Well I'll be fucked..

This is not about how I went on holiday with a girl after we just split up (because I still wanted a surf trip to Costa Rica) and how I spent the week sharing an uncomfortable frigid bed with her. Or even that, out of misplaced loyalty, I turned down licking chocolate syrup off her gorgeous drunk, flight attendant friend, who was gagging for it and told me exactly what I missed as she jetted off to somewhere else the following week.

That's a whole other story.

This post is about a previous question: "The B3TA Detective Agency. Tell us about your feats of deduction and the little mysteries you've solved. Alternatively, tell us about the simple, everyday things that mystified you for far too long."

After years and years of reading and posting to B3ta I just this minute finally got what "pearoast" means...
( gp_guineapig, Thu 8 Dec 2011, 22:49, 16 replies)

*checks for seismic activity*

Yup, there it is.
(roysin, Thu 8 Dec 2011, 23:01, closed)

nice, but...
What the fuck does aicmpf stand for?
(Greencloud Wanted to go fishing on, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 1:47, closed)

aicmpf?
and I can't make my penis fart?
AICMFP...
(emadex thinks the world will end on, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 2:33, closed)

Anger-inducing cretins making feeble puns

( emvee cruor deo cruoris, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 8:31, closed)

And I Call My Friends Pillocks.
(Horace's Mouse, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 8:31, closed)

Didn't know that..always accredited it to Alexei Sayle's operation countryman sketch.

Everyday a school day here on B3ta
( bane, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 8:43, closed)

<puts on serious hat>
it stands for 'And I Claim My Five Pounds' relating to people posting a QOTW answer and people guessing who they were referring to 'claim £5'. I would put an exmaple below but would only humiliate myself with a lack of ability to write a suitable bit
(Studentken is looking for motivation on, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 8:46, closed)

I believe it actually relates
to a competition, details of which escape me.

Let's imagine it was run by a radio station, or something like that. They would send an employee out each day, and the audience would have some way to track down this employee. When they did, they would win £5.

They would be required to say 'You're [whoever], and I claim my £5'. Said employee would then hand over the crisp fiver.

Edit - it's explained properly on the link above. It was a newspaper.
(username failed moderation, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 9:42, closed)

This was a common phrase a LOOOOONNNNG time ago - like maybe the 1960s?
It probably only survives as a concept here in B3ta - the graveyard of memes.
(moon monkey is busy making memories worth repressing, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 10:40, closed)

Also plays a part in Brighton Rock
Kolly Kibber or something? You went up to him and said "Your Kolly Kibber and I claim my five pounds"
(Che Grimsdale Best before:, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 10:46, closed)

Viz
It was also run a lot in the Viz letters page, where the variation would be someone writing in and ending the letter (for whatever reason) with 'Do I win £5?'. Sort of like 'length?'..
( DeadEyeDick, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 11:30, closed)

Oh dear.
Both parts of your story.
Dear, oh dear.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 9:01, closed)

I figured that one out
but I cannot get toap

Its probably blindingly obvious but I just haven't been able to work it out.
(karnuvap, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 14:30, closed)

Text On A Picture
dictionary.mictoboy.co.uk/define/TOAP/
(repooc, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 15:41, closed)

Tbh, you might wanna check the rest of that out as well....

(repooc, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 15:42, closed)

Thanks
Well - that was time well spent. You'll never catch me out again, dammed internets!
(karnuvap, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 15:49, closed)