First girlfriend
OK, I admit, she was a ginger.

"No," she said, pulling away from our first passionate embrace, "you can't kiss me."

"Why not?" I spluttered, my johnson rapdily deflating to the size and shape of an airbed nozzle.

"Because..." she started, suddenly embarrassed at the thought of having to explain grown-up stuff her boyfriend, "Because..."

"Yes?"

She blurted it all out:

"Because we'll end up having to have sex an' you'll have to put your thingy in my mimsy an' wiggle it about an' then wee in me mimsy an' then I have to wee on your thingy an' then I have a baby out my bum an' an' an' it's gross"

The things they teach you in ginger school. I returned to the Grattan Catalogue (pages 230-256) for my thrills.
( Scaryduck LIKES EGG, Fri 26 Sep 2008, 8:39, 7 replies)

Ah...the Grattan catalogue...

*reminisces*

*spluffs*
( Pooflake braces for an onslaught..., Fri 26 Sep 2008, 9:30, closed)

It's not the same...
... now it's all on the internet.
( Scaryduck LIKES EGG, Fri 26 Sep 2008, 9:39, closed)

But you can order
stuff without having to talk to the nice lady anymore.

Which is nice.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 26 Sep 2008, 9:57, closed)

deflating to the size and shape of an airbed nozzle.
Oh the mental image.
Accompanied by a small, sad squeak.
(Sundayturkey has the biggest mug of tea, Fri 26 Sep 2008, 10:09, closed)

Ginger birds do go like a rocket though

well mine does anywho x
(TwinkleFuckingToes Has a ingrown toe nail, Fri 26 Sep 2008, 12:01, closed)

yeah but
rusty roof, smelly garage
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 26 Sep 2008, 13:27, closed)

^^
First choke of the week - thanks Vipros

Note to self: invest in a screen/keyboard guard for those 'just-swallowing-coffee-while-reading-QOTW' moments
( snee held his breath since, Mon 29 Sep 2008, 12:33, closed)