Im much snobbier than you
Oddly, it has been suggested that I am abit posh. However, I honestly believe that the people who make this accusation are slightly mistaken.
They seem to think that just because I don’t leave out letters in words (See! le-T-T-ers, not le'ers - it's the same with bu-T-T-er, it's not bu'her) it makes me posh. Its not posh its just pronouncing the words correctly.

They also think that I'm very clever, because once I had an argument with a whole table of people who were insisting that gravity is caused by the planet spinning.
As much as I told them that it wasn't, and explained about mass attracting mass, they just didn't get it.
So they asked their cleverest friend, who they considered a fucking genius, who agreed that it was caused by the planet spinning. It took a while and an internet connection for me to prove my point. I've still not forgiven their ignorance though.

Morons.

Oh, by the way, ASDA Cava does not taste "Just the same" as Champagne. So stop saying it. In fact, most own brand goods don't taste the same. Just buy the good stuff. Stop being so pikey.

Im not posh, just a snob. But I like it that way. Poor people smell and are stupid and I just don’t like being around them.
I was brought up in a small village, unsurprisingly.

edit: Browser - happy now? I might release the hounds. Also, with no spelling errors in my post, your post looks silly. Heh.
(grr_boy, Tue 20 Sep 2005, 13:13, Reply)

Common as muck,me
As a child of about 7 or 8,a mate of mine had come after school for tea,after the fashion of the time.We were having chops,consumed by picking them up by the bone.My friend,who in retrospect isn't really all that posh at all,said "In our house,we have silver paper on the ends of the chops to keep our hands clean."
To which my good old dad replied, "In our house we have soap and water.Go and wash your hands"
(archroy Get down wi' yer bad self., Tue 20 Sep 2005, 12:21, Reply)

Am I posh?
I can do that twisty-wrist thing when pouring out wine to stop the drips. I was taught by a Virgin Airlines hostess who by the way also made up the short-fall in her salary by knocking out moody Louis V and Gucci bags! She thought she was posh, had the voice and all. Turns out she was nothing more than a petty crook. I cant wait til my mate starts as a Copper and I dob her in for a community action reward. Thanks for the twisty-wrist technique though.
(AveUseenIT, Tue 20 Sep 2005, 12:15, Reply)

The term "posh" is actually an acronym based on the scientific term for a horsey-faced git: proboscis oris similaris horsis



OK, I made this one up too....
(tree hugger putting the "semen" in "basement"..., Tue 20 Sep 2005, 12:09, Reply)

Posh bird
I used to see a girl that was really posh, spoke as though she had my plums in her mouth.
Oh wait........nope thats right she was as common sounding as muck, until she had my plums in her mouth!

But seriously I ask you............what price comedy?
(Dodgyb, Tue 20 Sep 2005, 11:56, Reply)

Why
does no one have a fucking clue what Posh is? Seriously, touching something owned by Keanu Reeves or having had sex on a cushion doesnt make you posh. Shut the fuck up.
( I have run out of coke is a little sweaty, Tue 20 Sep 2005, 11:56, Reply)

How the Ruling Class Live...
Being the son of a City auditor and a chartered accountant, you'd expect my bloodline to be at least a little posh, but my family history is decidedly less interesting than most on here - no knighthoods, castles or wasted fortunes, my grandfather on my mother's side worked as a railwayman for decades while my father's family lived in squats and temporary housing on the now-disused Hornchurch Aerodrome.

My mother, however, hates this and really does aspire to be posh; until she went out and got herself some 'traditionally Essex' friends last year, she spoke with a cut-glass plummy accent that she couldn't possibly have picked up from anyone in her family (being, as they were, cockneys) and being extremely annoyed at my usual choice of women - oh how her face fell when she saw the inside of the grotty fourth-floor flat my first girlfriend and her mother lived in - she was quite happy with my last ex, though, who lives in a very posh area of Essex, is invited out boating a lot by her very rich neighbours and had as her ex the son of a Lord.

Oh well, I'm still too scared to tell my mother my current squeeze is the daughter of a piss-poor Scouse lorry driver, and I really don't think the fact that her father knows Steven Gerrard's brother is really going to be much of a factor to my football-hating mother.

Oh, and my abandoning my quest to become a doctor to pursue something I actually wanted to do did not go down at all well with her, either.

I love being a disappointment. It tastes lovely.
( Shegetz Chris Kamara's comedy moustache, Tue 20 Sep 2005, 11:54, Reply)

pish sorry posh
im so posh i'm having my butler's maid dictate this to her gardner.
(montyzuma, Tue 20 Sep 2005, 11:40, Reply)

Joanna Lumley
Posh?! you've got to be joking. She's had more cocks than a second-hand air rifle...! Maybe thats why she's got a stupid whispery voice.
(AveUseenIT, Tue 20 Sep 2005, 11:31, Reply)

Eton
We had a friend who got a job as a teacher at Eton.
He used to be a nice bloke but over the years becamse more and more of a cunt.

Eton did it to him.

He's a fully confirmed cunt now, and we fell out with him and his missus.

Cunts.
(beebolbod for those that are hard of hearing - LISTEN, Tue 20 Sep 2005, 11:24, Reply)

We marry into posh pt2.
Considering my humble background my wife and her family are posh by comparrison.

Her Dad inherited some big(ish) business and his family were pretty loaded and rather posh.

Her mum however comes form similar backround to me and has developed into somewhat of a Hyacinth Bucket.

She's full of silly comments which make her look stupid.
The other day she was heard to say to my father in law, as he was sweeping something up using the dustpan..
"oh John, i dont like to see you doing that, you're a managing director".

Jesus Christ. What a cunty thing to say. She's nice though. Just misguided.

Years ago when i was rather in awe of them and their posh ways (eating at a table, talking to each other etc) i was heavily into my now wife (still am actually).

We used to sneak about as all young couples do and fuck each other alot.

Her room was at the top of the house and above her mum and dads bedroom so shagging had to be quiet.

this took the form of standing up in the bathroom, or putting a sort of long cushion thing on the floor.

One day, after a fuck, there was a rather large, fresh cum stain on said cushion.

Her mum came up the stairs and asked my missus if she could have the cushion (a friend was staying over).
She spotted the fresh mess and asked "what's that?"
"No idea" came the reply, so what did she do?

Took a great big lungful of it to try and identify it.
She looked horrified and retreated down the stairs sharpish (fair play though, she took the cusion).

I like to think that my mother in law has smelled my manfat. It's a good feeeling.
(beebolbod for those that are hard of hearing - LISTEN, Tue 20 Sep 2005, 11:22, Reply)

Posh
I wouldn't say I am posh, but i am having my butler type this reply.*





*May not be true**







**In fact, it isn't - i just have nothing else to add to this question as i am common as horse shit......
(Aleister Crowleys Badger Nothing to see here, Tue 20 Sep 2005, 11:09, Reply)

We marry into posh
My Dad recently married a lady who's father is a royal knight of the realm.

There are only about 8 or so of these old geezers (i think) and they are often to be found in the same circles as the queen.

They live in Windsor Castle (in the grounds) and they sorted it so that my Dad could marry their daughter in the church in Windsor (by asking the queen. haha. the fucking queen!).

We stayed in the same place as Anne boleyn when she was getting nobbed by Henry VIII. She scrawled her initials on the window.

I had to do a reading in this special church and to be honest, i was shitting myself.

They were married by the dean, who is apparently one below the fucking archbishop.

The public were most put out by the event as they'd paid to get in but many areas were closed. hahah. I felt special that day.

Now i'm back to the oik of old.
(beebolbod for those that are hard of hearing - LISTEN, Tue 20 Sep 2005, 11:09, Reply)

POSH
Does she really take it up the arse? That Ginger one must have done. Scary didn't. Sporty, er well what was his real name anyway...
(AveUseenIT, Tue 20 Sep 2005, 11:07, Reply)

He went to other place...
I had a drink the other night with a guy who went to Eton. He called me "old boy". Seriously.
(weirzbowski, Tue 20 Sep 2005, 10:55, Reply)

Posh
Posh Fact - Posh people DONT drink UM Bongo. I rang the Embassy of Democratic Republic of Congo - 020 7278 9825 and I was informed of this fact. Also, they refused tell me the exact whereabouts of the factory. "Way-down-deep in the middle of the Congo" is no help to anyone!
(AveUseenIT, Tue 20 Sep 2005, 10:31, Reply)

Posh, me? nahh!
I live in a town called Harrogate (aparently one of the top 5 places to live in the country), and if you tell that to anyone outside of the town, they always say "oooh aint you posh"

Does that count?

Just a pity i live in the part with the highest crime rate.
(Fishbone-didi, Tue 20 Sep 2005, 9:11, Reply)

tea
according to my grandparents one must not drink one's tea with a spoon in one's cup. it must be placed upon the saucer in a neat and tidy fashion whilst sipping carefully and pointing precariously towards the ceiling with one's little finger...

...i'm not allowed to burp, fart or strut around in my underwear whilst visiting either... the cunts....
(kalimah, Tue 20 Sep 2005, 7:17, Reply)

I'm so posh...
that last year I was on a croquet team consisting of:

Freddy
Johnny
Rupert
Sebby(me)

and one of my relatives was Australian Lawn Croquet Champion (or something like that)and my Mum's maiden name is Sloane (although she's from Manchester.)
( WormuIus, Tue 20 Sep 2005, 6:35, Reply)

.
My grandpa is the son of Robert Falcon Scott, aka Scott of the Antarctic. My grandma had an affair with him during the war which might explain why I have inherited a pathological hatred of the cold. Then again, it might not.

If that doesn't make you click 'I Like This' then get this: I know the guy who stole Keanu Reeves' dressing gown off the set of The Matrix 2 when they were filming in some Sydney silos. I have actually touched said dressing gown and have a vial of Keanu's disgusting PVC sweat available to the highest bidder. If you drink it you will live forever. And it cures cancer.
(Brundy, Tue 20 Sep 2005, 4:34, Reply)

The most posh I ever thought I got

was when I toured with Yehudi Menuhin in Bavaria (five stars hotels, no less) until I found out that he was Jewish and they were all Nazis. Kind of like Willy Wonka meets the Zombies.

Beer was gut, though.
(roysin, Tue 20 Sep 2005, 2:16, Reply)

I'm in burke's peerage

Something to do with my Great grandfather who was an explorer and had a few mountain ranges and rivers named after him in Canada. Was given somesort of royal dookicky when he got back and it still holds to this day, I haven't inherited the title or anything I'm typing this within the glorious inercity scum of Bristol's whore and crack central, but in a King Ralf kind of way I'm in line to the throne.

But to get there i'd have to kill off the royal family, a fuck load of toffs and a couple of uncles and cousins I'm quite fond of.
(sittingduck Attention seeking, bullshitting fuck-knuckle, Tue 20 Sep 2005, 1:00, Reply)

Dancing bears...
I have four dancing bears and a couple of peregrine falcons that I use to catch tresspassers on my allotment.... And yet I live in Britain's poorest community and therefore everyone that I meet is posher than me.
So I'm not posh but I once saw lots of posh people through the railings.
(Shrewd Ape, Tue 20 Sep 2005, 0:49, Reply)

Brian Sewell
Now he makes the queen sound common!
( Captn Hood-Butter is not dead yet., Mon 19 Sep 2005, 23:26, Reply)

My Great nan was supposed to go first class on the Titanic
then she didn't cos she didn't feel like it or something.
(P-nut Obsessive Compulsive Green Day Disorder..., Mon 19 Sep 2005, 23:06, Reply)

I am posh.
I used to be in the Spice Girls and then married David Beckham.
(Lambkin, Mon 19 Sep 2005, 22:21, Reply)

Use ta be posh
Ancestor of mine was from a posh family. In the late 18th and early 19th century, they had a town house in a nice part of London, plus a country estate in Feltham, when it was country. Great.....great whatever father John Morris was chairman of the Parish Council, one of hs sons - Joseph Morris - was the local vicar. Another of his sons got their spanish maid up the duff - and married her, and then got caught nicking a shitload of grog.

Family paid the authorities off, sent black sheep and spanish harlot to the colonies - New South Wales - and kept sending money and letters saying "Don't come back." He did nick his mother's two hundred year old family bible on the way - my uncle still has it.

You can stick yer poshness up where the sun don't shine, mate.
(Maclir, Mon 19 Sep 2005, 21:26, Reply)

im so posh
i get out the bath to shit...


is that taking it too far? im common and dont know.


im scared of my girlfriends family, i dont think theyre that posh, just very nice. and that gives me shivers being the closest thing a nasty bastard without being one.
(the ben, Mon 19 Sep 2005, 20:57, Reply)

How about this one?
Personally Owns Stately Homes

Heck, it even rhymes!
(tree hugger putting the "semen" in "basement"..., Mon 19 Sep 2005, 19:47, Reply)