Well this is a story not just of fear but allso trust. The family and i took a breack to disney land paris yea {iknow why its full of ripoffs}£14.00 FOR TWO HOT DOGS and no onions. anyway i digress. Coach to the the park where upon the driver stops the coach any body whant any booze yes please i,ll take a case 30 bottles me sorted 1hour to park 15 bottles left more beer another case .Arrive at park find room go for meal see bar. Arrr beer £7.00 a pint now i know why coach driver sells beer have case in room.Finnish meal back to room beer bed sleep mourning load beer in bag 10 bottles should do breackfast plus a few bottles just to oil the engine for the ride's a head ha ha where in the park. fuck no beer allowed in park hello dear daughter my beloved one give me you'r water bottle now but dad no darling trust me it's for a good cause empty beer to water bottle aaa drink safe now for the rides daughter look dad that ride there my mate's say it's great she's only 12 ok let's go in cue two feet from ride wankers it's the f,ing thing breack's twenty minuets later on we go.O fuck the clamp come's down on to my chest fuck me thats tight i can't move then an atendent arrive's and push's it tighter now trepidation turns to fear, the fear to terrified. i,ve put my trust in a 12 year old on a ride iknow fuck all about. Arrrr where move,ing nice and slow up the mountain not to bad stops i can see day light fuck when we where queing i could see that bit thats when you herd the screems Fuck shoot in to space no fucking lights pitch black {wheres fucking riddick when you need him} can't see my hand in front of my face might have help't if i,d have open'd them fuck that tossed from one side to other will this ride ever end then it came to me do as the do in plane put head betwen legs and kiss ass good by,fuck the clamp won't let me [them sneaky basterd ride designers every one's a sadist}THEN IT'S OVER thank fk clamp relised and can breath what the fuck i'm wet how the water bottle beer shakee shakee fizzy fizzy top off beer daughter dad you've wet your pants 500 french person's lauging at the english man who was terrified and trusted his 12 year old. So what have we learnt Do not get pissed in disneyland paris do not put beer in water bottles and most of all trust a 12 year old they will terifie you
(todj, Thu 12 Apr 2012, 9:11, 15 replies)

wait, what the actual fuck?

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Thu 12 Apr 2012, 9:24, closed)

click. thats terrified me for sure.
( enoughblueskyforsailorstrousers, Thu 12 Apr 2012, 9:25, closed)

I'm fucking petrifed of the English, for certain.

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Thu 12 Apr 2012, 9:26, closed)

Eh ??
Is it just me or is this post in some kind of cryptic code?
(FF_Sam is currently on call...., Thu 12 Apr 2012, 9:35, closed)

F7
But personally I blame Poohflake, who should made you aware of B3tards thirst for correct spelling and punctuation....and line breaks :)
(bROKEN aRROW PUA HVI Master, Thu 12 Apr 2012, 9:43, closed)

If Ulysses had been written by monkeys,
it would have made more sense than this.
( .Yeti., Thu 12 Apr 2012, 9:52, closed)

( The Mock Turtle ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Thu 12 Apr 2012, 9:53, closed)

amazing
i hope to god you don't help the kid with it's homework.
that was some serious mindfart you just typed up. i imagine you reading it in the style of an overexcited 4yr old girl, no pauses, all shout 'ANDWESAWMICKEYMOUSEANDITWASGREATBUTDADSAYSITWASAMANINASUITANDILIKEDTHEDUCKSANDOOHLOOKAKITTENANDIJUSTWENTNUMBERTWOOOOOOOOOOOS!'
(UppityDamnPrimate LET'S OPEN THIS F*CKING PIT UP, Thu 12 Apr 2012, 10:07, closed)

You massive mong

( Michael Ellis contributes nothing, Thu 12 Apr 2012, 10:12, closed)

I make mistakes
I do predictive typos on my phone and only managed a C in Gcse English but fucking hell, you just grammar-raped us all in the eyes!
(Greencloud Wanted to go fishing on, Thu 12 Apr 2012, 10:54, closed)

Just to get it straight
You drank a lot of beer before taking your kids to a theme park. Your daughter takes you on a ride.

That was the story?
(Smysha Tra la la!, Thu 12 Apr 2012, 11:13, closed)

Ah!
Thank you.
I'd got as far as the third rebus iteration before I realised it wasn't some manner of latin steganography.
( DukeEuphoria Comes highly reccomended, Thu 12 Apr 2012, 11:33, closed)

I tried.
I really did.

I assumed it was a rather witty story, typed in an incoherent style so that only those that persist were rewarded with the payload.

It turns out it's just incoherent. A semi literate vomit of spelling mistakes.
(username failed moderation, Thu 12 Apr 2012, 12:10, closed)

Oh dear.
Whilst my grammar is not the best I tried reading this and felt fukin champion.
(andycrass loves two hats on, Thu 12 Apr 2012, 12:11, closed)

Hmm
It appears to be trying to communicate with us...
(Mork, Thu 12 Apr 2012, 13:18, closed)