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This is a question Lies that got out of control

Ever claimed you could speak a foreign language to impress friends, colleagues and/or get laid? Make a twat of yourself - and I couldn't possibly comment - saying you were the godson of the chairman of BP? Tell us how your porkies have caught up with you

(Thanks to augsav and Sandettie Light Vessel Automatic for the suggestions)

(I helped save b3ta! Scaryduck LIKES EGG, Thu 12 Aug 2010, 13:03)
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Not me
A lad who used to work for our firm, was constantly late or just not there on Mondays.

So he gets pulled into the office and asked to explain. His answer:

"I have AIDS"

Where on earth do you go from there?
(mymilkshakebringsallthemongstotheyard poison hearts, poison minds - joining hate, Wed 18 Aug 2010, 13:26, 14 replies)
The morgue?

(I helped save b3ta! Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Wed 18 Aug 2010, 13:31, closed)
Up the arse of your boss without a blob?

(I helped save b3ta! broadsword w⚓, Wed 18 Aug 2010, 13:40, closed)
Punch the German
Bitch in the face ;)
(bROKEN aRROW PUA HVI Master, Wed 18 Aug 2010, 13:46, closed)
Guy I worked with
said he had bollock cancer. Then continued to have time off for his fictitional appointments.

Then refused to see the company quack or allow them to contact his GP.

In the end they offered him the opportunity to resign before he was sacked. He resigned.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Wed 18 Aug 2010, 13:46, closed)
Fool
He should of gone for the age old classic - depression.
(bROKEN aRROW PUA HVI Master, Wed 18 Aug 2010, 13:49, closed)
I know
We all knew about it too. We would talk to him in the pub and say either 'fess up or go and see your doctor and tell him what you have done.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Wed 18 Aug 2010, 13:53, closed)
Where to go from there? Just ask the obvious.
Good AIDS or bad AIDS?
(I helped save b3ta! Muns, Wed 18 Aug 2010, 13:52, closed)
I have AIDS
but only on Mondays.
(I helped save b3ta! stopmeandslapme Cometh the hour, cometh your mum, Wed 18 Aug 2010, 14:26, closed)
Mondaids

(I helped save b3ta! broadsword w⚓, Wed 18 Aug 2010, 14:36, closed)
Fonz...
Mondaids, Tuesdaids happy aids...
(I helped save b3ta! sandettie light vessel automatic New Twitter - @bollocksreally, Wed 18 Aug 2010, 14:39, closed)
Bandaids

(bROKEN aRROW PUA HVI Master, Wed 18 Aug 2010, 15:01, closed)
Is it
terrible that that made me laugh out loud?
(dchurch bah, Wed 18 Aug 2010, 20:10, closed)
Aids
Alcohol Induced Dizzy Spells

so perhaps he wasn't lying.....
(Purpledoris I've got afeckin' job, Wed 18 Aug 2010, 18:01, closed)
To a hospice, usually

(TheManWithThePlan cussed your mum on, Wed 18 Aug 2010, 16:20, closed)

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