It started off when I was answering a question about what superpower I'd like to have
"Flying - Wow! It's awesome! Who wouldn't want to fly? Well, me for a start. I'm assuming this really is a one power only thing, and so the only special thing about you would be that you could fly. So, you'd freeze to death, or not be able to breathe. I call that one a FAIL. Even if I'm wrong, and you don't die, it'd still be a bit shit because it's a really obvious superpower, and once people knew you could fly it'd be all like "Ooh save me!" and even if you couldn't be arsed or were busy or drunk or some shit like that. Also, once people know you can fly, your city is under constant attack. DO YOU KNOW HOW MUCH COUNCIL TAX WOULD GO UP IF THERE WAS A MONSTER/SUPERVILLIAN ATTACK EVERY WEEK?!?! It's just selfish really."

disclaimer: above may have been written while drunk, but I can't be arsed to tidy it up.
(BelladonnaAnodyne Melissa's gonna wet herself, I swear..., Tue 7 Dec 2010, 10:26, 1 reply, 15 years ago)

Here are my thoughts
On superpowers
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 10:28, Reply)

I love it!

(BelladonnaAnodyne Melissa's gonna wet herself, I swear..., Tue 7 Dec 2010, 10:30, Reply)

How many of those did you do?
I loved them :)
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 10:36, Reply)

Cheers!
Probably 10 or 15? I lost inspiration after getting bollocked by work for emailing them out to everyone...
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 10:39, Reply)

they are good, but I can see why work might bollock you for it

(BelladonnaAnodyne Melissa's gonna wet herself, I swear..., Tue 7 Dec 2010, 10:46, Reply)

Oddly, the final straw was an email that didn't contain a comic
I tried to set a new policy for improving morale by enforcing the giving of high fives if you pass someone on the stairs.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 10:48, Reply)

I hide little notes around the bar
I won't lie, most of them are just funny swearwords. But it makes people laugh when they open the wine machine and there's an obscene picture stuck behind the door so customers can't see.
(BelladonnaAnodyne Melissa's gonna wet herself, I swear..., Tue 7 Dec 2010, 10:52, Reply)

Minor acts of workplace terrorism rock!

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 10:53, Reply)

I have also invented several games
My favourite was 'bar tennis'. It had to stop when we nearly killed a customer though :( They're always getting in the way of my fun at work.
(BelladonnaAnodyne Melissa's gonna wet herself, I swear..., Tue 7 Dec 2010, 10:56, Reply)

We did an minor one, but the boss got really annoyed, so we cut back on it
We stuck this up all round the building, after he'd had CCTV installed to spy on people.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 10:57, Reply)

I like both of these
and shall implement them in our office forthwith!

We have the "terrorcock" where if someone leaves their notepad unattended, a massive cock is drawn about 10 pages in
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 10:57, Reply)

We enjoy the old classic of going to someone elses pc, and pressing CTRL+ALT+Down
Flips the screen, on some PCs.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 11:04, Reply)

For all the thought that we apparently all put into fucking about at work
We could probably solved world hunger or something by now.
(BelladonnaAnodyne Melissa's gonna wet herself, I swear..., Tue 7 Dec 2010, 11:06, Reply)

Not as much fun though, is it?

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 11:19, Reply)

Nah
I'm working on a comic/article at the moment titled "the ten things you do that make barmaids think you're a cunt". Debating whether to leave copies lying around at work...
(BelladonnaAnodyne Melissa's gonna wet herself, I swear..., Tue 7 Dec 2010, 11:21, Reply)

Put it on the back of the menus

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 11:25, Reply)

Pfftt, no menus
I work in a real pub. The closest you'll get to a meal is a pint of stout and a packet of pork scratchings.
(BelladonnaAnodyne Melissa's gonna wet herself, I swear..., Tue 7 Dec 2010, 11:27, Reply)

Stout is pitiful in comparison to Ale
*runs*
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 11:29, Reply)

Yes but stout is more filling, which is why I said that.

(BelladonnaAnodyne Melissa's gonna wet herself, I swear..., Tue 7 Dec 2010, 11:32, Reply)

I love this one...
superuseless.blogspot.com/
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 10:49, Reply)

Not read that in a while
Shame it's not updated much, some awesome ideas there.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 10:52, Reply)