'Meanness and drinking', hmmm
I bought a bottle of weird liqueur a year or two ago. It's a normal-looking bottle of some clear spirit with a small pear inside.

The pear is too big to have been put in through the neck of the bottle. I was told that it went in when it was tiny and underripe, and has since absorbed some of the spirit, making it swell.

I spent 50p on this bottle. I've opened and sniffed it and it does smell of spirits, with perhaps a whiff of pear, so it's genuine enough.

How desperate, and how broke/tight, will we have to get before we drink it?

Time will tell.
(Juan Quar is clinging to her front teeth on, Wed 29 Oct 2008, 17:29, 22 replies)

actually,
it sounds rather good. I've eaten a plum that had been soaked in brandy for a year or so, it was delicious!
(The Empress it seems you CAN polish a turd!, Wed 29 Oct 2008, 17:32, closed)

You will drink it, not due to tightness...

but due to having no other alcohol in the house after coming in drunk. In my experience.
(fibonacci_cunt cunt, cunt, cuntcunt, cuntcuntcunt,..., Wed 29 Oct 2008, 17:40, closed)

I wonder if this would work
With a human foetus.
( Cawl, Wed 29 Oct 2008, 17:46, closed)

unfortunately not
well not yet anyway

but I haven't tried brandy yet, so we shall see
(Halfy By light alone, Wed 29 Oct 2008, 17:53, closed)

They attach bottles to the tree
Over the branch where the pear goes, and it grows inside the bottle, which is how it gets there. Normally anyway, but this way sounds plausible too

Sounds quite nice, and at 50p too - bargain!
( LemonEntryMyDearWatson This time, Moriarty, the hand is on the other foot, Wed 29 Oct 2008, 17:47, closed)

Just what I thought too.
Yes, I was about to say that. Sounds quite nice. And that stuff about growing the pear in the bottle. And that it was cheap. All that. I was about to say that.
(Lump, Wed 29 Oct 2008, 17:53, closed)

But
you know that you will drink it.

There will be a night when there's nothing else in the house and you'll crack it open and thank the Lord for it.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Wed 29 Oct 2008, 18:04, closed)

It will be one night when you've got a couple of mates round and you're all wankered.

( idonthaveafunnynickname Drink-Aware? Sure. I'm aware I want another drink., Wed 29 Oct 2008, 18:28, closed)

sounds like
poire william - a french spirit - it's not bad, although I've had a Hungarian version which brought tears to my eyes...
(sugar_tits, Wed 29 Oct 2008, 18:38, closed)

Yup, the tying the bottle to the tree storry rings a bell!
So y'all reckon we should risk it, then?
(Juan Quar is clinging to her front teeth on, Wed 29 Oct 2008, 18:45, closed)

drink it!
what's the worst that could happen?
( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Wed 29 Oct 2008, 19:13, closed)

It could
turn out to be Doctor Pepper?
(Bazongaloid, Wed 29 Oct 2008, 19:52, closed)

doctor pepper is nyom!

( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Wed 29 Oct 2008, 20:10, closed)

Do it
Try it on a clean palette so you can appreciate it's flavour though. Unless it's foul and horrible, in which case destroy your palette with wine\beer\spirits (delete as appropriate) before finishing it.
( LemonEntryMyDearWatson This time, Moriarty, the hand is on the other foot, Wed 29 Oct 2008, 19:47, closed)

Old drinking hints
pout a little onto a saucer. Light it. and check for reaction...
If it doesn't burn then its probably ok to drink..
If it burns with a slow blue flame then it's probably very good (taken along with the Pear as other evidence)
If it explodes, then hang on to the bottle in case petrol prices rise again...
(Beer Elf Thought this was like a campfire, anyhow, on, Wed 29 Oct 2008, 19:36, closed)

OK
I'm convinced.
Smoke me a kipper.
(Juan Quar is clinging to her front teeth on, Wed 29 Oct 2008, 19:39, closed)

Burning with blue flame...
... and tasted.

Very nice, except that I seem to have a. lost the power of speech and b. acquired a string vest and a bandaged head.
(Juan Quar is clinging to her front teeth on, Wed 29 Oct 2008, 20:01, closed)

oh no!
I should have put "drink with caution" not glug down in pints!!
(Beer Elf Thought this was like a campfire, anyhow, on, Wed 29 Oct 2008, 22:47, closed)

Well
it's a bit too late to tell me that NOW!
(Juan Quar is clinging to her front teeth on, Thu 30 Oct 2008, 9:18, closed)

We used to have something like this...
...but our one was from Korea, called Adderliquor, and had a dead snake in it. It lasted for about six weeks before we tried drinking it, but it was so vile we couldn't even finish the bottle. It sat on the shelf, the reptile decomposing, for the next 3 years, until eventually we set fire to it.
(jabboy, Thu 30 Oct 2008, 1:43, closed)

Keep your eyes open...
... for one of those glass cutters that Ronco or the like were selling a few years ago.
You can pick them up for pennies at charity shops or boot sales.
When you've drunk the liquid, use the cutter to score around the base of the bottle, it should then come away cleanly and you get to eat the pear too without worrying about shards of glass being in it.
(paof2 Nude might not be rude, but rude could be nude..., Thu 30 Oct 2008, 10:21, closed)

What a good idea.
The pear is not small, it is normal-sized and I bet it'll taste great.

I was thinking of buying a very long sharp thin knife to jab in through the top and cut it up so I can eat it.
(Juan Quar is clinging to her front teeth on, Thu 30 Oct 2008, 12:16, closed)