Best detention stories
There must be loads out there....
(a5972s, Thu 10 Jun 2004, 12:51, Reply)

People You've Killed
c'mon, get it off your chest. . .
(le renard, Thu 10 Jun 2004, 12:26, Reply)

Stupid Limb breakage!!!
How have you broken a limb in a stupid way?

You hear many tales of people falling over stuff at home and breaking limbs, come along and share your pain.........

I fell over my Laundry Basket when twated and broke my wrist. The reason for being there when drunk was that I needed an oily and needed it now, but I didn't have any. So off I trot to the Local (1 mile away) 24 Hr garage with a broken wrist.

Get there and the bloody place is closed. Cunts. broke my wrist for nuffink......
(a monkey's not just for christmas, Wed 9 Jun 2004, 15:58, Reply)

Scariest person you've ever met?
We've all met someone who freaks us and the rest of humanity out.

For instance:

The big brother of a good mate of mine used to try to shoot him with nails fired from an air pistol (he tied feathers to them). He also used to oil the doors in their house so "the wee man can't hear me coming to get him".

Apologies for not apologising about length.
( calgacus Non sum qualis eram bonae sub regno Cynarae, Wed 9 Jun 2004, 13:20, Reply)

Brown Wings seconded
Yeah, it's gotta be tales of the dirtbox.
(Fonkadelix is fucking bored, pass the crack pipe Mavis., Wed 9 Jun 2004, 10:26, Reply)

What's the stupidist thing you've ever come home with after a night out?
I used to work in a bar which was part of a large chain. When the staff went on group outings, there would nearly always be a drunken 'who can steal the most from where we're going' challenge. After one Christmas bash, for the whole chain, in Northhampton, I managed to leave the Moathouse Hotel with:

1) The thrid floor lift sign.
2) A fairly large picture from the bar.
3) The battery from the condom machine.
4) A selection of glasses and cutlery.
5) Several large bottles of 'Natural' spring water.
6) An antique stone storage jar.
7) A handmade woodon toy car.
8) A book.

The funny thing is that we even managed to get half the money back on our room due to unsatisfaction!
( The Togaboy The world will end on, Tue 8 Jun 2004, 22:01, Reply)

Is it better to have regretted something you have done or something you haven't?
.










/Orbital
( cupboardy, Tue 8 Jun 2004, 20:22, Reply)

funniest injury?
i broke a finger running down the hall like an aeroplane.
(That guy with a hat., Tue 8 Jun 2004, 15:41, Reply)

ewww
Which strange/disturbing/really unattractive famous people do you secretly fancy?
Ahh, go on, embarrass yourselves...
I also like the procrastination one. Here I am with 2 essays and a MA dissertation to write, and I'm sitting around looking at this. Argh....
(lard-tastic, Tue 8 Jun 2004, 14:28, Reply)

daddy
or chips?
(Clockwork, Tue 8 Jun 2004, 12:13, Reply)

Adding my vote to the Pet Stories suggestion
I can do the one about the boiled terrapins
(foolish_child, Tue 8 Jun 2004, 10:32, Reply)

Well I'll Be
How about, "Most staggaring coincidences?"
Or maybe, "Lies you've told the police?"
One more, "Most awkward 'coitus interruptus'?"
As if those aren't awkward enough, hey.
(kitsune, Tue 8 Jun 2004, 10:08, Reply)

Pranks?
How about "Your greatest Pranks"

They could be about practical jokes against people you know, or ones you have fallen for yourself?
( Squiggy Alloria makes theme parks., Tue 8 Jun 2004, 0:18, Reply)

Small children, the little hooligans
Any incident with young 'uns. Whether it's the wrong thing to say at the wrong time or a diaper disaster, everybody's bound to have at least one tale of when a kid under ten proved either embarassing or hilarious.
(DeadCats, Mon 7 Jun 2004, 22:28, Reply)

Most unfortunate waste incident
Cringeworthy tales involving pee and poop. Not necessairly human.
(Randall4k, Mon 7 Jun 2004, 21:32, Reply)

What really lies beneath the Darlek suits?

(not here 42, Sat 5 Jun 2004, 13:19, Reply)

medical problems you've had, thought you've had, and made others believe they had
although i'm sure in your interweb-wizardry you could cut that down to 8 words
( stevierar, Fri 4 Jun 2004, 23:57, Reply)

strangest thing you ever ate?
the stupedist (hehe) thing you ever did?

the most embarassing thing you own? (not including items used for sex or pleasure)

strangest thing done accidently causing you to lose a freind?
(That guy with a hat., Fri 4 Jun 2004, 15:22, Reply)

Blonde moments
Don't let the brunette hair fool you, inside my sister's head she is pure blonde (I hesitate to admit that I, too, have fallen prey to moments of extreme stupidity, usually very publically, too. Oh dear god the nightmare of the mini-fan...)

Tiny example... "me and X are so similar, we must have been separated at birth" yes honey, save for that little 5 year age difference there.
(Imp of destruction, Fri 4 Jun 2004, 15:04, Reply)

With the new student year coming up....
"Your halls of residence escapades" would be a nice primer to let everyone know what they're letting themselves in for....
(bblgoose, Thu 3 Jun 2004, 13:21, Reply)

First Date Fiascos
Humour and Humiliation in equal measure.
(Smell eep!, Thu 3 Jun 2004, 13:19, Reply)

Your most embarrassing moments....
lame I know... but it'll enable me to pass a whole day at work ... typing on b3ta
( Humpty Dumpty was Pushed Is unaware of having any limits., Thu 3 Jun 2004, 12:15, Reply)

Suggestions:
1. Lies Your Granddad Told You - cobblers that the old coot came up with and you believed.

2. Tales of Blob - for girls and boys to describe the worst things that have happened during Rag Week, when the NO BATHING flags fly.

3. The Alternative Dictionary - to assemble the definitive list of names or phrases for i) Penis, ii) Vagina, iii) Anus, iv) Farts v) Masturbation.

4. Uncommon Dilemmas - Suggestions for hypothetical situations where you have to give up one thing in favour of the other, eg. Tea vs Lager, Kittens vs Penguins, Wanking vs Football, Porn vs Sex... Who can come up with the most agonising pairing?

5. Brown Wings - Tales of how you first gave / got it up the wrong'un.

6. The Elderly - Tales of the old and infirm.

7. Shoplifting - Win, lose or draw?

8. Presents - We all need inspiration, but better still, lets just steal eachothers ideas. What's the best present you ever gave / received?

9. Famous People - Stories about celebs you have encountered. The more minor the celeb, the better.

10. Pub Tricks / Games - Things you can do to pass the time until you are pissed.
(Grey Triggerfish, Thu 3 Jun 2004, 12:06, Reply)

Welllllll,
"What would Brian Boitano do if he were here today?"
( madrabbi, Thu 3 Jun 2004, 9:08, Reply)

Things you've realised at an embarrassingly late age...
And how you came to realise them!
(flash, Thu 3 Jun 2004, 7:31, Reply)

Biggest spectacle you've made of yourself in public
I've got far too many stories to fit into one post.*

*Meaning I'm too embarrassed to share them.
( ArthurTheRat, Wed 2 Jun 2004, 14:54, Reply)

Most Innappropriate things to say
Turned up at my Grandmothers house, just after my Grandad karked it. Door was opened by uncle, letting me and my Dad in.

"Would you like a cup of tea?", sayth the uncle.

"Verily, I am dying for a cuppa", sayth twunt-grouch.

Thankfully, my old man laughed.
( Grouch would quite like his clients to stop being numptys, Tue 1 Jun 2004, 15:15, Reply)

Bloody Feminism
With every television advert (or commercial) being filled with femminist propeganda, and with all men being made to look stupid on TV, I was wondering what you people thought of feminism in general, and I even thought that a good future photoshop challenge would be "if the femminists took over" to show what the world would look like this way.
( Squiggy Alloria makes theme parks., Tue 1 Jun 2004, 14:29, Reply)

Tragic Pet Stories
My house-proud mother cleaned out my rabbits' hutch with Domestos, thus gassing Blackie & Whitey, sending them to a horribly premature death.
Others?
(Chillumm, Tue 1 Jun 2004, 13:19, Reply)

How about
What's the biggest road you've ever driven on? (mine is the M1)
(Sex Panther, Tue 1 Jun 2004, 11:53, Reply)