I don't feel terribly well.
But tonight I am seeing Roky Erickson in Camden. I am torn between excitement at seeing a true pioneer performing his (fucking twisted) magical tunes, and excitement at getting back into bed afterwards.

A day of opposites. You?
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 9:29, 164 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

Yes!
I'm excited about the weekend but worried about Gilbert and I'm a bit under the weather.
( girlinthehole, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 9:35, Reply)

I think I'm staying in London this weekend.
The only way of getting out west would be to cancel my visit with my child and I cannot do that, I'm afraid.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 9:42, Reply)

That's a shame but understandable.

( girlinthehole, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 9:46, Reply)

It's a shame indeed.
My limited access and inflexible ex makes this kind of jaunt nigh on impossible for me, sadly.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 9:54, Reply)

Hopefully things will change in the future.
She seems to be slowly mellowing.
( girlinthehole, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 10:05, Reply)

I've got a cold coming on it seems, so I'm not too happy about that
Unfortunately, if I get a thick head at work, I cease to function, so I'm going to start on the Lemsip this morning, hopefully clear my head a little.

I'm still on a high from a fantastic weekend though, and get to sleep in tomorrow!

Alright Monts?
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 9:36, Reply)

Been worse.
I feel like I'm coming down with something, myself. I feel sluggish and lethargic.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 9:38, Reply)

Lemsip Max Strength is fucking magic in these circumstances
I get the blackcurrant stuff that you dissolve in water, rather than the capsules.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 9:40, Reply)

I ran out of Lemsip last week so I made my own
I got the lemon:honey ratio wrong though so it was really fucking tart. And I'm pretty sure the whiskey just tricked me into thinking I was feeling better.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 9:42, Reply)

Oof, not good

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 9:43, Reply)

You're really a fucking tart

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 10:10, Reply)

You wish you were fucking a tart

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 10:12, Reply)

Tru dat
But I'd wait for it to cool down a bit to save a trip to the burns and plastics ward.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 10:16, Reply)

Oof, hot treacle to the helmet...

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 10:17, Reply)

you could ask for a different shaped one
maybe a hammerhead.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 10:17, Reply)

That'd make insertion more difficult
Maybe a barbed end to stop them running away?
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 10:19, Reply)

like those parasitic fish that swim up your bits when you pee in the Amazon?!

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 10:22, Reply)

Only BIGGER
Much bigger.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 10:25, Reply)

I can highly recommend Vick's first defence nasal spray for the beginning of a cold.
Always seems to kick mine into touch.
( girlinthehole, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 9:40, Reply)

I just want this day to be over
but when I get home I have to pay council tax, do some paperwork, tidy my room and the kitchen and do some ironing, which is probably more boring than what I've got to do at work.
(PsychoChomp, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 9:40, Reply)

my Sim's life is more exciting than that.

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 9:41, Reply)

True, but your life isn't.

(PsychoChomp, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 9:42, Reply)

it's like being a single mum without all the hassle of a baby.

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 9:50, Reply)

I too have a list of crap to do when I get home
Then, well, you know what I'll be doing *conspiratorial nod*
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 10:11, Reply)

chin exercises?

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 10:18, Reply)

I'd prefer chin exorcises.

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 10:20, Reply)

I do know,
*nods* I haven't got it yet but I was you know where you know when.
(PsychoChomp, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 10:23, Reply)

I'm making a black and white stripey corset for a customer which looks really cool so I'm happy
but I'm all alone in the house all day and all night this week so I'm a bit sad. I also have lots of college work to do which I keep ignoring because it's hard.

I'm going to try and experiment with rainbow cakes this afternoon to see if I can use a biscuit icing thing (which looks like a giant comedy syringe) to layer the colours better. I'm hoping I can be all "BOOM PURPLE! BOOM BLUE" etc.

You probably don't find any of those things interesting.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 9:41, Reply)

Are they going to look like a zebra when they wear it?
Is the college work in any way interesting, or just boring and hard?
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 9:42, Reply)

No it's more carnival style than zebra.
I did make a bee corset once though because I found ribbon that had bees on it.

I do actually find the college work really interesting, but when I say it's hard I mean it's time consuming really. On the particular module I'm doing I've got to collect together information, brochures and samples from companies like stone masons and joiners before I can write an essay to answer the question, so it's the faffing around of emailing companies and requesting a brochure before I can actually sit down and answer the question. The essay writing is fine, I can rattle off an essay in an hour but collecting all the info is annoying. And I then get bombarded with phone calls and emails asking me when I want to install the oak flooring I requested a sample for.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 9:53, Reply)

How right you are.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 9:43, Reply)

I am only teasing.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 9:43, Reply)

Or are you?

( Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 9:44, Reply)

Teasing - BUT WITH A SERIOUS MESSAGE BEHIND IT.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 9:45, Reply)

Your interested that she's alone at night all week I would guess.

(PsychoChomp, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 9:44, Reply)

"You're" projecting again

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 10:12, Reply)

jo is most excited about her christmas corset
i am seeing her on sat, so we will be discussing colours, styles etc!

edit - clearly i mean "christmas present", i am not buying her something with a reindeer on it!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 9:44, Reply)

She emailed me last night
She wanted to know where my shop is so she could come in, so I've explained it's internet based. Is she a London friend? If she's in Manchester I've told her I'm happy to meet her, but I assume she's a Londoner.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 9:54, Reply)

nope, she's in manchester
well, alderley edge, but close enough to meet up in town i reckon!

she might well also be interested in the pole dancing if you mention it, she's done all sorts of belly dancing and salsa dance classes before, so pole would be something new.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 9:57, Reply)

ooh excellent
I'm doing a pole photoshoot on Sunday to get my website up and running so I can host sexy parties and the like.

If she can meet me I was going to ask her to come to Bar 38 anyway so maybe I can persuade her to join a class
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 10:01, Reply)

i wouldn't be surprised if she's keen, definitely
mind you, the one who would be amazing at pole is amy, the bugger is a trained dancer as well as a top employment lawyer, i hate going clubbing with her as she makes me feel like a polar bear dancing with a gazelle. will have to bring her up to manchester at some point!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 10:07, Reply)

haha that's an excellent combination, lawyer by day, hot dancer by night.
I'd love to meet her and thank her in person.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 10:09, Reply)

i will try and drag her up at some point next year
you'd love ames, she's hysterical. if ever anyone has really pissed me off, i can guarantee she will have some vitriol to cheer me right up. let me see if i can find the last one, hang on:

on second thoughts, i'll gaz it to you!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 10:30, Reply)

Ever done a pinstripe corset?
That'd be better than a stripey one. Pinstripe's hot.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 10:16, Reply)

Not yet, but funnily enough I drew one in my projects book at the weekend
great minds, etc
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 10:18, Reply)

I would have thought you'd have made one by now
I heartily endorse you making them for hot girls.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 10:21, Reply)

I'm on it.
I'll name it after you.

Not really, your name is fadge.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 10:22, Reply)

Woo!
*reads the rest*
Aww
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 10:23, Reply)

i have just had to spend £100 on 100 coat hangers from john lewis
because i simply cannot find anywhere else that sells them online. well ok, i only looked there. even i feel this to be a total waste of money. they are only plastic ones!

this is a combination of having to buy loads of new clothes because the ones i was wearing now look ridiculously baggy (yay for the gym) but i can't get back into my super-skinny ones yes (doom for the christmas holidays) and having a new flatmate who might want to hang something up, the selfish bitch.

i am also trying to fit all the stuff from the double wardrobe and chest of drawers in my spare room into my room so she actually has somewhere to put her stuff. it is like trying to stuff a saveloy into a cocktail sausage :(
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 9:55, Reply)

They sell 10 coathangers for £3 in Asda.
My sister had to reduce her wardrobe by a third because she decided to live on a narrowboat. Her wardrobe is still bigger than mine at home though. We have 3 wardrobes but Wiggy will only let me use one of them, the bastard.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 9:58, Reply)

I have 2 wardrobes stuffed full here
and another and 2 chests of drawers that are only a little shorter than me at home.

SO MUCH CLOTHES
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 10:01, Reply)

I've had to cram all mine into my single wardrobe
when Wiggy gets a full chest of drawers and wardrobe that's half empty. But I'm not allowed to use the empty half. He just wants me to suffer.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 10:03, Reply)

my friend vik and her husband have just bought a house in wilmslow
it's 4 beds, and she has the 4th bedroom as her dressing room. he gets one single wardrobe in their room!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 10:07, Reply)

your rich friends make me sad.
I applied for a couple of jobs in Wilmslow, my sister works there too and she said it's like a Top Gear playground on Friday afternoons outside.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 10:10, Reply)

wilmslow and alderley are lovely
but they are so pretentious, they are full of permatanned women in too-tight short skirts with giant boobs and sports cars with personalised plates.

I DON'T HAVE A PERMATAN, before you say anything.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 10:24, Reply)

Burn his clothes while he sleeps
TAKE ALL THAT HE LOVES FROM HIM
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 10:08, Reply)

O_o

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 10:10, Reply)

I reckon I have over 50 black t shirts with bands on.
This makes Jack a dull boy.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 10:03, Reply)

How many flowery dresses do you think I have :(

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 10:07, Reply)

From what you post on here
there is more than "No play"
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 10:08, Reply)

Ah yes. You have a point.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 10:10, Reply)

50?! Is that it?
I have 120 t-shirts, but they're not all black. Some of them are white.
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 10:15, Reply)

Alright Vincent?

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 10:16, Reply)

Morning :D
In a fit of ironic desperation I asked someone on Sunday if they thought I looked like VC.

They said yes!

*crotch-thrusts*
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 10:18, Reply)

You certainly do look like Vic Chesnutt
you fucking spastic.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 10:19, Reply)

His hair isn't as hipster as mine.

(Himjim died a little more inside on, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 10:20, Reply)

I never noticed his hair.
Too busy laughing at the wheelchair.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 10:23, Reply)

It's the hardest part of a vegetable you know.

(Himjim died a little more inside on, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 10:24, Reply)

I dunno, I find them pretty hard to understand
They're so rude, is there really any need for all that belming?
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 10:26, Reply)

It's where they keep their chewing gum...
*belms*
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 10:34, Reply)

Stop it. Stop it you hear.
I won't have the man who wrote "You can see in that fancy cup that even her freakish nipples are akimbo" mocked, I simply won't.
Especially now that he's DEAD.
(Cave Duck, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 10:45, Reply)

Oooh, I know which T-shirt you should buy next.


All of your favourite things combined.
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 10:36, Reply)

Fuckynge hellfyre.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 11:02, Reply)

Amongst the songs likely to be played tonight
is the classic 'I Walked with a Zombie'. I will think of you all and belm into my Simpsons tie when I hear it.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 9:56, Reply)

If you do a search with the word Zombie
you'll find you're the one who talks about it more than anyone.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 9:59, Reply)

I haz a sad now :(((((((((1111

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 10:04, Reply)

¬.¬
LOOK MONTY I'M USING PUNCTUATION IMPROPERLY TO DISPLAY MY EMOTIONS ONLINE!

This one is scowling at you.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 10:11, Reply)

This one: - - - - - - - -
displays that I care notte one jotte for your symple wayes.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 10:15, Reply)

16th Century Englishe
onn thee internette?
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 10:18, Reply)

Yea verilie.
I am sorelie temptydde to make all mine postes in the style of Samuel Pepys todaye.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 10:23, Reply)

i would love this
i work quite near where he used to hang around, there are plaques everywhere.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 10:25, Reply)

I fucking LOVE Samuel Pepys.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 10:28, Reply)

if he was telling the truth
he was a bit of a legend
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 10:41, Reply)

I love his humanity.
He's a fucking bounder; self-serving, selfish and rude, but also disarmingly aware of his weaknesses.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 10:42, Reply)

he seems to have bedded wenches
in every corner of the citie
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 10:48, Reply)

That was what one did as a powerful gent in those days.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 10:51, Reply)

Thys^

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 10:27, Reply)

I feare
that after a whyle ytte might become 'fuckynge shytte'
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 10:38, Reply)

I found your Christmas present
aryanwear.com/images/camp_auschwitz_hoodie.jpg
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 10:39, Reply)

That site has so may awesome white power/Nazi t shirts

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 10:42, Reply)

Lol soap disclaimer
aryanwear.com/nazi-soap-iron-eagle-p-1365.html
( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 10:49, Reply)

hahah fucking hell, tasteful in extremis.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 10:51, Reply)

Forsoothe, iyt shalle go onn too longe

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 10:49, Reply)

Same with Nom as well I would think.

(PsychoChomp, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 10:21, Reply)

I want it to be Thursday
By Thursday I will know if the annual boiler servicing has once again broken my boiler or not.
And there is the small matter of a long weekend with my fee-awn-say starting Thursday night.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 10:06, Reply)

Blousie do you have a catflap?

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 10:06, Reply)

Personal question!

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 10:07, Reply)

I didn't ask if she had bloomers with a trap-door

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 10:08, Reply)

You just did......pervert!

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 10:08, Reply)

oops

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 10:12, Reply)

...or are you just pleased to see me?

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 10:08, Reply)

Oh Monty
you menace
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 10:12, Reply)

I do Roota.
Hopefully he'll be there waiting for me when I get home tonight. He has disappeared for a couple of days before but not in such cold weather.
( girlinthehole, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 10:09, Reply)

My mate's cat went missing in snow.
Turned out he'd been holed up with some family, eating them out of house and home and charming their children.
I will pray to St Francis.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 10:10, Reply)

Thank you : )

( girlinthehole, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 10:11, Reply)

When one of our cats went missing, I ended up having to partly dismantle the garage to rescue him. He was a crap cat.
I'm not religious, so will sing Ian Dury's Lullaby For Franc(i/e)s and just hope for his safe return.
(Cave Duck, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 10:29, Reply)

Gilbert loves his food so for him not to turn up for dinner is a BIG thing.
George doesn't seem to be missing him.
( girlinthehole, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 10:32, Reply)

Half of me is getting really angry about the proposed changes to the NHS and the DWP
The other half of me is thinking about the downsides to superpowers so I can draw a cartoon about it, and being stupidly happy that I managed to steal some cheese from my Mum's house this morning so I don't have to eat crisps for tea again, and can spend all my money on lovely fags.
(BelladonnaAnodyne Melissa's gonna wet herself, I swear..., Tue 7 Dec 2010, 10:15, Reply)

I think you should draw a cartoon about the Downs side of superpowers.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 10:16, Reply)

Like so?

CFB
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 10:18, Reply)

Yup, and that horrendous yet utterly endearing pic Gonz has
of the Downs Boy in the Superman outfit.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 10:22, Reply)

I might just do that
I have nothing to do for the rest of the day. I mean, I could do something useful. But I won't.
(BelladonnaAnodyne Melissa's gonna wet herself, I swear..., Tue 7 Dec 2010, 10:20, Reply)

Y'hear that AA?
Sounds like she's going to shower you with gifts!
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 10:18, Reply)

ahahahha!

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 10:18, Reply)

haha!

(BelladonnaAnodyne Melissa's gonna wet herself, I swear..., Tue 7 Dec 2010, 10:23, Reply)

Wait a sec, she's into that sort of thing? It's nice to see people open to expermenting with new things, it's rare to find that.
I never know how to abroach the subject with someone though, do you just suprise them? Does it go into a game of "Truth or Dare" where you can't back out? Is there some sort of game of Chicken ?

The worst bit is when someone calls the safe word half way through and you can't quite stop mid stream, that's why my safety word is "Pxygygix ?!?!#123~~!".
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 10:45, Reply)

I saw a cartoon once about the worst superpowers
it had stuff like 'flying, but only in really awkward positions' and had the guy half sitting down whilst flying. It was pretty funny, but I can't find it now.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 10:24, Reply)

Like powdered toast man?
Who can only fly backwards
( Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 10:26, Reply)

Who sung this?
By that, I mean what was Powdered Toast man out of??
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 10:30, Reply)

Ren and Stimpy
Class all round. My ringtone for my brother is " Steeempy! You EEEDIOT!!!"
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 11:00, Reply)

It started off when I was answering a question about what superpower I'd like to have
"Flying - Wow! It's awesome! Who wouldn't want to fly? Well, me for a start. I'm assuming this really is a one power only thing, and so the only special thing about you would be that you could fly. So, you'd freeze to death, or not be able to breathe. I call that one a FAIL. Even if I'm wrong, and you don't die, it'd still be a bit shit because it's a really obvious superpower, and once people knew you could fly it'd be all like "Ooh save me!" and even if you couldn't be arsed or were busy or drunk or some shit like that. Also, once people know you can fly, your city is under constant attack. DO YOU KNOW HOW MUCH COUNCIL TAX WOULD GO UP IF THERE WAS A MONSTER/SUPERVILLIAN ATTACK EVERY WEEK?!?! It's just selfish really."

disclaimer: above may have been written while drunk, but I can't be arsed to tidy it up.
(BelladonnaAnodyne Melissa's gonna wet herself, I swear..., Tue 7 Dec 2010, 10:26, Reply)

Here are my thoughts
On superpowers
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 10:28, Reply)

I love it!

(BelladonnaAnodyne Melissa's gonna wet herself, I swear..., Tue 7 Dec 2010, 10:30, Reply)

How many of those did you do?
I loved them :)
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 10:36, Reply)

Cheers!
Probably 10 or 15? I lost inspiration after getting bollocked by work for emailing them out to everyone...
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 10:39, Reply)

they are good, but I can see why work might bollock you for it

(BelladonnaAnodyne Melissa's gonna wet herself, I swear..., Tue 7 Dec 2010, 10:46, Reply)

Oddly, the final straw was an email that didn't contain a comic
I tried to set a new policy for improving morale by enforcing the giving of high fives if you pass someone on the stairs.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 10:48, Reply)

I hide little notes around the bar
I won't lie, most of them are just funny swearwords. But it makes people laugh when they open the wine machine and there's an obscene picture stuck behind the door so customers can't see.
(BelladonnaAnodyne Melissa's gonna wet herself, I swear..., Tue 7 Dec 2010, 10:52, Reply)

Minor acts of workplace terrorism rock!

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 10:53, Reply)

I have also invented several games
My favourite was 'bar tennis'. It had to stop when we nearly killed a customer though :( They're always getting in the way of my fun at work.
(BelladonnaAnodyne Melissa's gonna wet herself, I swear..., Tue 7 Dec 2010, 10:56, Reply)

We did an minor one, but the boss got really annoyed, so we cut back on it
We stuck this up all round the building, after he'd had CCTV installed to spy on people.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 10:57, Reply)

I like both of these
and shall implement them in our office forthwith!

We have the "terrorcock" where if someone leaves their notepad unattended, a massive cock is drawn about 10 pages in
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 10:57, Reply)

We enjoy the old classic of going to someone elses pc, and pressing CTRL+ALT+Down
Flips the screen, on some PCs.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 11:04, Reply)

For all the thought that we apparently all put into fucking about at work
We could probably solved world hunger or something by now.
(BelladonnaAnodyne Melissa's gonna wet herself, I swear..., Tue 7 Dec 2010, 11:06, Reply)

Not as much fun though, is it?

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 11:19, Reply)

Nah
I'm working on a comic/article at the moment titled "the ten things you do that make barmaids think you're a cunt". Debating whether to leave copies lying around at work...
(BelladonnaAnodyne Melissa's gonna wet herself, I swear..., Tue 7 Dec 2010, 11:21, Reply)

Put it on the back of the menus

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 11:25, Reply)

Pfftt, no menus
I work in a real pub. The closest you'll get to a meal is a pint of stout and a packet of pork scratchings.
(BelladonnaAnodyne Melissa's gonna wet herself, I swear..., Tue 7 Dec 2010, 11:27, Reply)

Stout is pitiful in comparison to Ale
*runs*
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 11:29, Reply)

Yes but stout is more filling, which is why I said that.

(BelladonnaAnodyne Melissa's gonna wet herself, I swear..., Tue 7 Dec 2010, 11:32, Reply)

I love this one...
superuseless.blogspot.com/
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 10:49, Reply)

Not read that in a while
Shame it's not updated much, some awesome ideas there.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 10:52, Reply)

There was a *cough* roleplay game called Stuper Powers
One was 'prehensile nipples', another was the ability to summon Buddha (only he wouldn't do anything other than sit there looking smug and saying hippy shite).
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 10:26, Reply)

Buddha Vipros
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 10:29, Reply)

Didn't Natasha Henstridge have those when she turned into the big alien at the end of Species?

(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 10:39, Reply)

I will have to watch this again to check
In order to do this scientifically, I need to watch this alone...
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 10:40, Reply)

It's good scientific practice to conduct the experiment without your trousers.

(LongJohnBaldry, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 10:43, Reply)

Thank you, fellow scientist!

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 10:48, Reply)

I frequently find it's a better experiment all round if I leave my trousers at the door of the lab.

Erm...not you, the other sort of lab...
(LongJohnBaldry, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 10:53, Reply)

rador?
That's Jeff's field of expertise.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 10:54, Reply)

But they do look so hot in my trousers...

(LongJohnBaldry, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 10:56, Reply)

I've got to go to a tute in five minutes
with any luck the day will get better after that. I am obscenely tired though
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 10:24, Reply)

I'm reviewing documentation
which includes the sentence "Development solutions to fulfil user requirements will include enhancements via additional and new functionality to enhance existing current business processes whether manual or automated."

Quite apart from "Enhancements... to enhance" being an abomination, it's just meaningless. And there's another 30 pages of this.

On the upside, when I get home tonight I will have a slow-cooker full of venison stew. I took your advice, Monty, and it's 1/3 stewing beef. I'll be adding the wine for the last hour of cooking and some mushrooms and serving it with parsnip mash. I CAN'T WAIT.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 10:38, Reply)

You wylle thanke me.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 10:41, Reply)

So what's the benefit of cutting it with a small amount of cow?

(LongJohnBaldry, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 10:42, Reply)

I assume it'll stop the venison from drying out

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 10:47, Reply)

It makes it a little less dense and the fat adds richness,
as venison has almost none. Also the variety of texture is pleasing.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 10:49, Reply)

Makes sense
That does sound very agreeable.
Edit: Since I've got you on meat, know ye of a goode recipe involving taile of oxen?
(LongJohnBaldry, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 10:54, Reply)

Not specifically
but I have had some fucking great oxtail in Jamaican places. I'd look into a Caribbean recipe.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 11:00, Reply)

+my

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 11:02, Reply)

It got the thumbs up from my cook friend
unlike Chompy's roux suggestion which got a scornful chuckle and some headshaking.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 11:04, Reply)

I have finished
wallpapering the sitting room, a project which has been plagued with difficulty for I am crap at this......
Today I shall be painting but can't decide which colour to go for.I like quite bold colours but it is a very small room with not much light. At the moment I am sat shivering, lightheaded and nauseous with very poor vision in one eye - last time I sleep in my lenses.
(Purpledoris I've got afeckin' job, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 10:53, Reply)

Ouch!
Lense pain is bad! Get your eyes burned better!
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 10:58, Reply)

thought about it
but decided against it - apparently it can cause problems with night vision and mine is rather poor to begin with. Not in pain, just foggy vision......
(Purpledoris I've got afeckin' job, Tue 7 Dec 2010, 11:01, Reply)