*tap dances*
*coughs*
*dies*

Edit - who deleted that tap dancing reference below? Own up right now.
(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Fri 26 Nov 2010, 9:32, 1 reply, 15 years ago)

+ blames passive smoking in jazz clubs

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 26 Nov 2010, 9:34, Reply)

What a tap-dancing, sputum-coughing, excuse-making, record-breaking puff..

(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Fri 26 Nov 2010, 9:35, Reply)

*verifies*
*is murdered by the IRA*
(Cave Duck, Fri 26 Nov 2010, 9:37, Reply)

You're a fucking Norris.

(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Fri 26 Nov 2010, 9:41, Reply)

One of my dad'sa best friends
married Norris McWhirter's daughter TRUFAX

This guy:
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/David_Lorimer

He is fucking insane. He once woke my parents up at 6am knocking at the front door asking for brandy because he had a sore stomach.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 26 Nov 2010, 9:43, Reply)

Did he feel better after the brandy?

(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Fri 26 Nov 2010, 9:45, Reply)

He used to go on incessantly about some fucking Turkish 'guru' chappie
and wore David Icke-style eyeball-searing shell suits.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 26 Nov 2010, 9:47, Reply)

I bet you two got up to all sort of jolly japes.

(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Fri 26 Nov 2010, 9:56, Reply)

I heard some bollocks on the radio this morning
the WHO (not the band) have said that 1% of all deaths are caused by passive smoking

sounded like complete bollocks to me
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 26 Nov 2010, 9:45, Reply)

They would have checked their figures properly,
they're one of the most rigorous bodies in the world.
The people reporting them however...
(PsychoChomp, Fri 26 Nov 2010, 9:50, Reply)

I just can't bring myself to believe it. I doubt 600,000 smokers a year die from directly related things

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 26 Nov 2010, 9:53, Reply)

Yeah, the idea that cigarette smoke might cause any kind of illness
is palpably ridiculous, the cigarette companies would be sure to tell you if that was the case.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 26 Nov 2010, 9:56, Reply)

that's not what I'm saying and you know it
spastic
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 26 Nov 2010, 9:57, Reply)

Meh, it wouldn't be far off.

(PsychoChomp, Fri 26 Nov 2010, 9:58, Reply)

i heard the other day that living in london
or another big city is equivalent to smoking for 2 years or something ridiculous, and they could tell where you lived by looking at your lungs on an autopsy (obviously not to identify the city itself).

might be time to move out to the countryside earlier than i planned...
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 26 Nov 2010, 9:51, Reply)

you should move to Devon
it's awesome down here.

The air is so clear we all have to smoke to make up for it.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 26 Nov 2010, 9:53, Reply)

Ahh, but you're forgeting all of the salt that you're passively taking in from the sea air.

(Cave Duck, Fri 26 Nov 2010, 9:57, Reply)

it's good for you

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 26 Nov 2010, 9:57, Reply)

there's not much law going on down there though
i remember needing to instruct a barrister in cornwall, could i find one?!?
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 26 Nov 2010, 10:04, Reply)

Cornwall isn't Devon
there's plenty of law. Kept my dad busy.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 26 Nov 2010, 10:16, Reply)

what kind of law did he do again?
i love london, but not forever and ever...
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 26 Nov 2010, 10:21, Reply)

when up there it was criminal defence
CPS down here. not particularly useful for you I admit...
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 26 Nov 2010, 10:24, Reply)