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This is a question Pubs

Jeccy writes, "I've seen people having four-somes, fights involving spastics and genuine retarded people doing karaoke, all thanks to the invention of the common pub."

What's happened in your local then?

(, Thu 5 Feb 2009, 20:55)
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is one of my brother's friends who fancies himself as a bit of a toff. for example, on being told that one of my friend's boyfriends had beaten her with a belt, he lifted an eyebrow and drawled: "i say. for pleasure? or for discipline?"

another example was when he complimented a friend's german boyfriend on his excellent english, saying that the english are very lazy at learning foreign languages. the german agreed and said jokingly, "zat is because of your damned imperialism."

at which rupert puffed on his cigar and said slowly, "steady on old chap, you've had a couple of cracks at that yourself."

so the other night we were all in the pub and rupert, who is a raving alcoholic (his round is 2 double vodkas and 1 can of redbull), was utterly leathered. we saw him at the bar, gesticulating at the barman, and the next minute he was being frogmarched out of the pub, feet literally off the ground, and thrown into the street.

we ran outside, to find him groaning in the gutter.

"what did you say to them?" we asked. rupert splattered to his feet, hair everywhere, and blinked at us.

"i told them," he said, staggering. "i told them... i told them... get your fucking dirty hands off my fucking blazer. i'm not going anywhere til you roll out the fucking red carpet."

and he collapsed back onto the street again.

the man is a legend!
(, Wed 11 Feb 2009, 12:02, 7 replies)
he sounds a bit like the posh rapist guy in 'Naked'
(, Wed 11 Feb 2009, 12:16, closed)
"Steady on old chap"
is a phrase that's used far too infrequently.

And the last time I heard it used it was by a drunk glaswegian before he passed out.
(, Wed 11 Feb 2009, 12:16, closed)
....it should be forced upon the young'uns in schools. Just "chap" in general actually.

Anyway, have a click for making me chuckle.
(, Wed 11 Feb 2009, 12:31, closed)
So true
I try to fit at least one 'old boy' or 'my dear fellow' into my vocabulary each day.

Chin chin!
(, Wed 11 Feb 2009, 14:08, closed)
There's not enough comedy toffs around these days
My aunt used to have a lodger who was a retired brigadier. Mustached, eccentric and frequently drunk, the man was a walking sterotype, with the voice that trailed off mid sentence.

His catchphrase was a loud cry of "Well bugger me!" and his most frequent habit was falling asleep, face down in his soup, at the dinner table.
(, Wed 11 Feb 2009, 16:28, closed)
Cickety click

I have lurked here for a long time, and your name is so often at the bottom when I have laughed.

"for pleasure? or for discipline?"

(, Wed 11 Feb 2009, 12:29, closed)
how I've missed you.
Hows it going?
And where the hell do you MEET these people!?
(, Wed 11 Feb 2009, 12:30, closed)

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