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There's a pile of scrap timber, rubble and general turds in the road opposite my work with a hand-written sign reading "Free Shed". Tell us about random, completely hatstand stuff and people you've seen
Suggested by Sandettie Light Vessel Automatic
( , Thu 21 Apr 2011, 11:38)
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sonic on the xbox beside me whilst I fed his brother. Being three he didn't get to finish the level and after a time I heard the tell tale BUUUBUUMMM as sonic ran out of time to finish the level.
What I didn't expect to hear was my son mutter "Jeezuz Cwist" as he put the controller down and headed off to play with his toy cars.
( , Thu 21 Apr 2011, 14:25, 19 replies)
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It is rather funny, hearing his 3yo saying "Ucks-ache" when something goes wrong!
( , Thu 21 Apr 2011, 14:46, closed)
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have had one ucks ake from our boy and thankfully thats as far as he got. My wife works in a local creche and he attends when I'm working. One day he came home and was spitting everywhere. Turns out my wifes boss had spent the entire day previous teaching him how to spit.
Also my cousins kids are convinced that yellow is blue thanks to their mischievous uncle.
( , Thu 21 Apr 2011, 14:54, closed)
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One of my other sister's kids instructed his first teacher that sheep are grown from the seeds of wool you find in fields. I was so proud.
( , Thu 21 Apr 2011, 14:58, closed)
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a song with guitar accompaniment for his nieces and nephews,
Can you touch your nose?,
Can you touch your toes?,
Who your favourite uncle?,
RORY!!!!
Favorite uncle out of seven brothers.
( , Thu 21 Apr 2011, 15:03, closed)
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I'm always sure to tell them that their other uncles are the ones who took the sweets. It generally works, although they're learning to read my face quite closely now.
( , Thu 21 Apr 2011, 15:13, closed)
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My sister was telling me how she went shopping with her youngest, and got cut up on the drive home.
When her husband came home that night she was narked with him for some reason, and her youngest piped up "Mummy is daddy a fucking arsehole?"
( , Thu 21 Apr 2011, 14:47, closed)
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When I was a tiny Scars, my Grandma noticed that I had a big insect bite on my backside. I can't have been much more than 3.
"Ooh dear TinyScars, you've been bitten by a harvest bug."
Next day, Mrs Harrison, the vicar's wife and pillar of WI rectitude called. Probably to see what the vile brat-spawning Catholics were up to, but that's for another day.
Being a polite child, I greeted her thus:
"Good morning Mrs. Harrison. I've been BUGRARRED. On my bottom. Would you like to see it?"
Mrs. Harrison's eyebrows' couldn't have gone higher if they were attached to a rocket, and she never came back.
( , Thu 21 Apr 2011, 15:05, closed)
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A few weeks ago my wife was driving our three year old to the shops and was commenting to her on the silly people who were not moving out of the way (Tesco carpark I recal), when my daughter said "Run them out of the way". I got the blame for that, well xbox and me. GTA games are great ain't they.
( , Thu 21 Apr 2011, 14:58, closed)
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...and uttered the immortal line "Granddad, I'm going to kick you in the bellend".
( , Thu 21 Apr 2011, 15:39, closed)
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That's a pretty sound tactic when you have a larger but slower opponent.
( , Thu 21 Apr 2011, 15:44, closed)
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When a car put his brakes on a bit hard in front for no reason, i exclaimed "watch it!", as i tend to temper my language in front of him, he pipes up "You're supposed to say for fuck's sake".
Rather alarmed i told him he's not supposed to swear like that he calmly replied "yes I know, I'm not supposed to say fuck or shit or bollocks". I think he may have continued for a few words longer, but I didn't hear for laughing.
My sister was rather red-faced when I related the story to her later :~)
( , Fri 22 Apr 2011, 1:48, closed)
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Love it! When my younger sister was three, she was right into making complex lego constructions but she had a habit of accidentally knocking them over. Once, I was out of her sight in the next room - I had a clear view of her though. She knocked over her creation, had a quick look around to see nobody was there and exclaimed "oh shit". My parents initially denied it, but after extended interrogation my dad admitted he'd knocked over his teacup earlier that day and swore in front of her. Scary how easily they pick up new words.
( , Sat 23 Apr 2011, 12:34, closed)
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