Performing
Are you in a band? Are you an actor? Do you pour paint up your bum and then fart it onto canvas in front of a live audience, to the musical accompaniment of your best friend's jazz band? Tell us about it....
(SnowyTheWereRabbit the Leporid from Hell, Thu 7 Feb 2013, 10:46, Reply)

Up the duff!
Was it a 'shit fuck my life' moment or a 'YAY! there is going to be a mini-me' when you did the dreaded test.
Did your ugly baby come flying out into your catchers mitt or did you nearly die from stress/blood loss.
Cheer up those expectant parents with your tales of horror from the maternity ward.
( Herb Alpert's Taxi Driver I have very beautiful lips, Wed 6 Feb 2013, 20:24, Reply)

TRIPLE T
Tell us about the time you 'trolled the trolls' and were TOTES just posting something to get a reaction from the usual bullies who are ruining QOTW with their jokes. Cheers.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 6 Feb 2013, 9:51, Reply)

Oh god, oh god, SHUT UP!
It's one thing to embarrass yourself, but what about the situations where you can see someone's just about to put their foot in it so badly that if you summoned a shoggoth to eat them, it would still be a better ending than letting them finish their sentence?
( Colonel Boris "...a desperate Buzzfeed imitation...", Tue 5 Feb 2013, 21:32, Reply)

the Internet is boring.
tell everyone your favourite go-to sites apart from porn that you head for when you've read literally everything else the Internet has to offer. go on, show off about how esoteric your tastes are.
( janet aylia y'all motherfuckers need jesus, Tue 5 Feb 2013, 18:53, 2 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

Mastermind.
To go on Mastermind you have to nominate three specialist subjects you want to answer questions on. What are your three specialist subjects, and what qualifies you as an 'expert' in them?
( Rotating Wobbly Hat That's not a banana. THIS is a banana., Tue 5 Feb 2013, 17:16, 2 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

Lego.
Tell us* all what amazing stuff you've got up to with Lego in the past.

* Apart from you Emvee, you fucking pervert.
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 5 Feb 2013, 15:28, Reply)

since everyone is posting boring stories about their bland lives
why not make it qotw? what's the most boring thing you've ever done, why is your life so unremarkable? the most boring story wins.
( The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Tue 5 Feb 2013, 12:37, 2 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

QOTW suggestion
Have you ever done something with the best of intentions only to have it go horribly wrong in ways you never even suspected were possible?
(Smudge the Demon, Mon 4 Feb 2013, 20:41, 1 reply, 12 years ago)

Chairs.

( BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Mon 4 Feb 2013, 16:48, 1 reply, 12 years ago)

Misreading News Headlines
When you see "Osbourne backs bank break-up powers" do you wonder what Ozzy is up to?
Or does "Tory chairs urge gay marriage delay" get your thinking about homophobic furniture?
(GingerIrishTosser isn't dead yet., Mon 4 Feb 2013, 11:45, 1 reply, 12 years ago)

Best
Trolling stories. Have you ever been such a tedious cunt as to be arsed to troll. Bore us with your inconsequential tales of being a keyboard warrior.
( social hand grenade I was a lurker before you were a lurker, Thu 31 Jan 2013, 21:55, Reply)

When did you last shit yourself?
Did you piss yourself too?
( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Thu 31 Jan 2013, 12:46, 2 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

When did it all go wrong?
At what point did the crushing realisation that it was all about to go tits up occur?
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 31 Jan 2013, 11:57, Reply)

What the fuck is wrong with you people?

(PsychoChomp, Thu 31 Jan 2013, 11:51, 1 reply, 12 years ago)

The naughty step.
Tell us when you've been told off. Online or off.
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 28 Jan 2013, 19:59, Reply)

The naughty man on the telly lied to me.
Massive advertising lies- when did you last feel totally ripped off, or suspected you were going to be sold some snake oil, magic beans or technological gadget-bollocks that wouldn't improve your life one iota
?
( Rotating Wobbly Hat That's not a banana. THIS is a banana., Mon 28 Jan 2013, 19:14, Reply)

Droids.
Tell us about when you thought some droids were the ones you were looking for, but it turned out they weren't.
(username failed moderation, Thu 24 Jan 2013, 11:55, 2 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

Disappointment.
Tell us tales of having your hopes and expectations cruelly dashed by utter shitness.

Extra points for referencing the Star Wars prequels like a 13 year old boy.
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Thu 24 Jan 2013, 9:59, Reply)

Confused
When have you been confused?






Hello?
(Brigadier an old boot sitting on a man's face - forever, Thu 24 Jan 2013, 6:56, Reply)

Who is your favourite government minister?
And why?
(speedevil, Wed 23 Jan 2013, 17:53, Reply)

PUBS
Tell the class all about your classic pub tales.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 22 Jan 2013, 10:22, 2 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

Knock it down and build a Wetherspoons instead.
Cheers.
( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Mon 21 Jan 2013, 23:25, Reply)

Unintended internet irony
Cheers
(Captain Placid 24/7 ball gags, brownie mix and clown porn, Mon 21 Jan 2013, 22:42, Reply)

Unwarranted Self Importance.
Cheers.

Failing that, tell us about the time you celebrated when a mentally ill child killed themself after being sexually assaulted.
( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Mon 21 Jan 2013, 15:08, 1 reply, 12 years ago)

When Natural Selection is too slow to save you from embarrassment
One of my cousins was labeled "The Dumbest Criminal in the County" by the press for writing a bank holdup note on his employer's stationery. Have your friends or family caused you to lose a measure of hope for mankind's future?
(Perv With A Dog had his eyes pecked out by scrub jays on, Mon 21 Jan 2013, 7:57, Reply)

When did you last have a breakdown?
No silly, not THAT kind of breakdown.
You're silly.
( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Mon 21 Jan 2013, 0:31, 1 reply, 12 years ago)

What is your nicest but slightly back handed complement you have received so far?
As most QTOW the week replies seem to be full of angst mad ramblings of window licking shutins, lets have something nice for once.

I got told by a friends husband that i have really nice hand writing, but it looks like Jack The Rippers
( The invisible ham Fig rolls are the best, Sat 19 Jan 2013, 16:17, Reply)

Unintended consequences
Have you ever done or said something that had completely unintended consequences. For example I groped one of my friends bottoms while standing at a bar in a club but it turned out it wasn't - sometime later the girls boyfriends decked my mate who was standing next to me - my mate never realised that the girl I had groped had mistook him for me. Another example would be voting Liberal Democrat at the last General Election believing they would scrap tuition fees!
(Big Ted, Fri 18 Jan 2013, 19:36, Reply)