As other people are sharing doing quizzes then I shall mention the time that a local'ish' pub had reached their
£500 jackpot maximum. You win the quiz to go forward to a 'Play your cards right' or answer the super hard jackpot question. I had never been to this pub for the quiz and years since I had last been and with the one other person we won the quiz. I opted to take the super hard question and the question master asked, what is gymnophobia?

Which isn't really a super hard question. So I faked having to think about it and then gave the answer. £500, thank you.
( d.r._and_quinch when will you be famous?, Tue 21 Oct 2014, 11:09, 4 replies)

your mum lol

( idonthaveafunnynickname Drink-Aware? Sure. I'm aware I want another drink., Mon 20 Oct 2014, 21:27, 4 replies)

Oooo, forgot this one.
I've got about 15 words/phrases in the Viz Profanisaurus and been printed in Private Eye a few times (including one post which made it to the 2013 Annual).
*prouds*
( Fray Brentos *mega-belms*, Mon 20 Oct 2014, 21:06, 6 replies)

Pub quiz
I got the exact answer on one of those maverick questions thrown out in the middle of pub quizzes. Question was "in what year did Mozart die". Without breaking stride, I just said '1791'. Won a bottle of prosecco.
Studied him in A-Level German about 20 years ago, dint I? Never thought it would come in handy. Well proud.
( Fray Brentos *mega-belms*, Mon 20 Oct 2014, 21:05, 15 replies)

I got a letter published in the Transformers comic.
Issue ninety-something, it had Jetfire on the cover.

Had to chase the cunts to send me my mini-Autobot, though.
(Plague Hedgehog 'posting crap', Mon 20 Oct 2014, 20:06, 13 replies)

I once cooked dinner for Tom Cruise and Nicole Kidman all by myself.

(Baggenfrock get fucked, Mon 20 Oct 2014, 16:44, 13 replies)

I wrote a silly limerick on B3ta
and won a 7 Seconds of Love CD.
I've also won things for doing the (now defunct) Viz defacement competition.
(The Empress it seems you CAN polish a turd!, Mon 20 Oct 2014, 16:11, 1 reply)

I get as much good sex as I want and I drive a fast car.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 20 Oct 2014, 15:41, 12 replies)

I may have mentioned this before
But me and my mate not only won the jackpot in our 1 and only episode of popular late-afternoon TV quiz 'Pointless' but became one of only a handful of teams to name 3* pointless answers in the final.**

*technically 4, as we named another one during our deliberations.

** For those of you unfamiliar with the show, I think it's been done 5 or 6 times in 600+ episodes
(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Mon 20 Oct 2014, 14:44, 5 replies)

I won a radio phone in competition for tickets to a music festival.
The Question was What year did the Beach Boys Reach release Surfin' USA. No internets to look it up on in those days, I looked through my mums vinyl collection and read it off the sleeve of one of the best of albums.
( Peej, Mon 20 Oct 2014, 14:18, 2 replies)

On Radio Scotland there is a Saturday lunchtime football programme called 'Off The Ball'
Their website used to run a weekly caption competition.

One week (probably 10-15 years ago) the picture contained one-time England goalkeeper David Seaman, lying flat on his back, with the ball nestled in the net behind him.

My winning entry was 'Seaman Spoils Clean Sheet' for which I won an 'Off The Ball' t-shirt, which I still have to this day.
(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Mon 20 Oct 2014, 13:58, 1 reply)

I won a CD on long wave radio Atlantic 252 when I was about 13, for being able to recite that "lip smacking thirst quenching" Pepsi jingle
Tragically I can still do it without resorting to google, even now.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 20 Oct 2014, 13:40, 1 reply)

I didn't lose at a poetry slam either. In fact I won.
I didn't enter the pretentious twaddling event in the first place. That counts as a win.
(Shimrod, Mon 20 Oct 2014, 11:31, Reply)

I didn't come last at a "poetry slam" I once entered.








I came second-last
(McChinaman banned, Mon 20 Oct 2014, 11:18, Reply)

I won a "What do we want? A Cure for Tourettes! When do we want it? Cunt!"T-Shirt from a competition about swearing on bee-three-tee-ay

( Peej, Mon 20 Oct 2014, 9:03, 6 replies)

5th of November
On the 5th of November in 2003 I had a bonfire. I have never previously had a bonfire night party. I only decided to have one because I wanted to burn someone in a fire. It didn't work out well. Dr Skagra didn't turn up and I got so drunk I pissed in my mums mouth.

I felt I have achieved something though.
( spanishfly is so fucking sexy people impersonate him, Mon 20 Oct 2014, 0:09, 1 reply)

I outed Baggenfock as a serial child sex abuser.

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Sun 19 Oct 2014, 22:06, 6 replies)

Just recently...
...two strange men have started hanging round my local shopping centre. One's a chubby Australian with a goatee, and the other one's a tall, skinny middle-aged guy in a turd-coloured corduroy jacket. They never speak to each other, even though they seem to be acquainted, and they both have a sad, haunted look in their eyes, like they're struggling with some great loss. They also seem to have a lot of spare time on their hands.

I'm sure they're harmless even though most people tend to avoid them, but if anyone knows who's responsible for them, please can you arrange to have them collected? They're really depressing everyone.

Thanks.
(Joy Division Oven Gloves Death to false metal, Sun 19 Oct 2014, 21:37, 6 replies)

Did Dr Skagra
Write the latest Dr Who script? Complete and utter shite.
( spanishfly is so fucking sexy people impersonate him, Sun 19 Oct 2014, 16:33, 6 replies)

So has anyone come forward to take credit yet for getting Shambo banned?
I mean, come on- he and baldmonkey are probably trying to get a circlejerk going somewhere. That's got to be worth something.
(Shimrod, Sun 19 Oct 2014, 15:35, 90 replies)

Close the board!
www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-29678989

Number's up, chaps...
( ousgg is not seeking approval, Sun 19 Oct 2014, 14:27, 6 replies)

The other day I thought, "I wonder how I'd do if I went blind?"
I went to the kitchen, toasted a crumpet, spread peanut butter on it, went back to the living room, put on the radio, and sat on the couch and ate my crumpet, all with my eyes closed.
( cumquat may will not be commenting further on the allegations, Sun 19 Oct 2014, 2:37, 8 replies)

I dun a poo

(McChinaman banned, Sat 18 Oct 2014, 18:33, 2 replies)

arcade game in spain
called thunder and lightning. clocked it and got my name on the top of the scoreboard.
went back about 10 years later, my name was still on top of that scoreboard. shouldn't have been as pleased as i was.
( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Sat 18 Oct 2014, 17:51, 8 replies)

I sat on top of d*zer's thread.

(DBT became a fruitarian on, Sat 18 Oct 2014, 17:25, 1 reply)

DBT has shit for braznz and sossages for fingers.



















































































































































Aids.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Sat 18 Oct 2014, 17:18, Reply)

I pushed dozer down the page.
.


































































.
(DBT became a fruitarian on, Sat 18 Oct 2014, 17:00, 1 reply)

my gamerscore is 35861

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Sat 18 Oct 2014, 15:36, 1 reply)