hello all
Hope noone else is as violently desperately sickly hungover as I am today... Quick question please, if anyone is more cultured than I am.

My mystery flowers turned out to be a thank you from a neighbour I have helped with a small money claim, which is lovely. Anyway, seems to be the season for it, because there was a stunning orchid on my doorstep from another neighbour whom I was explaining lease extensioms to on tue! It's really beautiful.

But........ How do I not kill it, please??? Do they like water?! As usual I am stumped by anything remotely practical... Ta!!!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 28 Oct 2010, 9:09, 10 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

Not a fucking clue I'm afraid.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 28 Oct 2010, 9:10, Reply)

try this link
perfectly innocent

lmgtfy.com/?q=how+do+I+look+after+an+orchid%3F
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 28 Oct 2010, 9:11, Reply)

Orchids thrive on neglect
Don't give it much water, keep it somewhere relatively warm and with some sunlight, and definitely not anywhere drafty (draughty?)
(Bazongaloid, Thu 28 Oct 2010, 9:11, Reply)

You were brought up as an orchid.
That's what turned you bent.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 28 Oct 2010, 9:14, Reply)

thanks all
Blimey a sensible answer from al and a sarky answer from vipros, is it my hangover or is the world tilting on its axis
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 28 Oct 2010, 9:14, Reply)

if you had followed mine it would have led you to what you needed to know
:-P
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 28 Oct 2010, 9:18, Reply)

oh it just came up as a blank google search box on my blackberry
Sorry!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 28 Oct 2010, 9:21, Reply)

it should have gone to Let me google that for you
and then taken you to a page of results on how to look after orchids.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 28 Oct 2010, 9:26, Reply)

no....
but thank you for the effort, sorry it was wasted...
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 28 Oct 2010, 9:36, Reply)

*massive sighs*

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 28 Oct 2010, 9:39, Reply)

Collect some rain water and use that.
It may not help, but it won't harm it.
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Thu 28 Oct 2010, 9:12, Reply)

orchid's stress me out
they're so delicate and I can never get them to flower again after the original ones have dropped off. Apparently you're supposed to water them once a week by doing a 'water bath' which is submerging the pot in water for a few minutes and then letting the water drain out again.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 28 Oct 2010, 9:13, Reply)

i've only had one before
It was lovely for a few weeks and then a dead stick for many months until I got fed up and binned it. Will try bathing this one ta, he is too pretty to die!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 28 Oct 2010, 9:16, Reply)

Orchids on doorsteps?
Are you living inside a film? When does Hugh Grant appear?
(Cancer Joy was short lived, Thu 28 Oct 2010, 9:15, Reply)

i too would like to know the answer to this
Sadly this is a marks and sparks orchid from my 70 year old neighbours, not as glam as it sounds!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 28 Oct 2010, 9:22, Reply)

Don't cut off it's roots.

(PsychoChomp, Thu 28 Oct 2010, 9:15, Reply)

why would you do that to any plant?
murderer.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 28 Oct 2010, 9:32, Reply)

To eat it?

(PsychoChomp, Thu 28 Oct 2010, 9:36, Reply)

Jumping up and down on them repeatedly helps

(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Thu 28 Oct 2010, 9:16, Reply)

haha

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 28 Oct 2010, 9:32, Reply)

If you set fire to them
they turn into a phoenix. That's what I heard.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 28 Oct 2010, 9:18, Reply)

you'll feel really fucking silly when she arrives at the next bash atop a beautiful phoenix.

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 28 Oct 2010, 9:32, Reply)

I'll just charm the phoenix if that happens. No problem.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 28 Oct 2010, 9:34, Reply)

sounds like a euphemism
i'd love to have a phoenix. what a great pet.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 28 Oct 2010, 9:36, Reply)

I used to keep lots of orchids
I'd keep them soaked in water and they were fine for years, flowered, I took cuttings and grew new orchids. Unfortunately they all froze at Christmas when my boiler broke :(
( Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Thu 28 Oct 2010, 9:20, Reply)

OH THE MASSACRE!
You should have fed them steak, like in Little Shop of Horrors.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 28 Oct 2010, 9:33, Reply)