I feel the urge to sing 'New Thread' to the tune of 'Blue Moon'
but fear my staff would all resign in horror if I did.

So I won't. I have no question, I'm such an UNORTHODOX RENEGADE who never PLAYS BY THE RULES.

I'm a kind of one-man internet 'The Wire'...
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 14 Oct 2010, 17:59, 84 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

If you have no question, I have no answer. All I wish to say is that I want to go drinking and get pissed but I shouldn't.

(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Thu 14 Oct 2010, 18:03, Reply)

I'm off to Tayyabs.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 14 Oct 2010, 18:06, Reply)

Lucky man. What date do you have in mind for the b3ta gathering there?

(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Thu 14 Oct 2010, 18:07, Reply)

Don't know. People start to have full diaries within a few weeks so it should be soon.
I prefer weekends so I can get properly arseholed but Tayyab's is impossible Thurs-Sat, it's too busy to properly enjoy.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 14 Oct 2010, 18:12, Reply)

Is it really that good there?

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 14 Oct 2010, 18:15, Reply)

It's one of the best in London
and would easily get 7/10 in the rest of the country.

6/10 in Bradford.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Thu 14 Oct 2010, 18:54, Reply)

So you'd get a better curry in Birmingham then?

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 14 Oct 2010, 18:55, Reply)

No, the fact that you were in Brum would reduce the quality by at least 92.7%

(Bazongaloid, Thu 14 Oct 2010, 19:01, Reply)

So why would it only get a 7/10 in the rest of the country?

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 14 Oct 2010, 19:19, Reply)

Did you check any hip hop?

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 14 Oct 2010, 19:22, Reply)

Not yet.
I'll do that now.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 14 Oct 2010, 19:22, Reply)

Get on it.

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 14 Oct 2010, 19:23, Reply)

Right.
I'm currently listening to www.youtube.com/watch?v=FVgvL-M3Aro

It kind of fills the stereotype I was questioning last night.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 14 Oct 2010, 19:27, Reply)

Try Sound of da Police instead.
www.youtube.com/watch?v=_BxBs4f4RIU&feature=related

Righteous, justified fury.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 14 Oct 2010, 19:29, Reply)

A Tribe Called Quest?
A black TakeThat.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 14 Oct 2010, 19:31, Reply)

Woah.
Q-Tip is a fantastic rapper- exquisite flow, that voice and excellent lyrics.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 14 Oct 2010, 19:32, Reply)

Sound of da Police?
Yet more 'Oh, the police think I sell crack and woo-wooing'

I'll keep going with this and try a few more links, but the songs seem to follow a very similar theme.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 14 Oct 2010, 19:35, Reply)

Sound of da Police is very much NOT about that
It's about institutional racism in the US police, released around the time of the LA riots.

Also discusses how blacks are repeatedly denied the same opportunity as whites which in many ways imposes a lifestyle of criminality on them, and the injustice of slavery.

Did you miss that bit?
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 14 Oct 2010, 19:39, Reply)

I think we'll just have to agree to differ on this one.
Hip-Hop doesn't give me the same lift as it does you.

Each to their own and all that!
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 14 Oct 2010, 19:41, Reply)

Check the J5 tune.
Different styles of hip hop is all, it's not all guns and violence, any more than all heavy metal is satan worshipping and church burning.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 14 Oct 2010, 19:43, Reply)

interesting
if you read the lyrics it's pretty angry at black people who break free of a stereotype and become police themselves
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Thu 14 Oct 2010, 19:44, Reply)

Yes, that too.
And the social hypocrisy of being policed by a corrupt and racist organisation.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 14 Oct 2010, 19:45, Reply)

But still selling crack
And shooting people with your 9mm if someone annoys you?
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 14 Oct 2010, 19:47, Reply)

I don't get you
You don't think art should talk about what happens in real life?

And KRS One hates crack. With a passion.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 14 Oct 2010, 19:49, Reply)

He just says that so there is more left for him

(Bazongaloid, Thu 14 Oct 2010, 20:09, Reply)

Sorry
isn't that the chap who thought 9/11 was something to cheer about?

The one who apparently quite likes to racially segregate people into us and them
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Thu 14 Oct 2010, 20:53, Reply)

And if he did?
You don't think that someone can hold that view?

So what if he did? Have you read any more about what he said?

Doesn't stop him being a fantastic rapper, does it?

And he's also done benefit gigs for victims of 911, he said he can see Osama Bin Laden's reasons and point of view. I can too, it doesn't mean I condone or justify what happened.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 14 Oct 2010, 21:02, Reply)

moved to bottom of page for clarity
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Thu 14 Oct 2010, 21:20, Reply)

fair enough dude
I love KRS, you don't.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 14 Oct 2010, 21:22, Reply)

Have some J5 then
www.youtube.com/watch?v=rt55HI5cyjA
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 14 Oct 2010, 19:40, Reply)

See, I found that enjoyable.
Not massively different to Us3.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 14 Oct 2010, 19:43, Reply)

Or this Mos Def tune from back in the day
www.youtube.com/watch?v=I5H3IV1e1Ew
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 14 Oct 2010, 19:44, Reply)

Here's one for you Dozer
www.youtube.com/watch?v=6hQPQsJiFWg
(Zoz prayed for twink on, Thu 14 Oct 2010, 20:23, Reply)

Rakim, man!
I love Rakim. Such a lyricist and such sublime flow. Sometimes I can't decide who I like more- Rakim, Kool Keith or Q Tip.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 14 Oct 2010, 20:25, Reply)

Chevron!
I can see the common ground with Q-Tip and Rakim as in they both have a very steady flow. Kool Keith is another kettle of fish entirely in that he's a bit off his rocker.
(Zoz prayed for twink on, Thu 14 Oct 2010, 20:37, Reply)

Yes, or indeed oop north
Sadly the London Reality Filter prevents them from realising this.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Thu 14 Oct 2010, 21:12, Reply)

as opposed to those damn orthodox renegades?

actually, maybe they are renegades with big hats and curly sideburns.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Thu 14 Oct 2010, 18:03, Reply)

I lived in Stamford Hill one hot, weird-fish-smelling summer.
It was like living in 1930s Eastern Europe - it was so surreal I practically gave up drugs* to protect my sanity...

*this last bit is a massive lie
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 14 Oct 2010, 18:08, Reply)

I got a new toy in the maaaaaiiiiiiil tooooooodaaaaaaay
and have found my outfit for the pimps and hoes party
( Lisette von Falcon, Thu 14 Oct 2010, 18:04, Reply)

What kind of toy, or do I not want to know?

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 14 Oct 2010, 18:14, Reply)

it's called the tickle and whip

( Lisette von Falcon, Thu 14 Oct 2010, 18:17, Reply)

Is it another Kong
So you don't have to share with the dog?
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 14 Oct 2010, 18:15, Reply)

I downloaded Pokemon Red on my laptop, it is reet good.

(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Thu 14 Oct 2010, 18:41, Reply)

I know nothing about pokemon

( Lisette von Falcon, Thu 14 Oct 2010, 18:49, Reply)

It's class.
But I'm tempted to uninstall it as hundreds of memories of the nine year old me playing it are flooding back and I don't deal with nostalgia very well. I've just found thirty or so t-shirts I forgot I owned so I'm going to hang them up instead now. Life in the fast lane init.
(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Thu 14 Oct 2010, 18:56, Reply)

what is the best pokemon
?
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 14 Oct 2010, 19:07, Reply)

Oh man I fucking love the wire
You don't so you're wrong.
(PsychoChomp, Thu 14 Oct 2010, 18:07, Reply)

This is a transcript of an msn conversation I just had.
Old flame I haven't seen since feb: Hello lover
Me: Hello, this wasn't meant for me was it?
Old flame I haven't seen since feb has disconnected.
(PsychoChomp, Thu 14 Oct 2010, 18:09, Reply)

"Conversation" is pushing it a bit.

(PsychoChomp, Thu 14 Oct 2010, 18:09, Reply)

Somewhat.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 14 Oct 2010, 18:13, Reply)

Fuck it I'm having a mega posh sausage sandwich.

(PsychoChomp, Thu 14 Oct 2010, 18:15, Reply)

You're wearing trousers while you eat it?

(Bazongaloid, Thu 14 Oct 2010, 19:02, Reply)

It's him, the duke of wimbourne and stephen fry.

( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Thu 14 Oct 2010, 21:14, Reply)

I'm off. Goodbye.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 14 Oct 2010, 18:15, Reply)

Oh Monty
You are a card.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 14 Oct 2010, 18:27, Reply)

A 'with sympathy' one.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 14 Oct 2010, 18:28, Reply)

I fear Monty is turning into /OT's version of JMG

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 14 Oct 2010, 18:28, Reply)

There's probably a /talk version
of each /offtopicer
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Thu 14 Oct 2010, 18:29, Reply)

what an awful prospect.
how are you?
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 14 Oct 2010, 18:38, Reply)

I'm good thanks
yourself?
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Thu 14 Oct 2010, 19:02, Reply)

I dread to think how the other me behaves.
I am apparently 'a halfwitted cunt with no sense of proper behaviour.'

As reckoned by a man that once threatened me with violence for calling a SpankyHanky story shit.

There is a pot and there is a kettle. Together, they discuss their blackness.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 14 Oct 2010, 18:38, Reply)

I suspect the other you is a whole-witted penis with a sense of decorum

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 14 Oct 2010, 18:42, Reply)

That would surely be the 'anti me'
Rather than another version, no?
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 14 Oct 2010, 18:44, Reply)

I was going for the mirror version
for some reason. I just got that in my head. Despite my original point not being anything of the sort regarding Monty and JMG.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 14 Oct 2010, 18:45, Reply)

What is the opposite of a croissant then?

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 14 Oct 2010, 18:48, Reply)

good question
I will need to research it

but now it is time for band practice!
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 14 Oct 2010, 18:51, Reply)

A Gregs jam dohnut

( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Thu 14 Oct 2010, 18:59, Reply)

I have a secret
and that secret is that I LOVE GREGGS!

it's not a secret anymore. Bring me steakbakes and iced ring doughnuts until I pop!
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 14 Oct 2010, 19:06, Reply)

It will all end in tears.

( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Thu 14 Oct 2010, 19:12, Reply)

of joy

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 14 Oct 2010, 19:12, Reply)

I've been thinking this myself.
When he gets back from Tayyabs, I hope he reads this and feels really bad.
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Thu 14 Oct 2010, 18:41, Reply)

feels really bad ends himself
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 14 Oct 2010, 18:42, Reply)

It may be better for all of us if he does.

( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Thu 14 Oct 2010, 18:43, Reply)

I love Monty's hilarious fits of grumpiness
I vote we keep him.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 14 Oct 2010, 18:45, Reply)

+in a locked box

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 14 Oct 2010, 18:46, Reply)

i googled tayyabs
and now I'm hungry
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 14 Oct 2010, 19:05, Reply)

It's soooooooo amazing
it would be worth a trip to london on its own.
(Bazongaloid, Thu 14 Oct 2010, 19:06, Reply)

perhaps one day I will make it to London
but I don't like the place. There is a good photo exhibition on there at the moment, though
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 14 Oct 2010, 19:08, Reply)

Come down, see the photos, eat a Tayyabs, go home.
Best day EVAH!
(Bazongaloid, Thu 14 Oct 2010, 19:10, Reply)

this is actually tempting
if only I'd been paid since July :(
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 14 Oct 2010, 19:12, Reply)

The streets really are paved with tramps.

( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Thu 14 Oct 2010, 19:10, Reply)

i remember from the short time I lived there

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 14 Oct 2010, 19:12, Reply)

Better come back quick, or you might tread on Monty.
He'll be the one who looks and sounds like Sir Digby Chicken Ceasar.
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Thu 14 Oct 2010, 19:16, Reply)

From above
oddly enough when someone sets themselves up as a commentator on values, people listen to what they say. It's why people felt indignant against Iris Robinson- dictating other people's morals, yet betraying them in her private life. Here is a man who by *your* take on the matter is fighting racism, corruption etc, and yet condones with the death of many because they were rich and therefore part of the system that is apparently still 'slavery.' He's hardly doing much to break down preconceived opinions is he? Hardly doing much to build a society of *equal* values and respect. I took some time to read his lyrics (he's mediocre in song quality) and I'm really not finding very much apart from 'fuck the police, fuck society, fuck everyone who is holding us down.' Wow constructive and thoughtful criticism there.

As for benefits gigs, feels a bit like Elvis Costello doing Rock against Racism
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Thu 14 Oct 2010, 21:21, Reply)