that poem cannot fail to bring any right thinking woman (called Janet) to her knees

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 12 Nov 2010, 9:56, 1 reply, 15 years ago)

Reckon he's fucking Janet Street-Porter?

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 12 Nov 2010, 9:57, Reply)

she's probably fucking him

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 12 Nov 2010, 9:58, Reply)

That's a rather horrific thought.

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 12 Nov 2010, 9:59, Reply)

fortunately I just blurt those sort of things out
rather than give them any consideration
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 12 Nov 2010, 10:00, Reply)

Well, just think about it, as you gaze into her eyes

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 12 Nov 2010, 10:04, Reply)

What the fuck is she wearing?
Has she just let her pubes grow?
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Fri 12 Nov 2010, 10:06, Reply)

She's just plaited her armpits

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 12 Nov 2010, 10:17, Reply)

*boke*

( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Fri 12 Nov 2010, 10:22, Reply)

I know that she actually looks like this,
but for some reason it looks a bit like her face has been mashed up with Jimmy Hill in photoshop.
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Fri 12 Nov 2010, 10:14, Reply)

Oh man
when she drew attention to her cleavage on Have I Got News For You recently I felt a bit queasy.
(Zoz prayed for twink on, Fri 12 Nov 2010, 10:02, Reply)

You mean
'RANET REET RORTAAAHHH'?
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 12 Nov 2010, 10:00, Reply)

Sounds like she's fucking Scooby Doo now.

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 12 Nov 2010, 10:03, Reply)

I suspect Scooby would be more tender and considerate than Janet Street-Porter.

(Cave Duck, Fri 12 Nov 2010, 10:09, Reply)

Don't tell me, you've met her?

( girlinthehole, Fri 12 Nov 2010, 10:04, Reply)

met got a daughter with
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 12 Nov 2010, 10:05, Reply)

Actually no,
but a peculiar chain of events led to my being in her ex Normski's address book with 'OLD SKOOL' against my name, and his then missus thought I was an old friend of his, so I was covertly invited to his surprise birthday party in a Caribbean restaurant.

Will that do?
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 12 Nov 2010, 10:07, Reply)

NORRRRRRRRRRM-SKIIIIIIIIIII

(Bazongaloid, Fri 12 Nov 2010, 10:09, Reply)

He's a lovely man, he's just not terribly bright.
He was a photographer in what is termed 'The Golden Age of Hip Hop' and has an incredible collection of pics of the greats, from when they played London gigs. I was in the process of swapping some with him for some early 80s stuff I had on video but we lost touch.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 12 Nov 2010, 10:11, Reply)

you are a strange man

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 12 Nov 2010, 10:10, Reply)

I have had a fucking weird life.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 12 Nov 2010, 10:12, Reply)

it certainly sounds it
I often have cause to think that my life has been remarkably uneventful.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 12 Nov 2010, 10:19, Reply)

Bleedin hell.

( girlinthehole, Fri 12 Nov 2010, 10:18, Reply)