this is really for gonz's thread
but it seems to have been dumped for this younger blonder thread, so.

i am highly chuffed this morning as i managed to get my £300 knocked off my phone bill. i get free landline calls, but have not paid bill since june due to an ongoing row with virgin about their shoddy service. turns out the sneaky devious rotten bastards are now trying to claim that only calls under an hour are free. anything over that and you have to pay for the lot. i flatly refused this butterless anal shafting on the basis that it was not properly incorporated into the contract as it is hidden in teeny tiny smallprint on the bill. they have now given in, hoorah.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 15 Oct 2010, 9:58, 4 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

Congratulations
Both for the impressive legal victory and for the unparalleled use of the phrase "butterless anal shafting"
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 15 Oct 2010, 10:04, Reply)

fanks!
i hate being ripped off. and to offer free landline calls but cap it like that... if i'd hung up at 59 mins and called straight back, they would have been no better off. it's just a ripoff!

of course it serves me right for spending so long on the phone, but meh.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 15 Oct 2010, 10:05, Reply)

BT have that rule
But it's more clearly stated. And yeah, you can hang up and call back after 59 minutes and it still costs you nothing.
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Fri 15 Oct 2010, 10:07, Reply)

it's because they know you will forget
who times a phonecall ffs.

apart from BT and virgin, clearly.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 15 Oct 2010, 10:08, Reply)

And your phone
Which probably shows how long you've been on for.
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Fri 15 Oct 2010, 10:13, Reply)

oh
oh. the new set (1 fixed, 1 portable) that i bought a few months ago actually does.

hmmmmm.

oh well.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 15 Oct 2010, 10:20, Reply)

An hour!
AN HOUR!

What do you talk about for an hour?

On a regular basis?!?
(Zoz prayed for twink on, Fri 15 Oct 2010, 10:05, Reply)

silly zozimus
it depends who is on the other end!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 15 Oct 2010, 10:06, Reply)

*winks*

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 15 Oct 2010, 10:08, Reply)

*offers tissue*

(Zoz prayed for twink on, Fri 15 Oct 2010, 10:14, Reply)

I'm with Zoz on this one
I can't imagine being on the phone for an hour. Perhaps in my youth, but no longer. I think this may be a male/female divide
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 15 Oct 2010, 10:13, Reply)

Five minutes
and I'm looking for an exit from the conversation.
(Zoz prayed for twink on, Fri 15 Oct 2010, 10:15, Reply)

Conversations should be
Alright? Pub? Time?
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 15 Oct 2010, 10:16, Reply)

that's because you've never spoken to me on the phone
clearly!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 15 Oct 2010, 10:17, Reply)

oh god
i am frequently on the phone for several hours! i once had a boyfriend who lived about 2 hours away, so we spent a lot of time on the phone. i ended up having to see a physio because the tendons in my forearm cramped up after so long holding the cordless phone and got all knotted. i'm quite careful how i hold it now!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 15 Oct 2010, 10:16, Reply)

Hands free is your friend.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 15 Oct 2010, 10:17, Reply)

not if it means your neighbours can hear the conversation
not always appropriate
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 15 Oct 2010, 10:19, Reply)

And the tendons in your hand cramped up from holding the phone?

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 15 Oct 2010, 10:19, Reply)

i don't know what you are implying

( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 15 Oct 2010, 10:22, Reply)

I spend all day on the phone at work but rarely have a conversation over 10 mins
I have perfected the art of the brief call

Say hello
State purpose
Solve problem
Go
( disasterprone "Pyjamas caused the Holocaust", Fri 15 Oct 2010, 10:20, Reply)

well of course, at WORK!
but at home? when you haven't seen your friend for about 24 hours??

honestly.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 15 Oct 2010, 10:21, Reply)

At home I have it thusly
Say hi
State purpose
Make arrangement
Go
( disasterprone "Pyjamas caused the Holocaust", Fri 15 Oct 2010, 10:23, Reply)

I hate talking on the phone for more than 5 minutes
My missus will call me up on her break and jabber on for 20-30 minutes, even though I'm seeing her in about 4 hours time.
There are some that I'd gladly chat to for longer than 5 minutes, people like Tourettes and DG who I don't get to see often.
Thing is, I'm never not doing anything, therefore calling me is disturbing me.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 15 Oct 2010, 10:21, Reply)

i multi-task

( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 15 Oct 2010, 10:21, Reply)

I'm always a very busy man
and i hate pointless phone calls.

they really annoy me.
( disasterprone "Pyjamas caused the Holocaust", Fri 15 Oct 2010, 10:23, Reply)

A mate of mine is really awful for failing to get to the point
Every time I ask what the plan is, he'll insist he's not bothered. I'll table something, he'll counter and go into exacting detail as to why it won't suit. Repeat ad nauseam. It took me 20 mins to shepherd the conversation towards a conclusion.
(Zoz prayed for twink on, Fri 15 Oct 2010, 10:31, Reply)

I can too, but I'd rather just be doing the thing I was doing before I was called
Calling me for a chat is akin to barging through my front door and demanding attention. And I'm too nice to screen calls.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 15 Oct 2010, 10:25, Reply)

Well at least one of us has a victory of this nature to celebrate.
I am very pleased for you.

You don't fancy calling WankWank for me do you? To add insult to injury there was a mailshot from them on my doormat last night suggesting I 'switch' to them for their amazing broadband 'service'.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 15 Oct 2010, 10:07, Reply)

i am on a roll at the moment
so far this david has taken on the following goliaths:

oxford city council (parking ticket)
virgin (phone bill)
crown estates (lease extension)

and saved the following:

£80
£300
£10,000

anyone want to come shopping???

why don't you let me look up their CEO for you and give you the letter i sent to virgin's CEO (not branson!)? that'll fix it.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 15 Oct 2010, 10:11, Reply)

shopping sounds good
I need more boots
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Fri 15 Oct 2010, 10:12, Reply)

me too
and a new handbag!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 15 Oct 2010, 10:14, Reply)

Can we go shopping for YE DRUGGES?
A pal has Peruvian flake for £90 a throw.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 15 Oct 2010, 10:29, Reply)

How are you david?
Trained lawyer takes on customer service temps.
(PsychoChomp, Fri 15 Oct 2010, 10:28, Reply)

...aged 12, on two rupees a day, at 4am their time....

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 15 Oct 2010, 10:29, Reply)

on the plus side
she wore a very fetching skirt and sandal combination.

So quite David-like really
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Fri 15 Oct 2010, 10:32, Reply)

if you are going to piss on my chips don't be an utter moron about it
customer service oil-rags don't make that sort of decision. you either cough up or you argue it out with their senior engineer.

and i don't think the crown estates' magic circle multi-million pound lawyers would enjoy your description of them either!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 15 Oct 2010, 10:38, Reply)

Have they still not sorted it Monty?

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 15 Oct 2010, 10:13, Reply)

NO.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 15 Oct 2010, 10:22, Reply)

virgin did exactly this to me
none of the non-english speaking tools on the helpline could help me. i got into such a blinding rage with one of them, who kept lying to me, that i thought i was going to swim over to india and kill him. nor did i believe his name was "richard jones" when he had an indian accent i could have cut with a poppadum.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 15 Oct 2010, 10:25, Reply)

Best one I ever had was (in comedy 70s racist Indian accent)
'Hello my name is Steve Davis'

I pissed myself.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 15 Oct 2010, 10:28, Reply)

Follow my lead
And when the overseas person introduces themselves as 'Dave' or whatever, give them your details and request that for the duration of the call, they call you 'Sanjay'.

It confuses them no end.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 15 Oct 2010, 10:30, Reply)

they shouldn't be told to do it
it is rude for everyone. virgin should either accept that people don't like the long-distance phonecalls because you can't hear them properly and it's crackly and pay someone in england to do it, or be upfront about it!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 15 Oct 2010, 10:42, Reply)

I quite agree
Especially if they're asking for money.

*Plots to refuse to pay bills as the person requesting the money doesn't sound like they're really a Jennifer and I suspect fraud*
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 15 Oct 2010, 10:44, Reply)

Virgin are shiteyes.
They are claiming that the package I asked for online had broadband at £25 a month (it didn't). However I was in the US when they installed it, and the paperwork left behind did indeed say £25 a month on it. However, I wasn't there at the time and I haven't actually signed either copy so I'm pretty sure they can't hold me to it.

You've done well to get that refunded as the "charging for calls over an hour" is absolute cast-iron standard in every single free calls package available and always has been. Well played.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 15 Oct 2010, 10:26, Reply)

well
i think they were just so glad that i agreed to cough up for the tv and internet, which they had fucked up badly, and my landline hadn't worked for about 9 months because of an error with their box, and then their engineers failed to turn up for about 3 saturday appointments.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 15 Oct 2010, 10:34, Reply)