly ready to become antagonistic with whoever they thought had wronged them. We were all worried that they'd hurt someone, be hurt themselves as a consequence, and maybe wind up sectioned.
(Zoz prayed for twink on, Tue 14 Sep 2010, 22:43, Reply)

I'm sure of that.
When it happened I watched him stomp off to his house with his dogs, and moments later I could hear him screaming in rage at someone in there. I'm pretty sure that she read him the riot act for getting out of control, because he's been rather scarce ever since- in fact, I think last night he spent the night elsewhere, as I saw him drive off and he hadn't returned by the time I went to bed.

I get the feeling that she's whipping him into line very hard.
( The Resident Loon Not a demographic. Do not measure., Tue 14 Sep 2010, 23:42, Reply)

You can here, too
I'm not exactly Ironside, but I think assault is classed as the threat of violence. That can be interpreted as abusive language and threatening behaviour. You can get somebody under civil law for it, I think. Then there's breach of the peace and so on.

I expect the most that'll happen is a word in the ear and maybe an ASBO, but it should embarrass.
( Kroney, Wed 15 Sep 2010, 6:35, Reply)

God dammit, not only are you horrifically good looking
but you've got a razor sharp legal mind to boot.

I hate you.


It's not true, I love you really.
(Bazongaloid, Tue 14 Sep 2010, 21:45, Reply)

Nah, I just happened to know of that one.
I knew someone else who had been charged with that a few years ago. I never would have thought that cussin' someone out would be legally actionable, but there ya go. I have to admit that I had pretty much planned it out, but was unhappy that there were kids present. That part I would rather have avoided.
( The Resident Loon Not a demographic. Do not measure., Tue 14 Sep 2010, 21:52, Reply)

I stopped reading after 17 year old daughter.

(PsychoChomp, Tue 14 Sep 2010, 21:50, Reply)

Just as well.
Were you to encounter her and leer, you might find your testicles removed with a rusty spoon. (She actually threatened that once to someone last summer and terrified her co-workers.)

I have to admit, I'm rather proud of her for that one.
( The Resident Loon Not a demographic. Do not measure., Tue 14 Sep 2010, 21:54, Reply)

and started plotting.

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 14 Sep 2010, 22:51, Reply)

tl;dr
I've had an utterly shit night had a fight with my mum so need cheering up
Please
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 14 Sep 2010, 22:35, Reply)

made me smile anyway
youtu.be/26lj9pmKUV8
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 14 Sep 2010, 22:54, Reply)

Makes I laaf
www.youtube.com/watch?v=xmnLRVWgnXU

www.youtube.com/watch?v=KN-8G0HCD5U
(Zoz prayed for twink on, Tue 14 Sep 2010, 23:14, Reply)

Who won?

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 14 Sep 2010, 23:30, Reply)

Here ya go.
www.youtube.com/watch?v=EUm7DEC_lls (NSFW)

If that doesn't do it, check out the Blue Man Group: www.youtube.com/watch?v=vyL09hTLOls
( The Resident Loon Not a demographic. Do not measure., Tue 14 Sep 2010, 23:31, Reply)

Don't understand why you didn't just lay him out.

(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Tue 14 Sep 2010, 23:09, Reply)

Tempting though that might be
hitting him would have gotten me charged with assault and battery and might have landed me in jail. Sometimes it's better to wind someone up and let them do something stupid on their own.

In truth what really bothers me about the whole damn thing is that it feels a bit like getting a mong to punch themselves in the face. I had a battle of wits with an unarmed person. I was punching far below my weight in this matter.
( The Resident Loon Not a demographic. Do not measure., Tue 14 Sep 2010, 23:26, Reply)