The right place at the right time
One morning, when I was 11 years old, I was walking to school and found a five-pound note on the pavement. I looked to see if there was anyone else around. Glancing up, I saw, for the first time in my life, a real live naked woman standing at a window. Tell us about the times you thought the gods were smiling upon you.
( ThisCaledonianClown has left it far too late, Thu 13 Oct 2011, 11:20, Reply)

"Things I have found down the back of my sofa"

( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Thu 13 Oct 2011, 8:45, 1 reply, 13 years ago)

Well that was a bit odd...
For example, the time me and a mate got chatting to a couple of blokes in a pub who, upon us leaving, asked us if we wanted to go to the local park with them for a fight. I said no thanks...
(SnowyTheWereRabbit the Leporid from Hell, Wed 12 Oct 2011, 23:58, Reply)

A question that can't just be answered with one word followed by, "nuff said"
Cos this weeks question has been the worst one yet
(wehttamman via B3ta for microwave, Wed 12 Oct 2011, 23:23, 4 replies, latest was 13 years ago)

Things we have tried and failed
Have you taken up fly tying to impress your new girlfriend's fly fishing dad and ended up spending three hours in A&E having hooks removed from your eyelids?
( number5 has been fighting tramps and losing., Wed 12 Oct 2011, 19:33, Reply)

KItchen/ cooking tales
It has been suggested umpteen times before and I refuse to believe it is as lacking in scope as this week's has been.
( number5 has been fighting tramps and losing., Wed 12 Oct 2011, 19:31, Reply)

if i was a board mod for a day
tell us all about how a little power would corrupt you and allow you to abuse your position.
Maybe you could post a dodgy QoTHW and watch as people try to full fill the brief, or turn every one against every one and watch the big 2011 internet hissyfit from a safe distance?
and definitely tell us what you would do with that lot or there in /talk
( fluffybunnykiller Is feasting on the clitoris of life, Wed 12 Oct 2011, 19:14, 1 reply, 13 years ago)

Give thanks
I'm overweight, unemployed, bored and miserable. Ditto the missus. It's raining, cold and the nights are drawing in. And the Hydrocephalus baby with the enormous purple birthmark I saw at the playground yesterday made me realise just how lucky I am to have a happy, loving family, wonderful; child, warm house etc. etc.

I think it's time for b3tans to give thanks for what they have (or what others don't, for the terminally shit amongst us)
(pounana Slept well, and dreamed of large women, on, Wed 12 Oct 2011, 17:06, 2 replies, latest was 13 years ago)

How about not having a qotw this week,
just to give people a chance to fabricate some well-researched lies for a change.
( BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Wed 12 Oct 2011, 14:44, Reply)

Games you play inside your own head
I always turn getting the petrol price gauge bang-on '.00' into an impromptu game show, with dire imaginary consequences for losing. I also occasionally rate random strangers' looks when bored on the train (and not with the missus). What games do you play to amuse yourself, either to while away the boredom, or simply to make life more fun?
(Godwin's Lawyer is more evil than Hitler, Wed 12 Oct 2011, 13:22, 3 replies, latest was 13 years ago)

why not let the mods make there own reparations for such a shite QoTW
by coming up with some thing fun and original, just as a way of saying sorry?
( fluffybunnykiller Is feasting on the clitoris of life, Wed 12 Oct 2011, 12:54, Reply)

Celebrity relateteds shenanigans
A few years ago my wife ended up getting in a bidding war for a signed photo of Austin Healey, she won...but the bidding war was against Austin himself.

Time for more tales of what you've done to impress a celebrity.
(bluehamster, Tue 11 Oct 2011, 20:13, Reply)

stupid things that give you THE FEAR
has an old lady with a blue rinse scared you shitless on a bus?
was it the lolypop lady with the crossed eyes that gave you shivers
or the thought of that spoty dirty skanky 18 year old tossing burgers at macdonalds touching your food make you boke?

regail us with your irational fears and what you do to counter them
( fluffybunnykiller Is feasting on the clitoris of life, Mon 10 Oct 2011, 19:44, Reply)

I think we should have one called 'really obvious crushes'.

( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Mon 10 Oct 2011, 11:47, 4 replies, latest was 13 years ago)

Celebrity sex
My old boss once shagged Kate Bush and a friend of mine did Craig McLaughlin after he appeared at our university freshers week.

Tell us about your low (or high) rent celebrity sex stories.
(stewiegriffin, Fri 7 Oct 2011, 13:18, 1 reply, 13 years ago)

Elementary, my dear b3ta.
Mystery! It surrounds us on every side!

Tell us about your feats of deduction and the little mysteries you've solved.
Alternatively, tell us about the simple, everyday things that mystified you for far too long.
(universalpsykopath loves what you've done with your hair., Fri 7 Oct 2011, 9:46, 1 reply, 13 years ago)

Great lies to tell small children.
I was so proud when my sister reported to me that my eldest nephew on his first day at school had informed the class that sheep grow from the flaxen, woolley seeds you find in sheep fields.

Let's have some more lies you've enjoyed telling children for your own amusement.
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Thu 6 Oct 2011, 12:22, Reply)

Brothers & Sisters
We've done your mum's & your dad's, time to tell us your stories about your brothers and sisters, the good, the bad and the ugly. Even room for you spoilt kids without brothers and sisters to tell us your stories.
(bROKEN aRROW PUA HVI Master, Thu 6 Oct 2011, 11:41, 4 replies, latest was 13 years ago)

Ennui
What have you done because you were bored?

I'm thinking of the time I memorised the monarchs of England since 1066 on a long car journey, then spent a week annoying my parents by reciting the list.
(SnowyTheWereRabbit the Leporid from Hell, Thu 6 Oct 2011, 10:33, Reply)

Car numbers plates.
I once saw one that was P E N 1 5 LOLOLOLOLOL
( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Wed 5 Oct 2011, 20:02, Reply)

Interviews
I only have one story so I'm keeping it just in case :p
( dazbrilliantwhites has been meaning to change this..., Wed 5 Oct 2011, 13:44, Reply)

Emergency Services
Tell us your tall tales of bent coppers, hunky firemen and sexy nurses.
(SonoraAeroClub "OH SWEET HELEN OF BALLS!", Wed 5 Oct 2011, 12:53, Reply)

Driving tests!
how many attempts, how you failed (if you did), stupid instructors/examiners, crappy test cars etc.

those who dont drive can say about other peoples tests (driving tests, not genital testes) :D

(extra points if you crashed, ran over somebody or your instructor got uberly pissed off/scared)
(D.I.pshit solved another case on, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 22:23, 2 replies, latest was 13 years ago)

Skiving Off Part II
Your B3TA QOTW monkey can't be arsed to update the question this week, and will be on a boat somewhere instead. What lame excuses have you used to skive off?
( Scaryduck LIKES EGG, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 21:08, 2 replies, latest was 13 years ago)

Failed tests
What catastrophicaly bad thing have you done that has resulted in you failing a test? Shat yourself in an exam? Run over a pensioner during your driving test? Accidentally called the female interviewer fat? Answered C on a true or false quiz?
(wehttamman via B3ta for microwave, Sun 2 Oct 2011, 5:39, Reply)

make some shit up about some shit you didnt do
any traces of truth will lead to your arse being removed with a blunt hedge trimmer
( fluffybunnykiller Is feasting on the clitoris of life, Thu 29 Sep 2011, 20:54, Reply)

The time I didn't have sex...
...because I reckon we've all got loads of material about this.
(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Thu 29 Sep 2011, 12:32, 5 replies, latest was 13 years ago)

Firsts
Tell us about the first time you did something. How did it go?
( Ring Of Fire A petty, drooling belming butthurt retard., Thu 29 Sep 2011, 11:41, 2 replies, latest was 13 years ago)

Did you know?
If you play a Barry White track at 72 decibels or louder, 38% of women in a 5-mile radius will get pregnant.

What's the most interesting factoid could you make up?
(ThatNiceMan thought he was being funny, Wed 28 Sep 2011, 15:55, 6 replies, latest was 13 years ago)