Raise your glasses!
I think I'm possibly ashamed of liberally applying my bollock batter to a friend's face to assist her with content for her hugely successful Bukkake web-site.

Many happy evenings spent (so to speak) assisting her hubby degrade the poor girl. (All except she wasn't degraded by it, she fucking loved it, and she became far from poor thanks to the membership fees). One of the memorable ones was when her mouth was kept open with a Jennings dental gag, and she wore one of those plastic collars you put on dogs to stop them licking/biting themselves. Add several blokes, some fluffers to help get the froth flowing and you end up with some truly, erm, "niche" material.

Another time she scraped it off with a spoon and fed it to the other young lady who was also wallowing in it. It was like an explosion at the Solvite factory.

Oh, and the time they discovered a new word........Gokkun.
All I could think of was the joke with the punchline "I tried to stop but I couldn't bite it off".

It turned my stomach, really. Once I've delivered the goods, my interest in it is completely gone. Dear God, watching women playing about with it......noooooo thank you.

It didn't stop me going round every week and getting blowjobs and some truly magnificent handjobs from from her glamorous assistants though.

But I am ashamed of it. Honest.
(Rsoles, Wed 18 Mar 2009, 20:27, 19 replies)

I bet you even believe that really happened.
Sad.
( Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Wed 18 Mar 2009, 22:37, closed)

I call bullshit

( Derpasaurus DOG FARTS, Wed 18 Mar 2009, 22:38, closed)

Yes dear
Of course you did
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Wed 18 Mar 2009, 22:39, closed)

Woodside is a 12 year old virgin with girl arms
And I should know.
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Wed 18 Mar 2009, 22:46, closed)

I BET YOU'RE ON THE DOLE.

( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Wed 18 Mar 2009, 22:42, closed)

Haha, yeah, with girls and everything.
That's amazing. It's almost good to be true. I wish I was you.
( Bats, Wed 18 Mar 2009, 22:43, closed)

Statistically, far more men have to have done this than women, so it's not too far fetched that out of 60,000-odd users, at least one of them has been involved in some way.

Just because you don't indulge in disgusting, dirty, abusive semi-prostitution, doesn't mean others haven't.
( 0800221155 Coldseal windows, Wed 18 Mar 2009, 22:45, closed)

[CITATION NEEDED]

( mns 2️⃣2️⃣9️⃣0️⃣7️⃣, Wed 18 Mar 2009, 22:51, closed)

ʇunɔ 1ɐʇuǝɯ noʎ ɟɟo ʞɔnɟ
( Zuowan, Wed 18 Mar 2009, 22:55, closed)

Chinny reckon

(powervator and NONE SHALL PASS, Wed 18 Mar 2009, 23:00, closed)

Err.......
Thankyou for sharing? How did this get so many replies anyway?
(Fredz A graveyard of hopes, a dump of ambition, Wed 18 Mar 2009, 23:05, closed)

Yeah, and I'm Queen Victoria.

( idonthaveafunnynickname Drink-Aware? Sure. I'm aware I want another drink., Wed 18 Mar 2009, 23:21, closed)

Well
that's the best thing about it all. I met the woman in question when she advertised for guys to cum on her face. No tricks, no cash, just go round, get a BJ, then pop on her face, simple. Twenty odd blokes replied, said they would DEFINITELY be there, in the end just 2 of us turned up.

Surprisingly enough, getting blokes who actually want a no-strings blowie (apart from the strings of goo, obviously), is quite a task. Loads will volunteer, then realise their wife won't let them out, or they simply don't have the balls, 2 out of 20 is pretty much a normal turnout.

All of which is pretty good news for a sad bastard like me, because I WILL turn up, enjoy myself thoroughly, and get an invite for next time.

For the record, the site was AmateurFacialsUK, and the gal in question, Dee, became a bit of a starlet, with quite a following. I'm sure you can Google up the details. Anyway, she sold it three or four years ago after a spot of legal bother where it was decided having her gooey face all over the web wasn't such a good move family-wise. Still, it was fun while it lasted.

For those interested, Jade, the lass who took over the site has parties every week, so don't be shy, go and be good jizz donors. You don't need a dong like a horse, no-one is interested in your beer gut, they even kindly 'shop your tattoos out of the results so you won't get recognised. (I believe there is a small financial contribution "for the room" to be made, the reason I don't attend. I like to be a perve for free, it's far more enjoyable.)

Or, of course, you could simply sit behind your keyboard and deny it could possibly have happened. Obviously, these types of sites are made in far-off foreign lands, not sunny Coventry. No, that would be simply too difficult to set up, wouldn't it?
(Rsoles, Thu 19 Mar 2009, 2:04, closed)

"Jade, the lass who took over the site has parties every week..."
That's one way to pay for her Cancer treatments I suppose, and there's no danger of any getting in her hair...

*rather obvious Jade joke, wasn't it??
(RVD420 has his world coming down on, Thu 19 Mar 2009, 9:32, closed)

Pictures,
or it didn't happen.
( Batshitmentalist is sane for once, Thu 19 Mar 2009, 5:24, closed)

Erm,
there's plenty of pictures about, I've given you the info you need to find them above.

It's funny that whilst I'm pleased that all distinguishing features were obscured in the photos that were posted online, I still find myself proudly showing my friends the erm "shoots" and wishing there was something on there to identify me. (Sorry Prof KM, I know you are still haunted by me showing you those pictures)
I can still identify my old chap in a "bell-end halo" photograph though.
(Rsoles, Thu 19 Mar 2009, 10:25, closed)

Fair play to you mate. I'd believe this over a fair amount of the other content that gets posted.
( enoughblueskyforsailorstrousers, Thu 19 Mar 2009, 9:03, closed)

Funny how /talk think qotw is a pile of shit and yet they still come over to read it.
.
( girlinthehole, Thu 19 Mar 2009, 9:30, closed)

I BELIEVE YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

( whenanimalsattackhumans clad in global hypercolour, Thu 19 Mar 2009, 14:56, closed)