a's monologue
And I want to play hide-and-seek and give you my clothes and tell you I like your shoes and sit on the steps while you take a bath and massage your neck and kiss your feet and hold your hand and go for a meal and not mind when you eat my food and meet you at Rudy's and talk about the day and type your letters and carry your boxes and laugh at your paranoia and give you tapes you don't listen to and watch great films and watch terrible films and complain about the radio and take pictures of you when you're sleeping and get up to fetch you coffee and bagels and Danish and go to Florent and drink coffee at midnight and have you steal my cigarettes and never be able to find a match and tell you about the the programme I saw the night before and take you to the eye hospital and not laugh at your jokes and want you in the morning but let you sleep for a while and kiss your back and stroke your skin and tell you how much I love your hair your eyes your lips your neck your breasts your arse your
and sit on the steps smoking till your neighbour comes home and sit on the steps smoking till you come home and worry when you're late and be amazed when you're early and give you sunflowers and go to your party and dance till I'm black and be sorry when I'm wrong and happy when you forgive me and look at your photos and wish I'd known you forever and hear your voice in my ear and feel your skin on my skin and get scared when you're angry and your eye has gone red and the other eye blue and your hair to the left and your face oriental and tell you you're gorgeous and hug you when you're anxious and hold you when you hurt and want you when I smell you and offend you when I touch you and whimper when I'm next to you and whimper when I'm not and dribble on your breast and smother you in the night and get cold when you take the blanket and hot when you don't and melt when you smile and dissolve when you laugh and not understand why you think I'm rejecting you when I'm not rejecting you and wonder how you could think I'd ever reject you and wonder who you are but accept you anyway and tell you about the tree angel enchanted forest boy who flew across the ocean because he loved you and write poems for you and wonder why you don't believe me and have a feeling so deep I can't find words for it and want to buy you a kitten I'd get jealous of because it would get more attention than me and keep you in bed when you have to go and cry like a baby when you finally do and get rid of the roaches and buy you presents you don't want and take them away again and ask you to marry me and you say no again but keep on asking because though you think I don't mean it I do always have from the first time I asked you and wander the city thinking it's empty without you and want want you want and think I'm losing myself but know I'm safe with you and tell you the worst of me and try to give you the best of me because you don't deserve any less and answer your questions when I'd rather not and tell you the truth when I really dont' want to and try to be honest because I know you prefer it and think it's all over but hang on in for just ten more minutes before you throw me out of your life and forget who I am and try to get closer to you because it's a beautiful learning to know you and well worth the effort and speak German to you badly and Hebrew to you worse and make love with you at three in the morning and somehow somehow somehow communicate some of the overwhelming undying overpowering unconditional all-encompassing heart-enriching mind-expanding on-going never-ending love I have for you."
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 29 Sep 2010, 15:05, 5 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

I would say
"Where the fuck's the punctuation?"
( Kroney, Wed 29 Sep 2010, 15:06, Reply)

it's a monologue
they would SAY it. so it would be inherent.

muppet.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 29 Sep 2010, 15:07, Reply)

The monologue
would need to be on paper even in script form to tell whoever was performing it where to place the punctuation.

Edit: The content's just whiny chick-lit, so I'd be in the eye-rolling brigade.
( Kroney, Wed 29 Sep 2010, 15:09, Reply)

no
that's for the actor
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 29 Sep 2010, 15:10, Reply)

Both
writing and theatre, right here. Scripts aren't big blocks of garble.
( Kroney, Wed 29 Sep 2010, 15:11, Reply)

I'd like to see an actor attempt to read that all in one breath
And place bets on where they turn blue and fall over
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 29 Sep 2010, 15:20, Reply)

pretty much what my classmate just did

( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 29 Sep 2010, 15:41, Reply)

James Joyce would probably disagree
on the punctuation, not the chick-lit thing.
(Zoz prayed for twink on, Wed 29 Sep 2010, 15:20, Reply)

James Joyce
is a douche.
( Kroney, Wed 29 Sep 2010, 15:23, Reply)

that's horribly gushing

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 29 Sep 2010, 15:10, Reply)

it's actually
a horrible play, but i thought this bit was nice. esp the bit about thinking i am rejecting you when i'm not rejecting you....... typical male/female miscommunication!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 29 Sep 2010, 15:12, Reply)

that's just annoying though
my mrs always thinks I am angry, despite her having known me for a long time and being fully aware that my relaxed face is quite angry looking.

also I'm not sure I've ever actually been angry with her.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 29 Sep 2010, 15:15, Reply)

You should have a badge that you can wear when you're properly angry so she knows.

( girlinthehole, Wed 29 Sep 2010, 15:18, Reply)

that's a good idea
my uni mates discovered that (because I swear and insult people so much) they could tell when I was actually pissed off because it was the only time I would call someone a penis.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 29 Sep 2010, 15:21, Reply)

I thought Sarah Kane was a lesbian
Therefore it wouldn't necessarily be male/female misunserstanding.
(Cave Duck, Wed 29 Sep 2010, 15:15, Reply)

's horribly 'd set my missus
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 29 Sep 2010, 15:21, Reply)

That's some soft-as-shit vomitous drivel right there

( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Wed 29 Sep 2010, 15:12, Reply)

so you wouldn't whisper it to me then?
don't make me sigh with disappointment...
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 29 Sep 2010, 15:14, Reply)

I'd make you sigh with dissappointment
if you know what I mean.
(Bazongaloid, Wed 29 Sep 2010, 15:16, Reply)

Miss Swipe
This is the sort of chick-lit bollocks that women lap up in books and Richard Curtis films, but in real life women love arrogant bastards.
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Wed 29 Sep 2010, 15:19, Reply)

true
although there has to be substance to justify the arrogance.

otherwise they are just a bit twatty!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 29 Sep 2010, 15:20, Reply)

it's not arrogance if it's justified
that's what I tell myself anyway
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 29 Sep 2010, 15:24, Reply)

self confidence and arrogance
are two different things.
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Wed 29 Sep 2010, 15:25, Reply)

But pretty much the same

(Himjim died a little more inside on, Wed 29 Sep 2010, 15:27, Reply)

true

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 29 Sep 2010, 15:28, Reply)

I adhere to the Theodore Roosevelt school of thought
"Speak softly and carry a big stick"
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Wed 29 Sep 2010, 15:26, Reply)

^This
My favorite quote.
( girlinthehole, Wed 29 Sep 2010, 15:28, Reply)

i like the sound
of your big stick

/predictable
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 29 Sep 2010, 15:36, Reply)

The next time you see wood
think of me
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Wed 29 Sep 2010, 15:39, Reply)

i'm sitting on a wooden chest
RIGHT NOW
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 29 Sep 2010, 15:41, Reply)

what cup size?
hahahahhahahhaha
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 29 Sep 2010, 15:43, Reply)

at least someone laughs at your jokes

( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 29 Sep 2010, 15:47, Reply)

My work here is done...
although in reality i'm a bit behind on my work
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Wed 29 Sep 2010, 15:48, Reply)

that's because you are on here
thank goodness, it would be poorer without you!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 29 Sep 2010, 16:01, Reply)

"take pictures of you while you sleep"
That's not romantic, just fucking creepy.
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Wed 29 Sep 2010, 15:12, Reply)

they've taken a leaf
out of Edward Cullen's book
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Wed 29 Sep 2010, 15:14, Reply)

You're just annoyed
Because the last photo of you asleep came out badly
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 29 Sep 2010, 15:15, Reply)

How dare you
That was a good day.
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Wed 29 Sep 2010, 15:17, Reply)

All I'm saying is you could have at least shaved your legs!

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 29 Sep 2010, 15:18, Reply)

I agree whole-heartedly
there are some dodgy types about and no mistake.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Wed 29 Sep 2010, 15:22, Reply)

You have to be particularly careful at bashes

( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Wed 29 Sep 2010, 16:15, Reply)

It's funny if you've written swears on their face with marker pen.

(PsychoChomp, Wed 29 Sep 2010, 15:29, Reply)

There is a totally nonsensical bit
where it goes "Your breasts your arse your
and sit ..."

Other than that it's utter tripe.
(Bazongaloid, Wed 29 Sep 2010, 15:14, Reply)