Santa Bollocks
For Christmas I would like some new swearwords as I've worn all my old ones out; 'Wank' is now limp, 'Shit' smells funny, and 'Cunt' has a hole in it.

Apologies for Oxford comma.

Fuck.
In other news, I've been a member here for 3 years now. Time flies.
(Lythium deals in lead, my friend., Tue 1 Dec 2009, 14:52, 19 replies)

Beligium
Worst of them all.
(Kliper Filllets Getting noticed by twats on the internet since, Tue 1 Dec 2009, 15:05, closed)

I thought it was........
BELGIUM
(nonstopdancer, Tue 1 Dec 2009, 19:09, closed)

Twatend.
Happy Christmas.
( Moey, Tue 1 Dec 2009, 15:08, closed)

I do like twatend
Unless you were just calling me one, then I don't like it.

I do find portmanteau swearing enjoyable, as 'fuckspanner' and 'cuntsock' have proven to me. Long gone are the days of calling someone a 'twunt', however.

I shall assemble a team of lunatics to compose some suitably contemptuous phrases. Let us tear down these prison walls and build society anew where no man shall be without a phrase to describe that which mentally chafes to cause utmost umbrage!

Revolution!
(Lythium deals in lead, my friend., Tue 1 Dec 2009, 15:18, closed)

fuckpig
Was always one of my favourites. It's been years since I used it. Suspect that it will see much use on this evening's drive home now.
(lardyboy Next stop, Fissplap Central, Tue 1 Dec 2009, 16:22, closed)

Twatend
Sounds like a really piss-poor seaside resort.
( sandettie light vessel automatic New Twitter - @bollocksreally, Tue 1 Dec 2009, 15:38, closed)

Welcome to
Twatend-on-Sea.

Home of the fish supper.
( Moey, Tue 1 Dec 2009, 20:30, closed)

Bon Jovi
If The Detectives are to be believed.
( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Tue 1 Dec 2009, 15:58, closed)

in Dublin
we say 'gash' and 'pony' a lot and me Ma says, "fuck-a-duck" and "s-h-1-t" to convince herself she's not really swearing.

rafter
baz
(bazmorningstar efil4nat3b, Tue 1 Dec 2009, 16:02, closed)

I have a few favourites:
Cuntbollock
Mingewank
Jamfisterer
Spangtwat
Shitbishop

Feel free to use them as you will, I have plenty more.
(DarkLite swallowed my entire undercarriage, Tue 1 Dec 2009, 16:55, closed)

I already use cuntbollock..
Shitbishop will be of great use to me from now on.

Many thanks comrade!
(Lythium deals in lead, my friend., Tue 1 Dec 2009, 21:38, closed)

Jizzmop
or for a truly spectacular expression of amazement "jesustittyfuckingchrist" as seen on facebook yesterday - made me smile anyway!
(nonstopdancer, Tue 1 Dec 2009, 19:13, closed)

ring sausage
wank biscuit
fuckmeat
( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Tue 1 Dec 2009, 19:54, closed)

Scruttock
always made me giggle like a loon!
( loonybean giving as good as he gets since, Wed 2 Dec 2009, 0:51, closed)

"Bugger"
never fails to hit the right spot.

And I'm quite fond of "minge" (giggle)
(greatoldone Ph'nglui mglw'nafh Cthulhu R'lyeh wgah'nagl f'tagn, Wed 2 Dec 2009, 8:54, closed)

Fish Mitten
I saw this on QOTW or off topic recently and it is now officially my favourite expression. I am also partial to saying pissflaps when something goes wrong - not sure the 20 year old America intern in my office is particularly impressed with that though.
(lkjshaglkasjdhglkhjz lkcvl; g;aodh;owih, Wed 2 Dec 2009, 10:27, closed)

I've always used
Arsebiscuits
Mingebicuits
twatknackers
and
cuntyfuckeration
(magic the cat will someone please think of the kittens, Wed 2 Dec 2009, 11:13, closed)

Cuntitudious Fucktard
has become a recent favourite of mine.
Also Gale-force nine bell-end.
(fibonacci_cunt cunt, cunt, cuntcunt, cuntcuntcunt,..., Wed 2 Dec 2009, 15:30, closed)

Gale-force nine bell-end is awesome..
I think I shall put it in the same category as 'Weapons-Grade Cunt'.
(Lythium deals in lead, my friend., Wed 2 Dec 2009, 15:56, closed)