the client we went out with last night
brought her boyfriend (well, i say "boyfriend", they are about 55) and apparently he prides himself on being shocking and unshockable.

he was no match for some of the phrases i have picked up from here. i wasn't sure whether to feel dirty or proud of myself by the end of the evening.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 22 Nov 2010, 10:52, 2 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

I claimed to be unshockable once,
soon after I decided never to say that again.
(PsychoChomp, Mon 22 Nov 2010, 10:53, Reply)

you can't tell half a story
go on, tell us the rest
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 22 Nov 2010, 10:54, Reply)

I was having a drink with two female friends
one whispersed something to the other and she burst out laughing and said "that's disgusting you grot bag"
I said something like "what is it I wont mind?"
After a bit of umming and arring she said that her tampon was hurting, I was eating at the time.
(PsychoChomp, Mon 22 Nov 2010, 10:58, Reply)

That's not bad.
It's not like she got the thing out to show you.
( girlinthehole, Mon 22 Nov 2010, 10:59, Reply)

....then wrapped it in a Rizla and sparked it up.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 22 Nov 2010, 11:04, Reply)

That really is terrible - Having no respect for the smoking ban.

(Cave Duck, Mon 22 Nov 2010, 11:06, Reply)

I know
You'd have to put the stringy end in your mouth, as well - how unpleasant.
(berk, Mon 22 Nov 2010, 11:12, Reply)

Either that, or you write "ACME" on the side
and set light to the stringy bit and pretend it's a cartoon bomb.
(LongJohnBaldry, Mon 22 Nov 2010, 11:14, Reply)

Haha great minds...

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 22 Nov 2010, 11:14, Reply)

*Bad taste high-fives*
great foul
(LongJohnBaldry, Mon 22 Nov 2010, 11:16, Reply)

Or light it from that end
like a stick of menstrual dynamite.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 22 Nov 2010, 11:14, Reply)

I wouldn't say that was particularly shocking or disgusting...

(berk, Mon 22 Nov 2010, 11:01, Reply)

GIRLS ARE HORRIBLE

(PsychoChomp, Mon 22 Nov 2010, 11:01, Reply)

i've got to admit
i would never dream of saying anything of that sort to anyone. oh dear, hope you weren't eating pizza/tomato soup.

mind you, it does serve you right for being nosey enough to ask. court rules: 100% contributory negligence.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 22 Nov 2010, 11:06, Reply)

SHE WAS BLEEDING FROM HER VAGINA!
That's a bit disgusting if you ask me.
(Bazongaloid, Mon 22 Nov 2010, 11:04, Reply)

well, al
as usual, nobody did ask you!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 22 Nov 2010, 11:09, Reply)

Yeah, well, fuck you swipey
go away and piss on poor people like you normally do
(Bazongaloid, Mon 22 Nov 2010, 11:11, Reply)

like they could afford my piss, al

( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 22 Nov 2010, 11:26, Reply)

Wrong hole

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 22 Nov 2010, 11:07, Reply)

Heh.
I too have done this recently. I felt sorry for the poor middle aged chap we were with - he looked terrified. And slightly ill.
(berk, Mon 22 Nov 2010, 10:55, Reply)

ha, which prime peaches did you trot out?

( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 22 Nov 2010, 11:03, Reply)

Can't remember anything specific now, I was drunk
I just remember that three people were howling with laughter and calling me a sick fucker, and one guy just looked petrified.
(berk, Mon 22 Nov 2010, 11:06, Reply)