One guy in my A-level biology class I barely even spoke to confessed his "burning love" for me
That was horrific.

One of the reasons why I got rid of the puppy was because after TWO DATES he asked me if we could "be in a relationship" and that he wanted to "do his best" for me. blegh.

Cunt-ex said I love you after three months as well, and possibly thrown off track by my horrified and disgusted face then made it worse by saying "I wanted to say it two months ago, but I thought it would make you run away" TOO FUCKING RIGHT MATE.
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Wed 29 Sep 2010, 15:38, 3 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

if he didn't ask you then he wouldn't know when it was ok to update his facebook status
give him a break!
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 29 Sep 2010, 15:40, Reply)

After two dates?
That's a strike out, right there.
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Wed 29 Sep 2010, 15:43, Reply)

After two dates
The girl's still someone hot who is stupid enough to talk to me, not a girlfriend.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 29 Sep 2010, 15:45, Reply)

He was a virgin, bless his little cotton socks.

(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Wed 29 Sep 2010, 15:48, Reply)

I bet he would ask if you were ok
Constantly during sex.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 29 Sep 2010, 15:51, Reply)

Some of us have to do that.

(PsychoChomp, Wed 29 Sep 2010, 15:57, Reply)

Some of us don't care

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 29 Sep 2010, 15:59, Reply)

There's a rapist joke here,
But I can't be bothered to make it.
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Wed 29 Sep 2010, 16:05, Reply)

It was a boast about the size of my penis.

(PsychoChomp, Wed 29 Sep 2010, 16:06, Reply)

it was subtle
I would not have been able to guess that was what you were saying
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 29 Sep 2010, 16:08, Reply)

that's because
you suspect it's more of a lie than a boast.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 29 Sep 2010, 16:13, Reply)

I assumed it's because the women he sleeps with are usually crying

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 29 Sep 2010, 16:16, Reply)

Or gagged...

(Miraclefish How appropriate, you fight like a cow, Wed 29 Sep 2010, 17:40, Reply)

I got rid of him before I had the chance to de-virginise him.
Probably a good thing. I don't cope very well with virgins.
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Wed 29 Sep 2010, 16:04, Reply)

"Burning love"
sounds like something you'd need to get tested for.
( Kroney, Wed 29 Sep 2010, 15:41, Reply)

At the start of our relationship Wiggy and I used to say meloveyoulongtime
and then one day he said "loveyou" and I looked a bit frightened and said "you forgot to say longtime" and he said "yeah I know.....is that ok?". It was pretty sweet.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 29 Sep 2010, 15:42, Reply)

your life is an Indie movie.

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Wed 29 Sep 2010, 15:43, Reply)

I bet she has a burger phone

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 29 Sep 2010, 15:46, Reply)

A shit indy movie
where none of the characters are likeable.
(PsychoChomp, Wed 29 Sep 2010, 15:46, Reply)

Isn't that all of them?

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 29 Sep 2010, 15:51, Reply)

I liked Napolean Dynamite.

(PsychoChomp, Wed 29 Sep 2010, 15:53, Reply)

it's a great film

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 29 Sep 2010, 15:58, Reply)

Agreed

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 29 Sep 2010, 15:59, Reply)

There was, recently, heavy internet talk
of a sequel/prequel being commissioned. I think that would be a bad idea. First one was good but not excellent.
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Wed 29 Sep 2010, 16:00, Reply)

it would be a bad idea
and I think the first is great
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 29 Sep 2010, 16:02, Reply)

oi!
stop being horrible when I'm being so nice.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 29 Sep 2010, 15:58, Reply)

I thought you meant Indiana Jones then.

(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Wed 29 Sep 2010, 15:49, Reply)

I have thought about her with a whip before

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Wed 29 Sep 2010, 15:56, Reply)