Charity or Charidee
Begins and ends at home, or do you get sponsored to ride to your job at the Terence Higgins Trust everyday?

Have you been a chugger or have you run the London Marathon dressed as a Snickers bar?

Have you spent a year in a Zimbabean village on VSO, or did you used to collect milk bottle tops for Blue Peter appeals?
(Che Grimsdale Best before:, Tue 24 May 2011, 14:19, Reply)

Family
What does it mean to you? Eternal support and love, or those bastards that I wouldn't piss on if they were on fire?

Have you got a massive extended family or is it just you and your partner?

Grapes of Wrath, or the Simpsons?

Do tell.
(Che Grimsdale Best before:, Tue 24 May 2011, 14:06, Reply)

Breaking in and out
Once summer during our student days a friend and I decided to spend the day stoned at the local wildlife/mr blobby theme park, it was a crafty plan, involving an early start, a long walk and climbing a 10ft fence/hedge. The day was spent winding up all the friends who A. Worked there, B. could have given us a lift and C. got us in for free.

What have you broken into/out of?
(bluehamster, Mon 23 May 2011, 20:46, Reply)

when having multiple tabs open for teh same site
make sure to check where you are before posting
( fluffybunnykiller Is feasting on the clitoris of life, Mon 23 May 2011, 19:34, Reply)

annoying phone calls
Phone calls from PC Care 24/7 why not do this
thy called me just a moment ago and some poor indian call center script reader started his spiel
after his initial flurry of gibberish he started to ask me to press the ctrl key on the left of my keyboard
me is that my left or your left this ran around for a good minute
next came the request for the R key
me can you spell that for me please again a couple of mins to get round this part
next came the call for the windows key
me i am sorry i dont have a windows key
yes you have
me no i havnt my windows have arms not a key
next was what can you see on your screen ?
me not sure , its all in braille
again this carried on for a good couple of mins
finaly once you have done that can you run
me sorry i cant run i am in a wheel chair with legs like a babys cock
at this point i started to ask for the supervisor and then sudenly they hung up

dont know why
( fluffybunnykiller Is feasting on the clitoris of life, Mon 23 May 2011, 17:07, Reply)

Social gaffes
From passing the port the wrong way to calling someone 'Ducks' when you should have called them 'Love'. What social gaffes have you committed?
(Smale is stuffed, Mon 23 May 2011, 11:24, Reply)

Utter Bollocks
A middle-aged friend of the family pulled me up the other day as I hadn't acknowledged her wave as I drove past her a few days previous; "apparently" it's rude for drivers not to make eye-contact with pedestrians and/or drivers going in the opposite direction whilst driving...

What utter bollocks have you been advised on as true?
(SonoraAeroClub "OH SWEET HELEN OF BALLS!", Sun 22 May 2011, 23:15, Reply)

suicide and technology
what has modern technology done for you or suicidal friends?
has it made it easy or harder to clear out the gene pool

eg people often like to top them them selfs with a late lie in on rail line but how would that be possible on a mag lev train?

or doused in flammable petrol but only have safety matches and no sticker

or maybe you lied about grandad having a pace maker when he had to go for a mri scan what hilarious things could would you do ?
answers on a ouja board please
( fluffybunnykiller Is feasting on the clitoris of life, Fri 20 May 2011, 17:06, Reply)

Super injuctions!
We don't know who's got a super injuction or why, so why not make some up! Or have you had a real-life close-encounter with something that should be a big secret but then everyone found out?
(placenta pug life, Fri 20 May 2011, 15:05, 1 reply, 13 years ago)

Katie Price would make a good inflatable sex doll
for people that find current inflatable sex dolls too realistic looking.
( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Fri 20 May 2011, 13:29, 1 reply, 13 years ago)

Why did you do that?
Sometime people are too stupid for words,
like my mate Nookie who thought it would
be funny to shave his brothers eyebrows and draw a
swastika in permanent marker on his face, the night before his brother was to have a major interview for a Honda accord style job.

Needless to say the job wasn't given and Nookie had a beating.
( The Mock Turtle ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Thu 19 May 2011, 11:32, Reply)

esprit d'escalier
Give us your examples.
(Kitty Fantastico "Dwarf, Anorexic and In a Fight ", Thu 19 May 2011, 11:30, 2 replies, latest was 13 years ago)

Advice from Your Father
We've had advice from Old People, and Good Advice, but I think this specific category is a potential gold mine.

The best advice my father gave me: Never turn your back on an angry woman. Illustrated with an impressive scar.
(danalan Pretty good, for an amateur., Wed 18 May 2011, 17:45, Reply)

Dead loved ones.
Many of us have them, some more than others, so let's pour out the grief and see if we can get the fuck over them.
( stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Tue 17 May 2011, 12:56, 19 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

Zero-to-Hero
Unknown guy turning up at a dry party with two crates of beer, someone you didn't really like until you found they could dance like a demon or had the most bizarre talent.

Share your stories of when you, or someone you know, turned from zero to hero. Ensuing high-fives optional.
(ThatNiceMan thought he was being funny, Tue 17 May 2011, 9:44, Reply)

Are your children retarded?
Just getting ahead of the game here...
( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Tue 17 May 2011, 8:37, 2 replies, latest was 13 years ago)

Investments wise or otherewise
Tell us of your wall streetesque triumphs or epic failures like the poor fellow I used to work with who invested in some viagra and spent the night in tears as his cock stood to attention til the early morn.
( dazbrilliantwhites has been meaning to change this..., Mon 16 May 2011, 19:07, Reply)

Folk Songs For The 21st Century.
Traditional music is full of songs about occupations and ways of life that nowadays sound romantic - I'm talking songs like 'The Raggle Taggle Gypsy', 'The Outlandish Knight', 'Sheffield Grinders' and so on.

Suggest modern equivalents/updates.
( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Mon 16 May 2011, 14:08, 4 replies, latest was 13 years ago)

Where you grew up.
Let us know how ridiculously privileged you were or how shamefully impoverished your area was. The characters and the cunts of your early life and why where you lived was the best/worst place to grow up.
( dazbrilliantwhites has been meaning to change this..., Mon 16 May 2011, 9:07, 1 reply, 13 years ago)

Irrational rules you live by.
It is wrong for someone to illegally download music by artists who are likely to be in the same or lower wage bracket than the person downloading.

If people walk down a pavement double-file and they expect you to pass them by stepping in the road, then it is perfectly acceptable to barge them out of the way as hard as you want.

If two people are walking in opposite directions on the same side of the pavement, the person walking on the right side should give way, because that's what cars would do. I'm not sure if this rule is reversed on the Continent.

What irrational rules have you created that you get annoyed if people break?
( monkeon schmonkeon, Sat 14 May 2011, 15:09, Reply)

Crap grammar.
Just posted a message on the latest conpo insinuating (due to my bad grammar) that the person I was talking about played 'church of england flute, I was thinking about it when I witnessed a sign reading "The ladies of the Church have cast off clothing of every kind." what bad grammar experiences have made you laugh or get you into serious trouble?
( skeltonator Needs some new daps., Fri 13 May 2011, 22:39, Reply)

The shitty end of the stick.
I'm taking voluntary redundancy at the end of June. To celebrate this fact, I've been taken off normal duties and asked to carry out a 'special project' for the agency, before the work transfers across to another department. So I'm spending the next six or seven weeks in another department that manages some funding for us, checking that 1300 files have the correct information on them 'for audit purposes' so they can be transferred into the new department. Except the department currently holding the files doesn't want to transfer them, resulting in much argumentative hilarity, with me stuck in the middle.

What soul destroying tasks has your boss asked you to do for the greater good?
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Thu 12 May 2011, 19:21, 1 reply, 13 years ago)

Overheard conversations.
I managed to catch
'...and don't even think about biting me on the tit again'
from the basement flat yesterday. I don't know why people leave their windows open then yell shit like that.
( JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Thu 12 May 2011, 10:49, 1 reply, 14 years ago)

Conversation killers
We were an all-male group (not the singing sort) and were in the pub having a beer or two and having a hypothetical conversation; "I wonder what it's like to be in space" said one. "I wonder what it's like it's like to win the lottery and be THAT rich!" said another. Weird boy pipes up quizzically, "I wonder what it's like to get bummed."

Share your conversation killers.
(ThatNiceMan thought he was being funny, Thu 12 May 2011, 10:21, Reply)

Worst Date ever ...
Did you throw up on that lovely girl from accounts after spending 3 months getting up the nerve to ask her out? Did your date end in Accident and Emergency? Did you accidentally destroy his ego by thrashing him at snooker?

Tell us, tell us, tell us please ...
(Que?, Thu 12 May 2011, 0:54, 2 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

Gross-out Competition
Write the most disgusting thing you can think of. Can be fictional or factional.
(Nitrous Nitrous, Wed 11 May 2011, 20:44, 3 replies, latest was 13 years ago)

Protesters
Tell us about the protests you've been on, how many rucks you've got into with The Pigs, and how many shops you've smashed up in order to stick it to The Man.
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Wed 11 May 2011, 15:36, Reply)