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This is a question Presents

What are you buying your loved ones this Christmas? We're looking for inspiration and reckon a big share-a-thon of ideas will help everyone buy better gifts this year.

BTW: If your family reads B3ta and you're worried about giving the game away then tell us what you bought last Christmas.

(, Thu 26 Nov 2009, 12:34)
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Santa Bollocks
For Christmas I would like some new swearwords as I've worn all my old ones out; 'Wank' is now limp, 'Shit' smells funny, and 'Cunt' has a hole in it.

Apologies for Oxford comma.

In other news, I've been a member here for 3 years now. Time flies.
(, Tue 1 Dec 2009, 14:52, 19 replies)
Worst of them all.
(, Tue 1 Dec 2009, 15:05, closed)
I thought it was........
(, Tue 1 Dec 2009, 19:09, closed)
Happy Christmas.
(, Tue 1 Dec 2009, 15:08, closed)
I do like twatend
Unless you were just calling me one, then I don't like it.

I do find portmanteau swearing enjoyable, as 'fuckspanner' and 'cuntsock' have proven to me. Long gone are the days of calling someone a 'twunt', however.

I shall assemble a team of lunatics to compose some suitably contemptuous phrases. Let us tear down these prison walls and build society anew where no man shall be without a phrase to describe that which mentally chafes to cause utmost umbrage!

(, Tue 1 Dec 2009, 15:18, closed)
Was always one of my favourites. It's been years since I used it. Suspect that it will see much use on this evening's drive home now.
(, Tue 1 Dec 2009, 16:22, closed)
Sounds like a really piss-poor seaside resort.
(, Tue 1 Dec 2009, 15:38, closed)
Welcome to

Home of the fish supper.
(, Tue 1 Dec 2009, 20:30, closed)
Bon Jovi
If The Detectives are to be believed.
(, Tue 1 Dec 2009, 15:58, closed)
in Dublin
we say 'gash' and 'pony' a lot and me Ma says, "fuck-a-duck" and "s-h-1-t" to convince herself she's not really swearing.

(, Tue 1 Dec 2009, 16:02, closed)
I have a few favourites:

Feel free to use them as you will, I have plenty more.
(, Tue 1 Dec 2009, 16:55, closed)
I already use cuntbollock..
Shitbishop will be of great use to me from now on.

Many thanks comrade!
(, Tue 1 Dec 2009, 21:38, closed)
or for a truly spectacular expression of amazement "jesustittyfuckingchrist" as seen on facebook yesterday - made me smile anyway!
(, Tue 1 Dec 2009, 19:13, closed)
ring sausage
wank biscuit
(, Tue 1 Dec 2009, 19:54, closed)
always made me giggle like a loon!
(, Wed 2 Dec 2009, 0:51, closed)
never fails to hit the right spot.

And I'm quite fond of "minge" (giggle)
(, Wed 2 Dec 2009, 8:54, closed)
Fish Mitten
I saw this on QOTW or off topic recently and it is now officially my favourite expression. I am also partial to saying pissflaps when something goes wrong - not sure the 20 year old America intern in my office is particularly impressed with that though.
(, Wed 2 Dec 2009, 10:27, closed)
I've always used
(, Wed 2 Dec 2009, 11:13, closed)
Cuntitudious Fucktard
has become a recent favourite of mine.
Also Gale-force nine bell-end.
(, Wed 2 Dec 2009, 15:30, closed)
Gale-force nine bell-end is awesome..
I think I shall put it in the same category as 'Weapons-Grade Cunt'.
(, Wed 2 Dec 2009, 15:56, closed)

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