At a kids' party on Sunday...
one mum told another she had solved the problem of getting stains out of her child's clothes.
'I just don't let 'er 'ave red food no more.'
( thealternativefact, Wed 15 Sep 2010, 8:56, 1 reply, 15 years ago)

Top quality parenting right there.
It's always best to wrap them head-to-toe in pallet wrap, just in case.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Wed 15 Sep 2010, 8:57, Reply)

And so another eating disorder was born.

( thealternativefact, Wed 15 Sep 2010, 9:00, Reply)

"Now remember kids, if you eat anything red, you'll die!"
"And this is coming from your old friend Vomito, the bulimic clown!"

*laughs*
*tumbles*
*cries*
*vomits*
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 15 Sep 2010, 9:03, Reply)

Noel's idea is top notch.
Much better than having to avoid tomatoes, red peppers and curries.
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Wed 15 Sep 2010, 9:03, Reply)

Her red food list was:
baked beans, strawberries and ketchup.
( thealternativefact, Wed 15 Sep 2010, 9:05, Reply)

HA the stupid cunt
beans aren't red, they're orange.
(Bazongaloid, Wed 15 Sep 2010, 9:06, Reply)

As you can imagine, she didn't seem too bright.
/judges
( thealternativefact, Wed 15 Sep 2010, 9:07, Reply)

*draws up eugenics programme*

( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Wed 15 Sep 2010, 9:08, Reply)

I don't even bother with that level of planning
just stab them in the eye with a screwdriver.
(Bazongaloid, Wed 15 Sep 2010, 9:09, Reply)

With a ragged blade, I hope?

( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Wed 15 Sep 2010, 9:16, Reply)

And red wine
That fucker has stained my carpet too many times.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 15 Sep 2010, 9:05, Reply)

carpet hideous shirt
( thealternativefact, Wed 15 Sep 2010, 9:06, Reply)

That shirt has gone now, gutted :-(

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 15 Sep 2010, 9:10, Reply)

:(

( thealternativefact, Wed 15 Sep 2010, 9:12, Reply)

In regards to the idiot above, is the child still allowed Spag Bol?
As that stuff is designed to be worn around kids white shirts, and no matter how old they get they can't stop getting it smeared all round their faces. Granted, neither can I!
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 15 Sep 2010, 9:17, Reply)

\o/

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Wed 15 Sep 2010, 9:15, Reply)

Cruelty!
But still, Custard belongs with crumble! Pie goes with ice cream!

Strange man...
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 15 Sep 2010, 9:19, Reply)

I'm not really a dessert kinda guy
but daughter loathes custard so it's cream or icecream in our house.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Wed 15 Sep 2010, 9:23, Reply)

Terrible!
Custard is awesome.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 15 Sep 2010, 9:31, Reply)

I'm with you
crumble demands custard
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 15 Sep 2010, 9:33, Reply)

Especially if it's Rhubarb or Apple

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 15 Sep 2010, 9:37, Reply)

yeah

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 15 Sep 2010, 9:37, Reply)

Try the M&S uberspecial custard
it's fucking awesome. The first time I tried it I had serious munchies and ate the entire pot.
(berk, Wed 15 Sep 2010, 9:40, Reply)

I agree
Normally I'm against ready made custard, just doesn't seem quite right. But that is tasty!
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 15 Sep 2010, 9:41, Reply)

I always find curries are an orangey brown.
Before and afterwards
(Bazongaloid, Wed 15 Sep 2010, 9:06, Reply)

Some dishes
are REALLY RED in my favourite Indian restaurant.

They seem to overdose it with crushed beetles.
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Wed 15 Sep 2010, 9:09, Reply)

I once at a King Prawn Massalla which was bright red
It was still bright red when I vomited it over my friends patio later that night.
(Bazongaloid, Wed 15 Sep 2010, 9:09, Reply)

A friend of mine went OTT on the Red WKDs when they first started being sold
She was throwing up outside, and a few people were panicking, thinking she was vomiting blood, when a passing drunkard pointed out "It's fizzing, you silly fucks"
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 15 Sep 2010, 9:15, Reply)

My bathroom at the hotel at the last Mancs bash was like a scene from a slasher film.

( girlinthehole, Wed 15 Sep 2010, 9:19, Reply)

Going to be a repeat performance this year?

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 15 Sep 2010, 9:20, Reply)

Hell no!

( girlinthehole, Wed 15 Sep 2010, 9:27, Reply)

Shame, was a good laugh watching you totter around!

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 15 Sep 2010, 9:31, Reply)

I nearly went to that bash
but I couldn't afford it in the end. What happened?
(berk, Wed 15 Sep 2010, 9:33, Reply)

I was a very naughty girl : (

( girlinthehole, Wed 15 Sep 2010, 9:35, Reply)

Did you have sex on the bar?

(Bazongaloid, Wed 15 Sep 2010, 9:37, Reply)

No but I had Lampers head near my bosoms.
She's only 20.
( girlinthehole, Wed 15 Sep 2010, 9:38, Reply)

19 at the time, surely?

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 15 Sep 2010, 9:41, Reply)

Ooops!

( girlinthehole, Wed 15 Sep 2010, 9:43, Reply)

But that's the best kind of girl!
too much red wine, I take it?
(berk, Wed 15 Sep 2010, 9:41, Reply)

Yes.
I blacked out after a while and don't remember most of the night.
( girlinthehole, Wed 15 Sep 2010, 9:43, Reply)

Racist.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 15 Sep 2010, 10:07, Reply)

She fell over, we all got extremely drunk, then me and t0ria left, got a kebab, took about 2 bites, proclaimed it shit, then went home
Normal bash really.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 15 Sep 2010, 9:37, Reply)

I sprayed tomato and basil soup all over the toilets of some posh hotel in Manchester once
during a huge corporate christmas dinner. They should know not to hand out free champagne to 18-year old junglist hippies.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Wed 15 Sep 2010, 9:30, Reply)

Haha!

( girlinthehole, Wed 15 Sep 2010, 9:34, Reply)