I'm bored
I spent all my money on things I shouldn't have last weekend and now I'm broke. I can't get Assassin's Creed 2 to work on my PC after downloading it either. Close to going mad.

Why the flying fuck are you here?
(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Fri 19 Nov 2010, 23:21, 99 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

Because I drank beer so couldn't drive into Derby

( Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Fri 19 Nov 2010, 23:23, Reply)

Because I'm a billy no mates
I'm so fucking bored and lonely it's untrue. Sad times.
(berk, Fri 19 Nov 2010, 23:24, Reply)

Don't be lonely *huggles*

( Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Fri 19 Nov 2010, 23:26, Reply)

Heh, cheers
it's becoming horrifyingly evident just how far away all of my friends live.
(berk, Fri 19 Nov 2010, 23:30, Reply)

I have no idea where you are
But to me you're right here next to my heart
( Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Fri 19 Nov 2010, 23:32, Reply)

That's very sweet
but possibly a little too Evanesence :)
(berk, Fri 19 Nov 2010, 23:34, Reply)

Evanesence gay
(Zoz prayed for twink on, Fri 19 Nov 2010, 23:36, Reply)

gay Maximinimus
( Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Fri 19 Nov 2010, 23:53, Reply)

bumhole pics

(Zoz prayed for twink on, Fri 19 Nov 2010, 23:29, Reply)

I'm drunk and I cooked curry this evening.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 19 Nov 2010, 23:30, Reply)

I had toast
woooooooo rock n roll!
(berk, Fri 19 Nov 2010, 23:33, Reply)

What did you have on it?

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 19 Nov 2010, 23:36, Reply)

Butter
haute cuisine and that, you know?
(berk, Fri 19 Nov 2010, 23:37, Reply)

I had...
www.curryhouse.co.uk/rsc/maindish.htm

I made the basic curry sauce and then cooked the madras, all to the recipes listed.

It was fantastic.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 19 Nov 2010, 23:42, Reply)

Very nice!
I think so far today I've had a yoghurt, a kitkat chunky, two glasses of mulled wine, a piece of toast and half a joint. I'm starving and not nearly high enough, and I cannot be bothered to do a damn thing about either.
(berk, Fri 19 Nov 2010, 23:45, Reply)

What have you got in that you can cook?
Any eggs? You could make an omlette in 5 minutes.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 19 Nov 2010, 23:47, Reply)

Almost nothing
I could sort some pasta out, but it's very late to be cooking and eating anything much. And I don't want to get up, either.
(berk, Fri 19 Nov 2010, 23:48, Reply)

And you don't think you're stoned?
Or is it just a general mood of apathy that has decended, based on recent events?
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 19 Nov 2010, 23:49, Reply)

I am a little stoned
a very little. This is just apathy.
(berk, Fri 19 Nov 2010, 23:50, Reply)

Come on berk
I know you've had a shitty week, but you need to snap out of this.

What are you doing tomorrow?
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 19 Nov 2010, 23:52, Reply)

Oh come on!
I'm allowed one evening of apathy. I'm just feeling low because I'm lonely. My parents are coming down tomorrow for the Christmas market.
(berk, Fri 19 Nov 2010, 23:54, Reply)

I can see why you'd be a bit low.
You folks are coming down and they are going to a market, rather than spending time with their daughter!

What part of the world are you in?
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 19 Nov 2010, 23:55, Reply)

Haha, they don't visit me
unless there's something else down here they want to see. I live in Birmingham.
(berk, Fri 19 Nov 2010, 23:56, Reply)

Birmingham you say, hmmm

( Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Fri 19 Nov 2010, 23:58, Reply)

I went to Birmingham once, true story

( Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Fri 19 Nov 2010, 23:58, Reply)

You and millions of other people, I would imagine...

(berk, Sat 20 Nov 2010, 0:02, Reply)

But they aren't here right now and I was telling the story

( Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Sat 20 Nov 2010, 0:04, Reply)

BullshitRing!
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sat 20 Nov 2010, 0:03, Reply)

Berk,
please stop killing yourself with illegal drugs.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 19 Nov 2010, 23:53, Reply)

I'm more likely to die of chocolate than weed
given my respective consumptions.
(berk, Fri 19 Nov 2010, 23:54, Reply)

Don't over dose on chocolate
Happened to a mate of mine, he was unconcious and then just Drifter-ed off.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 19 Nov 2010, 23:56, Reply)

I like this

( Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Fri 19 Nov 2010, 23:57, Reply)

GTFO
I can't believe I actually laughed at this...
(berk, Fri 19 Nov 2010, 23:58, Reply)

Well you started the 'Topic'

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 19 Nov 2010, 23:59, Reply)

What 'mars' I thinking?

(berk, Sat 20 Nov 2010, 0:03, Reply)

'Button' it berk
Take a 'Time Out'.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sat 20 Nov 2010, 0:04, Reply)

Shan't.
Snickers to you.
(berk, Sat 20 Nov 2010, 0:06, Reply)

You've been low, you need a 'Boost'

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sat 20 Nov 2010, 0:08, Reply)

You're right.
My mood has Yo-yo'd
(berk, Sat 20 Nov 2010, 0:10, Reply)

I'm glad you've
Pi-pi-pi-pic-pic-pic-pick-up a pick-uped my pengin.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sat 20 Nov 2010, 0:14, Reply)

Tenuous..

(berk, Sat 20 Nov 2010, 0:16, Reply)

It was a Dime sight better than some though.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sat 20 Nov 2010, 0:19, Reply)

These awful puns
are making me want to take 'flyte'
(berk, Sat 20 Nov 2010, 0:23, Reply)

Sounds like you've taken leave of your
'Senses'
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sat 20 Nov 2010, 0:24, Reply)

I think you're
Dairy Milking this now.
(berk, Sat 20 Nov 2010, 0:25, Reply)

I'm not on my
Toblerone though, am I?

If you find a reply, reply to the first post and I'll see you down the bottom of the page!)
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sat 20 Nov 2010, 0:27, Reply)

At this late hour,
the mind plays 'twix' on one, sometimes.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Sat 20 Nov 2010, 0:05, Reply)

You FUDGE packer
(Not a pun, granted, but I'm smiling at calling you a packer of fudge)
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sat 20 Nov 2010, 0:08, Reply)

At least I wait until they're 'after eight'
unlike you, you great nonce.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Sat 20 Nov 2010, 0:14, Reply)

At least I'm not a
'Fruit' who thinks with his 'Nuts'
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sat 20 Nov 2010, 0:20, Reply)

There'll be a bounty on your head if you keep this up

( Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Sat 20 Nov 2010, 0:05, Reply)

I heard that was.
But that was just a 'wispa'
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sat 20 Nov 2010, 0:17, Reply)

He'd been on a 'marathon' session though, right?
He'd been to a 'club', got a 'taxi' home (after waiting in vain for a 'double decker') and then just 'flaked' out, I'll wager.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Sat 20 Nov 2010, 0:04, Reply)

5-4-3-2-1 puns there Monty.
I'd have stopped at the 'Trio'
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sat 20 Nov 2010, 0:04, Reply)

Viscount the puns instead of just enjoying them?
You should take a 'breakaway' somewhere.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Sat 20 Nov 2010, 0:11, Reply)

I'm still shocked by the photo Bob posted.
It was like the black and white 'Minstrel(s)' show.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sat 20 Nov 2010, 0:16, Reply)

You remind me of that loony fan that speaks to Gervais in the pub on Extras.

(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Fri 19 Nov 2010, 23:38, Reply)

I never watched Extras.
I take it this isn't a compliment you are paying me.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 19 Nov 2010, 23:44, Reply)

It's no bad thing. It's just how I imagine what tone you'd ask the questions if you were speaking outloud.
More to amuse myself than anything.

3 mins 40 secs in - www.youtube.com/watch?v=2VCnz6iSe9o&feature=related
(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Fri 19 Nov 2010, 23:55, Reply)

Super stoned, just got in. Watched Gril with the dragon tattoo again.
Girl even. Thought I would see who was about innit.
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Fri 19 Nov 2010, 23:42, Reply)

Evening Bob
Why aren't you out with Uni girl this evening?
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 19 Nov 2010, 23:47, Reply)

she has gone home for the weekend and still early days yet.
Going out next week to watch harry plopper. I intend to rohypnol the shit out of her popcorn.
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Fri 19 Nov 2010, 23:51, Reply)

Nice.
You old charmer. Do they have cinemas in Newport, or is it all on betamax over there still?
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 19 Nov 2010, 23:53, Reply)

In over a year there not been to it but there is one. I will take her out in Bristol, maybe even the showcase deluxe
the lucky bithc
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Fri 19 Nov 2010, 23:54, Reply)

They're showing an exclusive Newport preview
of the latest blockbuster 'E.T.'
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 19 Nov 2010, 23:59, Reply)

Jaws and Gremlins should be on in the New Year too!

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sat 20 Nov 2010, 0:01, Reply)

I am here to spread my inimitable blend
of joy, happiness and positivity with you all.

Peace be with you, and blessings be upon you.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 19 Nov 2010, 23:52, Reply)

You love Jesus.
Alright Monty? Had a good evening?
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 19 Nov 2010, 23:53, Reply)

Quiet, yet pleasant.
I've watched a docco on Greek Myths, and some less engaging comedy upon what I believe the youth are calling 'BBC Iplayer'. I have also listened to the magic of James Marshall Hendrix.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 19 Nov 2010, 23:57, Reply)

How have the MDs been this evening?
Satisfactory?
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sat 20 Nov 2010, 0:00, Reply)

Way beyond satisfactory, and FREE OF CHARGE.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Sat 20 Nov 2010, 0:10, Reply)

WIN!
Powder and weed?
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sat 20 Nov 2010, 0:20, Reply)

Who are you and what have you done with Monty?

( Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Fri 19 Nov 2010, 23:54, Reply)

Why are you so cruel?
Karma, which I wholeheartedly believe in, in the form of the smack fairy, may pay a short sharp visit to botty-land if you carry on with this needless negativity.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Sat 20 Nov 2010, 0:01, Reply)

I have a picture for you, hang on.

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Fri 19 Nov 2010, 23:54, Reply)

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Fri 19 Nov 2010, 23:56, Reply)

Eh?

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sat 20 Nov 2010, 0:00, Reply)

I don't want to see that boy's grotesque sex-doll collection
and I am pretty sure I am not alone in this.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Sat 20 Nov 2010, 0:02, Reply)

I believe MASSIVE RACISM
is inferred - the black dolls are cheaper than the white ones.
(berk, Sat 20 Nov 2010, 0:04, Reply)

Ha! I didn't clock that at all!
*forwards to brother*
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Sat 20 Nov 2010, 0:09, Reply)

$3 is still more than I paid for my last slave

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sat 20 Nov 2010, 0:10, Reply)

Incidental Racism lols.
made me chuckle anyway.
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Sat 20 Nov 2010, 0:03, Reply)

monty's christmas present from me.

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Sat 20 Nov 2010, 0:04, Reply)

Hahaha
Normally I frown at the comedy t-shirt but this is a good one.

My favourite ever was a really subtle shirt in the Roger Dean logo for prog rock turds 'Yes', that simply read 'No'.

Aryanwear.com (a real site) sells a shirt with a colour pic of Hitler on it, with the legend 'I was right' in Germanic script. I don't think it's joke one though.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Sat 20 Nov 2010, 0:08, Reply)

See I can read you like a book! shot one, bang, forwarded to brother
shot two, bang, 'this is a good one'

I am some sort of genius.

edit - I am sort of genius massive twat
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Sat 20 Nov 2010, 0:10, Reply)

That t-shirt looks quite big Monty.
In fact, I'd say it was Ayran spacious.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sat 20 Nov 2010, 0:21, Reply)

What weird shoes.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sat 20 Nov 2010, 0:09, Reply)

I'm working at 7am tomorrow.
I should really go to bed, but I'm not tired.
( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Fri 19 Nov 2010, 23:57, Reply)

I needed to get up early once this week, any day I wanted, to go into uni and sort shitloads out with regards to changing my course.
I didn't do it once. Woke up at 6pm every time. I hate being so useless.
(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Sat 20 Nov 2010, 0:03, Reply)

If you've no incentive to get up early, you generally won't.
This was a feature of the human body clock that irritated me when I was dole a few years ago.

Strangely I'm better at getting up for a 6 or 7am start than I am for a 8 or 9am start.
( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Sat 20 Nov 2010, 0:19, Reply)

Thing is I do have an incentive.
I need to go in and sort a lot of stuff out. I'm running out of time.
(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Sat 20 Nov 2010, 0:27, Reply)

I think you might be before long
I'm liable to flake out at any second.
(berk, Sat 20 Nov 2010, 0:29, Reply)

Do you think so?
I'm 'raisin' my game, 'biscuit.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sat 20 Nov 2010, 0:30, Reply)

I think you'll have to
rolo over and give in soon...
(berk, Sat 20 Nov 2010, 0:32, Reply)

I think I've got you Ruffle-d.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sat 20 Nov 2010, 0:33, Reply)

Bueno sensible, eh?
I don't think so.
(berk, Sat 20 Nov 2010, 0:39, Reply)

Oooh.
A 'Ripple' of interest in another round.

What can you do now?
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sat 20 Nov 2010, 0:40, Reply)

I think you win
I just can't think of anything else now.
(berk, Sat 20 Nov 2010, 0:43, Reply)

You know why I win, don't you?
Only SMARTIES have the answer!
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sat 20 Nov 2010, 0:44, Reply)