Football
is the "sporting" equivalent of Big Brother. They are on the same intellectual plane.
( Kroney, Mon 20 Sep 2010, 16:19, 2 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

Unfortunately not on the same physical plane
that was flown into the World Trade 'Center'.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 20 Sep 2010, 16:20, Reply)

football is ace
Sure it gets talked about far too much but it's still a brilliant game. And no it doesn't matter but it makes saturday afternoon's more interesting.
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Mon 20 Sep 2010, 16:22, Reply)

I'm with you Bob.
I mean, it's not like there are dedicated websites and forums specifically for football. So it's only right it gets discussed here.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 20 Sep 2010, 16:25, Reply)

"Do you want to start a thread that isn't a direct answer to the current QOTW? Then this place, gentle poster, is your friend."

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 20 Sep 2010, 16:29, Reply)

"warning, if you are of a sensitive disposition
and dislike being called a FUCKING CUNT by Monty Boyce, you may wish to consider not posting about football. Of course, it's your life..."
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 20 Sep 2010, 16:33, Reply)

Football is shit.

(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Mon 20 Sep 2010, 16:31, Reply)

And also there's just SO MUCH to talk about!
Who 'we' are or are not 'buying', 'selling' or 'playing'; which places these simians will be placed on the field next time - and last time; the new PE kit these cunts are wearing - and the prices for which even thicker members of the public are charged for copies of them....

THE LIST IS ENDLESS.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 20 Sep 2010, 16:32, Reply)

So....
Are you going to the match on Saturday?
(Cave Duck, Mon 20 Sep 2010, 16:35, Reply)

Well - it all depends
whether 'we're' playing Foreignbenderoso or not. I really like his alice band. He's really cool.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 20 Sep 2010, 16:40, Reply)

Don't see the point in going that far into it
Did Liverpool win? Yes/No

For the hour after the match, that will mildly affect my mood. After that, I don't give one. It's just a game at the end of the day.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 20 Sep 2010, 16:45, Reply)

Not really
But should I assume you've made your mind up that only idiots would dare to watch and enjoy football?
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 20 Sep 2010, 16:24, Reply)

Not necessarily
It's possible that there are some intellectual giants out there that enjoy watching Big Brother. I'm yet to meet any, but I remain open-minded. Hopeful, even. The programme, however, is idiotic.
( Kroney, Mon 20 Sep 2010, 16:28, Reply)

Big Brother is shite, I agree
But I'm still unsure why everyone here has such a low opinion of football.

With Monty, it's understandable, he hates everything. But it seems that the mass majority seem utterly against it's discussion, and I'm just not sure why.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 20 Sep 2010, 16:31, Reply)

Some people don't like some stuff that other people like.
It's almost as though it's the same as everything else.

I quite like rugby, incidentally. I'm quite sure that people that enjoy other forms of sport will mock me for being a posh buggery enthusiast. I'm not posh, by the way.
( Kroney, Mon 20 Sep 2010, 16:33, Reply)

It's because it's boring
It's more interesting to men than women (in general) and sad to say the stereotype is well earned. I know intelligent people who like football but they're generally on 'casual like' end rather than the 'discuss it all the time' end.
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Mon 20 Sep 2010, 16:36, Reply)

this may garner me no end of abuse
but I watched almost all of the recent series of Big Brother. I find it fascinating watching the cretins get themselves worked up and paranoid over ridiculous things.

Also, occasional breasts.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 20 Sep 2010, 16:36, Reply)

I saw the housemates being picked

( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Mon 20 Sep 2010, 16:37, Reply)

A few seasons ago
a fatty put a wine bottle up her chuff.

This is the extent of my exposure to Endemol's magnum opus.
( Kroney, Mon 20 Sep 2010, 16:37, Reply)

I was unaware of that
the crop of people on the recent one were far less freakish than in previous years.

I really did find it fascinating. I'm embarrassed about it though, don't worry.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 20 Sep 2010, 16:38, Reply)

I saw some of the earlier bits
because I was awake all night and often worked in the common room with the TV on

A quick search yields this b3ta.com/questions/offtopic/post750840
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Mon 20 Sep 2010, 16:39, Reply)

you should have placed a bet

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 20 Sep 2010, 16:41, Reply)

Probably should've
she was just too 'nice' not to win. And I agree with your point above. Far fewer freaks this year
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Mon 20 Sep 2010, 16:42, Reply)

A social experiment of putting random strangers in the position of having to live together, cut off from the outside world and observing their behaviour is quite interesting.
Unfortunately people who are desperate to be on telly are precisely the type that should not be allowed on.
(Cave Duck, Mon 20 Sep 2010, 16:44, Reply)

If they could have been turned to cannibalism
and the whole thing was more 'Lord of the Flies' rather than 'Lord of the Gays' I might be interested.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 20 Sep 2010, 16:46, Reply)

On the other hand
Big Brother is very useful for conversation with people who are the type of people who watch it. I once lasted two hours in the company of someone like that on the strength of one idly read article on msn (back when there were twins on it)
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Mon 20 Sep 2010, 16:48, Reply)

I have an alternative conversation idea
for the type of people who watch it. More a Q&A kind of thing:

'Why don't you fuck off?', that sort of 'vibe'.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 20 Sep 2010, 16:53, Reply)

I used to live with a woman too, Vippers
*sympathises*
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 20 Sep 2010, 16:45, Reply)

I've made my mind up
that pretty much every person on earth is an idiot.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 20 Sep 2010, 16:34, Reply)

I don't know whether you're a ruder version of myself
or if I'm a more polite version of you. My ego says the former.
( Kroney, Mon 20 Sep 2010, 16:36, Reply)

You're wise.
Wise, and correct.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Mon 20 Sep 2010, 16:39, Reply)

Socratic, aren't I?

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 20 Sep 2010, 16:41, Reply)

People are very surprised when they realise how misanthropic I am.

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Mon 20 Sep 2010, 16:43, Reply)

Oddly enough, my driving instructor taught me the same thing.
"Treat everybody else on the road as though they're an idiot," he told me. I presumed this was supposed to be in reference to reacting to whatever they might do whilst driving in the same vicinity as you, but I've adopted as a general rule for life.
(LongJohnBaldry, Mon 20 Sep 2010, 16:41, Reply)

I'm not an idiot
There you are, being rude again. AGAIN making me cry. Oh, I don't know how to deal with it, you should buy me a drink now.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Mon 20 Sep 2010, 16:45, Reply)

Steady on, you'll be absolutely smashed by 5 o'clock.
_{Please don't cry people will start staring...}
(LongJohnBaldry, Mon 20 Sep 2010, 16:47, Reply)

That gives me 10 min to get drunk
Counting with the lack of sleep, I think that's 5 too many.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Mon 20 Sep 2010, 16:48, Reply)

I'm really upset too.
Large cognac, old boy. You know it's only right.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 20 Sep 2010, 16:48, Reply)

Does this mean I'm going to have to buy you a drink every time some sod mentions football?

(LongJohnBaldry, Mon 20 Sep 2010, 16:50, Reply)

You just mentioned it yourself.
I'll have a pint with that.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 20 Sep 2010, 16:50, Reply)

Arse.

(LongJohnBaldry, Mon 20 Sep 2010, 16:52, Reply)

No, not a pint of arse.
You're not in one of your 'special' nightclubs now.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 20 Sep 2010, 16:55, Reply)

Are you sure?
I can get each cheek into a pint glass, it's quite impressive to watch...
(LongJohnBaldry, Mon 20 Sep 2010, 17:02, Reply)

I take a very dim view of such activities, young man.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 20 Sep 2010, 17:07, Reply)

How was your Arse, in the end?

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Mon 20 Sep 2010, 17:10, Reply)

I bet he'll give you VSOP, just to piss you off.

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Mon 20 Sep 2010, 16:50, Reply)

That sounds like the sort of thing he'd do.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 20 Sep 2010, 16:52, Reply)

Like the FIEND I am! Haha!
*laughs maniaclly whilst twirling moustache*
(LongJohnBaldry, Mon 20 Sep 2010, 16:53, Reply)

MONTY POP QUIZ:
What DOES he drink?
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Mon 20 Sep 2010, 16:54, Reply)

Cognac.

(LongJohnBaldry, Mon 20 Sep 2010, 16:59, Reply)

XO, to be precise.

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Mon 20 Sep 2010, 16:59, Reply)

Must admit, I didn't know that.

(LongJohnBaldry, Mon 20 Sep 2010, 17:01, Reply)

Whenever possible:
www.thewhiskyexchange.com/P-1733.aspx

There are better ones out there but this is my staple
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 20 Sep 2010, 17:02, Reply)

Bloody hell
I remember I promised I'd buy you a bottle for punching you (or suchlike) but I don't love you THAT much.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Mon 20 Sep 2010, 17:10, Reply)

Yes you do. Think about it.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 20 Sep 2010, 17:12, Reply)

...What do I get out of it?

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Mon 20 Sep 2010, 17:14, Reply)

schlong

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 20 Sep 2010, 17:17, Reply)

Monty Schlong?
Urgh.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Mon 20 Sep 2010, 17:18, Reply)

you say that
but you are secreting lubricant at the mere thought
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 20 Sep 2010, 17:19, Reply)

...remember, I don't fancy Monty.
in his words- THANK GOD
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Mon 20 Sep 2010, 17:20, Reply)

Is that a tall glass of schloer?

(Cave Duck, Mon 20 Sep 2010, 17:20, Reply)

I see how you might think that.
whatever helps you choke it down
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 20 Sep 2010, 17:22, Reply)

I'll have a go on some of that
thanks for the invite, I'll be over by about 8.
( Kroney, Mon 20 Sep 2010, 17:15, Reply)

The dozy bugger.

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Mon 20 Sep 2010, 16:54, Reply)

He'll get you drunk
and then he'll do bad things to you. Be careful of the crow.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Mon 20 Sep 2010, 16:54, Reply)

I have the constitution of an ox.
He'd be blubbing into his pondwater before I'd even started warming up.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 20 Sep 2010, 16:58, Reply)

But he'll be drinking water
and giving you absinte. Don't you know the trick?
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Mon 20 Sep 2010, 17:01, Reply)

He'd still spin out before me.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 20 Sep 2010, 17:02, Reply)

LIES!
The cat was sober, it was me that was pissed...
(LongJohnBaldry, Mon 20 Sep 2010, 16:58, Reply)

Tell that to the poor traumatised criature
No wonder he was so quiet next day.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Mon 20 Sep 2010, 17:00, Reply)