Chemtrails
We have an Italian guy in our office who fits this bill perfectly. I shall call him M. I work in a sales office, so as you might expect, tempers often run high, and you don't blink an eye at the odd outburst of 'Fuck off you rancid whore' directed at some secretary who refuses to put you through to the right person. M takes this to a whole new level, however, a good salesman, no doubt, but the man is so tightly wound he's liable to explode at the slightest provocation, resulting in a few memorable bouts of physical violence with colleagues and/or inanimate objects (another story).

M also seems to believe every conspiracy under the sun, and whenever any hot news topic of the day is breached in the office, he will begin loudly proclaiming that it is all a ruse by the concerned government, from the war in Afghanistan, to my all time favourite: Chemtrails.

I don't know if anyone has heard of this "fact", but I have M's original email to the staff, I shall paste it herewith:

www.youtube.com/watch?v=IAP4zy1hWmA&feature=channel

For those who didnt realize it yet, we are being sprayed everyday by chemical and biological pathogens because of a clandestine worldwide military project. Reason why most of us have been sick and with chronic respiratory problems in the past year.
All videos have been recorded in Norwich. Just look up the sky sometimes.

Still windows open?

Cordiali Saluti / Best regards

M

Yes, he actually wanted to have all of the windows shut, all of the time (in summer) to avoid *air*. I can only suppose he holds his breath whilst outdoors.

I couldn't take this one lying down, and sent the following response from the wonderful www.skepdic.com:

"Consider, however, that any biological or chemical agents released at 25,000 feet or above would be absolutely impossible to control, making any measurement of effects on the ground nearly impossible. (Presumably, the perpetrators of this evil deed have immunized themselves against the effects of their poisons.) Such an exercise would be pointless, unless you just wanted to pollute the atmosphere. And where is the evidence of the illnesses being caused by these agents? Surely, these chemicals have been identified and the diseases have names? (Yes, according to Clifford E. Carnicom, who claims he's analyzed ground-level air samples and they contained a lot of bad stuff."

The worst part is he actually converted a friend of mine in the company, who spent the next day sitting at the window watching the slowly darkening sky, and is now convinced beyond all salvation of this clandestine plot. I despair.
*pop*
( SigmaX0 Dear Die Hard. You rock!, Thu 27 Aug 2009, 15:12, 6 replies)

Norwich! A Fine City
/Norfolk Boy :)
( The Great Architect is still waiting for his account to be deleted on, Thu 27 Aug 2009, 15:15, closed)

It's pronounced
Naaaaaaaarrfalk. I'm from London though :(
( SigmaX0 Dear Die Hard. You rock!, Thu 27 Aug 2009, 15:25, closed)

Looking at
the general population of Norwich, you'd probably think there was something being crop sprayed or in the water. Luckily I'm out in the sticks of Norfolk, where any weirdness is a product of good old fashioned inbreeding!
(Kendal, Thu 27 Aug 2009, 22:16, closed)

Translation
"Fuck off you rancid whore' directed at some secretary who refuses to put you through to the right person."

Translated as:

Directed at some poor secretary doing their job of filtering out the loathsome sub-human sales scum that constantly waste my fucking time with the stunningly patronising insinuation I'm a drooling halfwit, incapable of purchasing the product I require at an appropriate cost without their assistance.

The only outbursts in your office should be the sobs of your co-workers confronting the howling black emptiness of their pointless little lives.

You cunt.
(Go on , touch it, Fri 28 Aug 2009, 13:36, closed)

Clarification
Personally, I choose not to speak to people like that, but I can't account for everybody. Undoubtedly, a lot of people in my office are cunts. I'm quite pleasant actually.
( SigmaX0 Dear Die Hard. You rock!, Mon 31 Aug 2009, 8:42, closed)

Nothing personal
but all the personal characteristics required to be a good salesperson are the same characteristics required to be a really shitty human being. I can only assume that you are a really shitty salesman; and that is something you should be proud of.
(Seance Trumpet has got no beef with a man enjoying a croissant, Tue 1 Sep 2009, 23:47, closed)