whats the most dull thing you have or haven't experienced?

(augsav forgot about B3ta, Tue 30 Nov 2010, 6:33, 5 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

fantasy dinner party
if you could invite any 5 famous people for a dinner party, who would they be?
why would you choose them?
where would it be? a cosy get-together in your own home, or a lavish affair in a world-class restaurant?
inquiring minds, like mine, wish to know. tell us!
( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Mon 29 Nov 2010, 16:40, 4 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

Snow fun
Over the weekend it obviously snowed and on the street about 30 cars all had a nice cock drawn on the windscreen, the adult in me was tut tutting but the child in me thought 'fair play why didn't I think of that?'

But there has to be better abuse of snow so let's hear the tales.
(bluehamster, Mon 29 Nov 2010, 9:06, Reply)

Overcomplicating things
My shower has thirty three different power/temp combination settings. These can all be replaced by a button for too hot and too cold.

What has been overcomplicated in your experience?
( willenium Fist bump for verification, Sun 28 Nov 2010, 11:32, 1 reply, 14 years ago)

Finding out your intellgent friends have a secret stupid gene
When my tenants moved out, they me their chickens - two sweet little hens.

My friends and their children were fascinated as the hens pottered about the garden giving me two eggs a day. What surprised me was that three different friends actually asked me how I got eggs if I didn't have a cockerel.

I had no idea that my intelligent friends (who were parents themselves) were lacking in such basic fertilisation knowledge.

Have your friends ever surprised you with their stupidity?
( camp freddy well, would you look at that!, Sat 27 Nov 2010, 13:21, Reply)

Dinner parties
Tell your dinner party tales
The 9 course 4 hour epicurean feat
Setting fire to your shirt on the candles
Binning everything and ordering a takeaway instead
Rogering the hosts wife in the kitchen
Going home and throwing up
anything dinner party related
(insomniac-surfer oh go on then, just this once, Sat 27 Nov 2010, 1:26, Reply)

Taking refuge from women
Like the bloke around the corner with four daughters and a wife who spent most of his free time gardening or producing wooden toys in his shed.
(Redemption blamed it on the Bossa Nova since, Fri 26 Nov 2010, 23:37, 1 reply, 14 years ago)

Tales of mechanical /electronic ineptitude
Like the mechanical engineer who didn't know how to put a washer in a dripping water tap.
(Redemption blamed it on the Bossa Nova since, Fri 26 Nov 2010, 23:30, Reply)

Worst Xmas or birthday present.
For about 5 years as kids, an aunt would give me and my brother a bible and a face washer for Xmas. What's the worst present you have ever had?
(boozehound is drinking your bar dry, Fri 26 Nov 2010, 22:00, Reply)

Work Avoidance
I'm on b3ta....right now...and I'm supposed to be working.

What are your best skiving stories?
(Thebigfella, Thu 25 Nov 2010, 11:21, Reply)

Broken Promises
Are you a Lib Dem minister, or a cheating husband, or maybe you just had an annoying friend you couldn't be bothered meeting up with...?

Bare your unreliable souls b3ta - What promises have you broken?
(Thebigfella, Thu 25 Nov 2010, 9:43, Reply)

The most imbecilic thing a loved one has come out with
No matter how much you love them, at some point a close relative or lover has come out with something that made you scrutinize them closely for signs of brain damage. Whether it be assertions that the national grid runs wind farm turbines to make sure we have breezes on still days or insistence that the Illuminati are in control of the BBC2 Thursday night comedy slot- what dimwitted ridiculousness have your loved ones come out with?
( Rotating Wobbly Hat That's not a banana. THIS is a banana., Thu 25 Nov 2010, 8:56, 1 reply, 14 years ago)

First Impressions
When we first moved into our flat, one of the lads next door invited us round for a drink and disappeared 5 minutes into the proceedings. About an hour later we found him fast asleep half way through taking a shit.
What's the best, or worst, first impression you have made?
(FootOfTim, Thu 25 Nov 2010, 0:42, Reply)

Weird sights
One Christmas at University I passed a couple going through a sad break-up. 'But, I love you!', he was saying plaintively as she closed the door. The sight was made more surreal by the flashing reindeer antlers he was wearing at the time.
What bizarre sights and weird experiences have you had?
( flatfrog Staring vacantly into space, Wed 24 Nov 2010, 19:32, 3 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

Daily routine
Tell us what your daily routine is.
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Wed 24 Nov 2010, 14:21, 5 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

We have done Mums recently right? arf, arf
It seems as usual we have forgotten about the stoic dad's out there...

Mum's get all the praise, I could think of at least 5 songs off the top of my head about mums and how great they are.

What song do dad's get- Papa was a rollin stone.

Lets hear it for the dads for once!!!!!
(bROKEN aRROW PUA HVI Master, Wed 24 Nov 2010, 13:54, Reply)

stereotype
I have a large shed full of powertools and little drawers full of organized screws and washers, plus a selection of half empty tins of paint, varnishes and various fluids for cars. Mrs SLVA is pretty handy with a sewing machine.

How manly/girly are you?
( sandettie light vessel automatic New Twitter - @bollocksreally, Wed 24 Nov 2010, 12:13, 2 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

20-odd years ago, when I was 7, I fell off my bike and grazed my knee.
Then, only last week, I was fined 50p for an overdue library book. I just don't understand what I've done to be cursed with such evil misfortune.
Tell us of the memories that haunt the back of your mind, of horrible injustices (and things that nearly went horribly wrong, but didn't).
In all seriousness, I've just missed out on a £70 fruit machine jackpot twice in two days 'cos I'm too tight to stump up another pound. Not happy.
(Paolo Nutini's Bikini Better than Frederick Fleet's optometrist, Tue 23 Nov 2010, 19:52, 1 reply, 14 years ago)

Lies we tell kids
From milk feeling pain to wind coming from trees's sneezing what fibs have you told kids? One kid I worked with had been convinced by a previous carer that said carer had found a baby fish and, by bringing it to the local fountain every day he had taught it to swim.

Another one was were I convinced a kid that all the ducks in a duck factory had to caught and brought to the duck factory as opposed to them being bred.
( dazbrilliantwhites has been meaning to change this..., Tue 23 Nov 2010, 19:31, Reply)

Win, win, win...
Last year I won a years supply of a certain brand of chocolate biscuit. I also won three goldfish when I was a monkee child. Do you enter competitions/lotteries? Have you won anything wonderful?
(Monkee girl not a monkee, not a girl, Tue 23 Nov 2010, 2:31, Reply)

Retro Sweets
I remember Spangles, Funny Faces and the rest - What are your memories of early-consumerism fads? I bought an ice-lolly in 1977 because it came with a cardboard C-3PO mask.

What did you buy as a child, and why?
( SnackyOx Who? What? Whang?, Sat 20 Nov 2010, 21:19, Reply)

My Dad once pushed a car out of Grace Jonses arse
What unlikely sounding, yet completely true claims to fame do you have?

(it was a Spitting Image pisstake of this btw - www.youtube.com/watch?v=kdT9oURGtTc )
(djlumpyrulesok beware of cousin Mosquito and his solo, Sat 20 Nov 2010, 0:41, Reply)

Recently
I was searching for a car insurance quote on t'interwebnet when I saw a large spider in the middle of the living-room floor, bold as brass. So I pursued it out of the room with a pencil. But by then, the website had timed out and I had to do the tedious data entry all over again.

What time consuming financial services applications have you had interrupted by cheeky arachnids which were dealt with using stationery? Perhaps you were applying for a credit card when you had to shoo a scorpion with a protractor
( sandettie light vessel automatic New Twitter - @bollocksreally, Thu 18 Nov 2010, 14:16, 2 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

Desecration
When have you scrawled all over something you shouldn't have? Tell us about your vandalism

Just cashing in on the latest trend
( sandettie light vessel automatic New Twitter - @bollocksreally, Thu 18 Nov 2010, 14:11, Reply)

Disastrous Dates ...
I went out on a date with a dashing young Air Force Cadet. We had dinner, saw a movie, went for a drink and I thrashed his arse at pool. Repeatedly. He never called. :(

So tell us your stories of not impressing a member of the opposite/same sex.
(Que?, Thu 18 Nov 2010, 6:35, 1 reply, 14 years ago)

What are the chances?
After rinsing it out, I accidentally dropped an empty Coke bottle which bounced on it's side and stood upside down on it's neck and stayed like that. When I went and told my family they didn't believe me.

What have you done/witnessed that was so unbelieveable that no-one will believe you?
( sandettie light vessel automatic New Twitter - @bollocksreally, Thu 18 Nov 2010, 0:12, 4 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

Lonely Planet
I never took a gap year, nor have I travelled the world, but I'm seriously thinking about jacking this work nonsense in and heading off.

I'm also too tight to buy a guide book.

So, b3ta - tell me your tales of travelling. What have you done that I should definitely do. What have you done that I should definitely not?
(Thebigfella, Wed 17 Nov 2010, 16:14, 7 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

showing off gone wrong.
My son does a bit of free-running/parkour. Whilst talking about it to Mrs SLVA I said 'I used to do stuff like that, watch this' as I went to vault over my parents' front gate. However, I caught my foot and faceplanted onto the bonnet of my dad's car.
( sandettie light vessel automatic New Twitter - @bollocksreally, Wed 17 Nov 2010, 15:28, 1 reply, 14 years ago)

Fantasy fisticuffs
Does every QoTW have to be based on anecdotal reality?

I would like to know which two people you would like to see fight each other, and how and what the outcome would be?
( Herman Blume is unique, just like everyone else, Wed 17 Nov 2010, 13:19, Reply)

Its the thought that counts..
Ever meant well, and put it across wrong?
A female friend going through her "im ugly" phase was told by me that "If I was the Yorkshire ripper, I wouldve went for ya."
I then realised he only went at prostitutes.
I told her last night that I loved her like Fritzl loves his kids when questioned if I find her attractive..
Ill get the hang of it one day.
(bredstkcriminal, Wed 17 Nov 2010, 1:57, Reply)