
Got a great tip? Share it with us. You know, stuff like "Prevent sneezing by pressing you index finger firmly between your nose and your upper lip."
( , Wed 29 Nov 2006, 16:33)
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To give off that "I've come dressed as a car park" vibe.
( , Tue 9 Nov 2010, 11:01, 1 reply, 15 years ago)

When dancing naked around the fire in the woods/nudist beach; please be sure to only be really fit women, as the sight of 50yo hippies prancing about nekkid is unholy and wrong, in all the wrong ways.
( , Tue 9 Nov 2010, 9:19, 2 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

When dancing naked around the fire in the woods/nudist beach; please be aware that when the music stops, not everything else does..
( , Tue 9 Nov 2010, 2:52, 2 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

Are your neighbours playing god-awful music at TWO IN THE BLOODY MORNING..? Knock on their door at 4:00am and tell them how much you really enjoyed it.
( , Tue 9 Nov 2010, 2:24, 2 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

If someone smacks you in the face, chase after them, and thus recreate the car chase from "Bullit", but without the expensive cars.
This will work best if the perp's neighbour has a green VW Beetle.
( , Mon 8 Nov 2010, 15:13, 1 reply, 15 years ago)

By smacking a copper in the face then running away.
( , Mon 8 Nov 2010, 11:55, 1 reply, 15 years ago)

Lie on top of your penis for half an hour, and when you have a wank it will feel like you're rubbing someone else's.
( , Mon 8 Nov 2010, 9:51, Reply)

Rather than praying for world peace/healing/lottery win, why not piss into the wind as it's been scientifically proven to have exactly the same effect.
( , Mon 8 Nov 2010, 8:45, Reply)

of hot girls kissing, make sure you are aware of what your YouTube account is sharing with Facebook.
( , Mon 8 Nov 2010, 0:26, 1 reply, 15 years ago)

because only three nations haven't officially changed to the metric system: Liberia, Myanmar, and the United States.
( , Sun 7 Nov 2010, 18:26, 6 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

Are nature's way of saying "stop shaving and put the razor down."
( , Sun 7 Nov 2010, 2:02, Reply)

by strapping a board onto your cat's back.
( , Sat 6 Nov 2010, 16:40, 2 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

Or you won't feel the beany feast.
( , Fri 5 Nov 2010, 16:12, Reply)

Introduce a November 5th style observance by strapping an effigy of a terrorist to a table and tipping buckets of water over its face and then go outside and throw paper darts at the side of tall buildings.
( , Fri 5 Nov 2010, 15:55, Reply)

by changing your name by deed poll to "There's a Bomb in my Luggage"
( , Fri 5 Nov 2010, 15:51, Reply)

before quickly moving onto hilarious anecdotes and one-liners.
( , Fri 5 Nov 2010, 9:18, Reply)

into thinking you've got friends and family by pretending to talk on the phone, have photos of strangers on the wall and leaving the house for several hours at a time.
( , Thu 4 Nov 2010, 23:51, Reply)

by saying "I've just got a cat."
( , Thu 4 Nov 2010, 16:57, Reply)

Make yourselves useful and give me a blow job.
( , Thu 4 Nov 2010, 12:22, 1 reply, 15 years ago)

"Freshly cut open feet" feeling.
( , Wed 3 Nov 2010, 8:48, 3 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

( , Wed 3 Nov 2010, 4:03, 6 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

Dentists cost the earth and you need to register your unborn embryos with them to get a chance of NHS treatment. Get yourself a Dremel instead and save lots of money drilling your family's teeth at home.
( , Wed 3 Nov 2010, 0:23, 1 reply, 15 years ago)

That you have a big head by being hydrocephalus.
( , Tue 2 Nov 2010, 23:15, Reply)

He reckoned if a certain demographic is legally forbidden from doing something, that the best way to bring about social change was through peaceful protest, not violence. That way your opponents have nothing to pin on you.
So, as he opined, don't use violence as a protest method...
or you won't foil the ban, he thought.
( , Tue 2 Nov 2010, 21:05, 1 reply, 15 years ago)

By wearing a large hat.
( , Tue 2 Nov 2010, 16:23, Reply)

or attend a gig.
( , Tue 2 Nov 2010, 12:46, 4 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

You won't feel the Beeny feet.
( , Tue 2 Nov 2010, 11:22, 1 reply, 15 years ago)

Or you wont see your granny fit.
Getting waaay past tenuous now... ;-)
( , Mon 1 Nov 2010, 16:47, Reply)

Or you won't steal the Bono fleet.
( , Mon 1 Nov 2010, 16:21, Reply)

Send your children mixed messages by, for 364 days a year, warning them about going out on their own after dark and accepting sweets from strangers.
On a totally unrelated note, Malteses can absorb a surprisingly large amount of liquid pethidine, but don't inject too much or the weight will be wrong.
( , Mon 1 Nov 2010, 15:53, 1 reply, 15 years ago)
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