That sounds likely to involve an unacceptable amount of teeth.

(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Wed 24 Nov 2010, 15:10, 2 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

No, I did ok.
It was my first post on here, I gave someone I erally liked a blowjob on said trampoline*, and at the end of it he looked down at me and said "Well done, [name]. Don't mean to sound patronising, but well done". The last time I sucked off the ex he did it to me too.
Either I'm decent or they feel sorry for me.


*I found out recently he was lying on his back looking up at the stars trying to work out how he got into that situation :(
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Wed 24 Nov 2010, 15:12, Reply)

Eeek
What a raging knobend. I'm surprised you didn't smash his face in - I'm fairly placid and I would have done...
(berk, Wed 24 Nov 2010, 15:19, Reply)

Surely, if you're already on a trampoline,
a high-altitude elbow-drop to the nuts would be the way forward?
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Wed 24 Nov 2010, 15:22, Reply)

This is a beautiful idea
have ten internet points.
(berk, Wed 24 Nov 2010, 15:25, Reply)

+ rebounds!

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 24 Nov 2010, 15:26, Reply)

Superb!
It hadn't occurred to me that on a trampoline, with a high enough start, you could get two or three elbow-drops for the price of one.
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Wed 24 Nov 2010, 15:28, Reply)

by no means the worst thing that's been said
I think the king of that has to be, at 6am, an ex I shagged because I was ver very very very drunk asked me to leave because he "wanted to go downstairs to play FIFA and pretend this never happened".

-takes a bow-
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Wed 24 Nov 2010, 15:23, Reply)

That should have seen him heading downstairs rather faster than he expected.
Then you could primly descend, maybe with a few choice tramplings on the way past. He'd look up at you as you paused at the door, and just as he begins to form the word "why?" you'd cut him off, wink and depart with "Of course, I was never here."
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Wed 24 Nov 2010, 15:27, Reply)

And you said the Barefoot Story wasn't interesting!

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Wed 24 Nov 2010, 15:34, Reply)

Not given the build-up, no.

(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Wed 24 Nov 2010, 15:35, Reply)

I think you hyped it up yourself.
I was a little traumatised though. But at least there was lots of sex.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Wed 24 Nov 2010, 15:38, Reply)

Fuuuuuuuuck
I think he's a good candidate for setting on fire. What a cunt!
(berk, Wed 24 Nov 2010, 15:27, Reply)

Haha, I then fucked him again 2 weeks later.
He's not even that good in bed. I'm just fucked up.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Wed 24 Nov 2010, 15:35, Reply)

Arguably a little, yes
You're still only barely out of your teens though. Everybody is fucked up and angsty at that age - I know I surely as hell was.

and look at me now, a paragon of normality! *gibbers*
(berk, Wed 24 Nov 2010, 15:38, Reply)

I would never normally give out such advice, but in this case I think it's definitely applicable
Carry a knife on you.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 24 Nov 2010, 15:30, Reply)

I love Lab.

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Wed 24 Nov 2010, 15:38, Reply)

b mp
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 24 Nov 2010, 15:40, Reply)

Maybe that's your calling in life
Identifying and eradicating those of gross cuntitude.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 24 Nov 2010, 15:40, Reply)

I just someone to be nice to me.

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Wed 24 Nov 2010, 15:44, Reply)

Are we playing fill in the blanks?

(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Wed 24 Nov 2010, 15:47, Reply)

You certainly deserve it

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 24 Nov 2010, 15:47, Reply)

you do need this

( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Wed 24 Nov 2010, 15:48, Reply)

Nobody is going to be nice to you unless you start being nice to yourself.
Sad but true.
( girlinthehole, Wed 24 Nov 2010, 15:49, Reply)

Yeah
"If you don't want to walked all over, then stop lying on the floor with "WELCOME" printed on your front"

Cave Duck's Big Book of Homilys - In shops now.
(Cave Duck, Wed 24 Nov 2010, 15:53, Reply)

^ this
also, if you can't even like yourself then what are the chances of other people managing it?
(berk, Wed 24 Nov 2010, 15:53, Reply)

Bah! I was saving that for volume II
Stop giving away my best material.
(Cave Duck, Wed 24 Nov 2010, 15:55, Reply)

I agree in principle
but it's not working with me and I certainly don't hate myself
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Wed 24 Nov 2010, 15:53, Reply)

Yes you do.
You just don't know it yet. *laughs*
( girlinthehole, Wed 24 Nov 2010, 15:54, Reply)

I really don't!
I whine about somethings like my legs/weight. But personality/mentally wise I'm actually alright with myself. I accepted a long time ago those are things you can't change
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Wed 24 Nov 2010, 15:55, Reply)

Lampito:
Throwing herself on life's man-grenades.
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Wed 24 Nov 2010, 15:46, Reply)

hahahahaha

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 24 Nov 2010, 17:04, Reply)

If there's no bouncing involved, why is the trampoline even relevant?

(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Wed 24 Nov 2010, 15:19, Reply)

Useful for thrusting.

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Wed 24 Nov 2010, 15:26, Reply)

I'm kind of assuming that they weren't actually bouncing about on the bloody thing like a pair of toddlers with ADHD
But I may be wrong though.
(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Wed 24 Nov 2010, 15:19, Reply)

Sounds unsafe to me.

(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Wed 24 Nov 2010, 15:20, Reply)