Tommy Cooper
My favourite Tommy Cooper gag was a bit visual, but...

Tommy's standing on the stage and says, "I shall now turn this stick of rock into some furniture". And he snaps it, twice.

"There you go", says Tommy, "Three piece suite".

Kills me every time that one.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Fri 6 Mar 2009, 19:05, 2 replies)

bloke goes to the doctor
'i keep thinking i'm tom jones. is it common?'

'it's not unusual'.



not really a pun, but i couldn't resist =)
(TheManWithThePlan cussed your mum on, Fri 6 Mar 2009, 19:41, closed)

Mine is the one where he comes on stage holding a violin
and a painting.

"I was cleaning out my attic, when I found a Stradivarius and a Rembrandt!"

"Unfortunately, Stradivarius couldn't paint and Rembrandt made crap violins!"

(he smashes the violin through the painting, then stamps on both of them)
( chart cat has an itch, Mon 9 Mar 2009, 5:39, closed)