It all started with pints of Leffe (pea)
So there we were in leafy Greenwich, my girlfriend meeting my friend's soon-to-be wife for the first time. They had recently bought a very small one bed house and made some minor re-jigging by moving the downstairs bathroom into an en-suite in their modestly sized bedroom.

The rationale for the re-jigging had been that they would have a little bit more storage space and that the downstairs bathroom was impractical
as my friend's ample 6ft 4 frame meant that he couldn't actually shut the door while sat on the loo... a little embarrassing if they had guests.

Wine in hand the girls got chatting about shopping and while Ben and I talked rugby (he's not really a football fan) and drank beer, or something like that. Ben then mentioned that he had a load of Leffe, but decreed that we couldn't be girly and drink small glasses of the stuff, no we had to have pints of the stuff.

After a couple of pints we decide that we'd go to the local pub. They served Leffe there too (yay!), so we continued to pour the bottles into pint glasses and drink in a manly fashion.

At closing time we slightly wobbled back to their bijou abode. Time for one last pint of Leffe before bed? Oh yes.

That made it about 8-9 pints of Leffe.

After Ben and Emily went up to their bed, I impressed my girlfriend with a full on naked Five Star Frog Splash onto the sofa bed. Miraculously I didn't injure myself, girlfriend or bed. No, it was later that evening that my public performance happened.

At about 3am I woke up, full on room spinning and I was resigned to the inevitable run for the loo. But wait... I cant streak through my hosts' bedroom and wake them up with the sound of me redecorating the en suite. No, the shortest route was to the door. And there I was Yahtzeeing my guts up into the gutter.

I returned to bed to the sound of an unsympathetic tut, but this shuttle sick run routine continued until it was daylight.

All I can do is apologize to the poor people churchgoers that had to witness me nude dry heaving in the street. Still, at least I remembered to give them a wave.
( @><|= w0nu!) or cunt to my friends, Wed 23 Jul 2014, 11:59, 24 replies)

You're right,
Leffe is something like beer.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Wed 23 Jul 2014, 13:52, closed)

Is this like
Stella for posh people.

I've got to try it. But not 8-9 pints. I'm 5'6" on a good day. I would be in a coma after that much?
(Pill Popper Thank you Sasha Shulgin, Wed 23 Jul 2014, 14:06, closed)

why is that a question? you nancy short arse half drinker.

( d.r._and_quinch when will you be famous?, Wed 23 Jul 2014, 18:03, closed)

I m already drunk
At least I drink pints of lager. Not glasses of wine pretending to be a mincer
(Pill Popper Thank you Sasha Shulgin, Wed 23 Jul 2014, 20:48, closed)

The whole point of Leffe is to be poncy.
If you don't drink it in the designated poncy glass, you're doing it wrong.
(eViLegion Chief Commissioner of the Scottish Lunacy Board, Wed 23 Jul 2014, 14:11, closed)

Leffe? s'okay
give me a real ale or a cider anyday
(sittingduck Attention seeking, bullshitting fuck-knuckle, Wed 23 Jul 2014, 14:16, closed)

Like Leffe is not a real ale. It ticks all the CAMRA boxes for being classified as such.

( d.r._and_quinch when will you be famous?, Wed 23 Jul 2014, 18:03, closed)

it's a carbonated keg beer sold by an industrial brewing giant
exactly which camra boxes do you imagine it ticks?
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Wed 23 Jul 2014, 18:12, closed)

^^what thunderflaps said^^
it's a little bit aley I'll give you that, but if you tried giving it to a CAMRA guy as an ale he'd suffocate you with his pac-a-mac without pausing to wipe the foam from a pint of Winstons Old Scrotum from his beard**



** may contain out of date stereotypes
(sittingduck Attention seeking, bullshitting fuck-knuckle, Thu 24 Jul 2014, 9:09, closed)

the beard and beer belly lot are a dying breed
Literally dying. The fat alkie pickled egg cunts rarely make it to sixty.

There must be a mountain of discarded pewter tankards and stretched 1987 Cambridge Folk Festival t-shirts somewhere.
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Thu 24 Jul 2014, 9:26, closed)

I met a CAMRA secretary
Checking out the local to my work that sells actual beer for a potential place for a group meeting

she was in her 20's and very pretty, not even a hint of a beard. But boy did she know her hops
(sittingduck Attention seeking, bullshitting fuck-knuckle, Thu 24 Jul 2014, 9:38, closed)

fucking hipster yoof coming over here and being more attractive than the grotty-bearded camra greaseballs

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Thu 24 Jul 2014, 11:35, closed)

I personally support the campaign for real ale produced by qualified industrial chemists therefore
guaranteeing the quality of the product. Instead of the microbreweries who churn out questionable shit after attending a 3 month course in brewing at Sunderland polytunnels.
( d.r._and_quinch when will you be famous?, Thu 24 Jul 2014, 9:40, closed)

you're making him cry :'(


(sittingduck Attention seeking, bullshitting fuck-knuckle, Thu 24 Jul 2014, 9:44, closed)

try readng the original CAMRA manifesto you ignorant knee kerk reactionary and discover the
classification of live yeast parts per million.
( d.r._and_quinch when will you be famous?, Thu 24 Jul 2014, 9:38, closed)

errrm Mr Pot meet Mr Kettle
But enthusiasts of traditional, English beer said Tesco should be doing more to support home-grown and local ales rather than foreign imports. Iain Loe, research and campaigns manager at the Campaign for Real Ale (Camra) said: "Leffe may have a picture of an abbey on the label and people think Hoegaarden is made in a little monastery brewery, but they are both owned by InBev, the world's biggest brewing company. Since it was taken over by InBev, I don't think Hoegaarden is as tasty as it once was. If people really want to taste good Belgian beer, they should try something like Orval or Rochefort, which are brewed at Trappist monasteries by monks." Mr Loe added: "Real ales in Britain are hugely popular. One of the problems is that the big supermarkets don't stock all the different ales. It's fine to stock Belgian wheat beers, but places such as Tesco should also source their beer locally, so stores in Kent sell Kentish beers and stores in the North buy from the Yorkshire breweries. After all, beer is largely water, and it's being shipped all over Europe when it could be sourced locally."
(sittingduck Attention seeking, bullshitting fuck-knuckle, Thu 24 Jul 2014, 9:41, closed)

Yeah and CAMRa don't approve of craft keg which is just plain fucking stupid.

( d.r._and_quinch when will you be famous?, Thu 24 Jul 2014, 9:58, closed)

that's like saying you can't show a bulldog in the toy dogs category at krufts
Real ale is a cask ale by definition.

CAMRA isn’t about campaigning against keg beers rather ensuring real ale is available. They set up in the 70's when orrid keg beers (Watneys Red Barrel)threatened the survival of real beer.

I have had some delicious keg beers (some belters from the USA)
(sittingduck Attention seeking, bullshitting fuck-knuckle, Thu 24 Jul 2014, 11:02, closed)

"So – if these craft kegs are good, why doesn’t CAMRA move with the times and campaign for good ale rather than real ale?

Well, there is a problem of course. If you are campaigning for something you have to be able to define what you are campaigning for. We’ve defined real ale. Good is a bit more subjective…… There is also a danger of course that if everyone goes down the keg route in future we will lose the tradition of natural, cask conditioned beer.

So the CAMRA angle is simple – we campaign for real ale. We acknowledge craft keg is out there and adding some interest to the pub scene and we don’t campaign against it, we simply consider it outside the parameters of what we do."
(sittingduck Attention seeking, bullshitting fuck-knuckle, Thu 24 Jul 2014, 11:05, closed)

*stows pac-a-mac in knapsack*
*dusts off Galsto '90 T shirt*

*brushes cheese & onion crisps from chin strap*

*strides off muttering about smoothflow*
(sittingduck Attention seeking, bullshitting fuck-knuckle, Thu 24 Jul 2014, 11:08, closed)

Yeah, but now CAMRA are being jolly nice about shit secondary fermentation ales produced by fuckwits.
Which as I suspect is to pander to the scoopers and not to people wanting quality. Like the LocALE project, regardless of the fact that a brewery produces bilge a landlord to keep the good graces of CAMRA would feel pressure to stock it.
Talk about watney's Red all you want - CAMRA succeeded in it's aim. Time for them to revisit the aims.
( d.r._and_quinch when will you be famous?, Thu 24 Jul 2014, 11:34, closed)

you had a brief window there for a dignified exit
But no ... you'd rather scrabble around Google desperately trying to justify your initial mistake. Classic internet retard.
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Thu 24 Jul 2014, 10:02, closed)

Why don't you google the point. Secondary fermentation as a requiite for real ale was not in the original manifest of CAMRA.
It was yeast parts per million, that is why real ale can be bottle fermented (live brewing yeast) and not just cask as sittingduck seems to believe.
( d.r._and_quinch when will you be famous?, Thu 24 Jul 2014, 11:39, closed)

do shut up

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Thu 24 Jul 2014, 12:57, closed)