Trick people by lying to them.

( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Wed 25 May 2011, 14:08, 2 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

Been handed an item that has been found in the back of your taxi?
Like, I dunno... a bag of someone elses shopping?

Hand it in to the police you robbing bastard!
(superkitty is neither super nor a kitty, Wed 25 May 2011, 12:26, 1 reply, 14 years ago)

Found an item, like... I dunno. a bag of someone elses shopping, in a taxi?
Hand it in to the driver you robbing bastard!!
(superkitty is neither super nor a kitty, Wed 25 May 2011, 12:25, Reply)

Stubborn colleagues not "getting it" or doing as they're told?
Cunt them in the fuck with extreme prejudice and ultra-hate. They deserve it, and the world will be a better place.
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Wed 25 May 2011, 11:26, Reply)

lettings agents fed up with
inquiries from door to door sales firms? then simply put a clause in your contracts stating that the person renting has to deal with these mindless fuckwits
( fluffybunnykiller Is feasting on the clitoris of life, Wed 25 May 2011, 11:14, Reply)

Door to door salesmen
Can't be bothered to explain that you really don't want their extensions, windows, gas supply etc, and then have the patter anyway, tell them you rent it and all goes through the letting agency, gets them off the case every time.
(bluehamster, Wed 25 May 2011, 11:09, Reply)

the question was " Want to know what you would look like with a moustache?"
simple go down on your wife/boyfriend/primate lover and get them to take a picture of you looking over there hairy mound and post the picture on here so we can advise on whether the look suits you or not.
as a bonus a Brazilian wax would give you a Hitler tasch
and massive hairy 70's porn bush would give the Brian blessed look
then sit back and await the vote on your best facial hair look
( fluffybunnykiller Is feasting on the clitoris of life, Wed 25 May 2011, 10:31, 2 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

Want to know what you would look like with a moustache?
Try drawing one on the mirror with a marker pen, just above your top lip. Or above your eye if you're feeling creative
(Godwin's Lawyer is more evil than Hitler, Wed 25 May 2011, 0:53, Reply)

Matchboxes painted grey,
placed on a flattish piece of grass and arranged in a cod-geometric/astronomical alignment make an excellent mini-Stonehenge for Ladybirds.
(SonoraAeroClub "OH SWEET HELEN OF BALLS!", Wed 25 May 2011, 0:09, 1 reply, 14 years ago)

avoid being shot by the Americans
by really pissing them of first thus negating any friendly fire incidents
( fluffybunnykiller Is feasting on the clitoris of life, Tue 24 May 2011, 22:50, Reply)

mooncups make ideal
drinks containers for people you really hate
( fluffybunnykiller Is feasting on the clitoris of life, Tue 24 May 2011, 22:47, Reply)

tricck your neighbours in to thinking that the
good old days are still here by hiding the medication
( fluffybunnykiller Is feasting on the clitoris of life, Tue 24 May 2011, 22:11, Reply)

trick your freinds and family into thinking
that you buy expensive Mexican pepper cheese by emptying your face grater on to there food
( fluffybunnykiller Is feasting on the clitoris of life, Tue 24 May 2011, 22:09, Reply)

Trick friends and work colleagues
into thinking that you have really bad eczema, by lightly cheese-grating your face every morning.
(Monkey the Chicken Twitter: death_stairs, Tue 24 May 2011, 22:02, Reply)

If you're lucky enough to be paid millions to be a moron...
... don't be a fucking prick and try to stop people hearing about your cheating on your wife.
Actually, how about fucking off and killing yourself you self-inportant hypocritical fucktard?
Oh, and how about not paying fucktards like Mr Giggs, you stupid fucking cunts?
(Me, I'm not... in any way intoxicated, Tue 24 May 2011, 19:01, 7 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

Trick Your Neighbours
Into thinking that it's the "good old days" again by leaving your front door open whilst you 'nip to the shops'...
(SonoraAeroClub "OH SWEET HELEN OF BALLS!", Tue 24 May 2011, 15:55, 1 reply, 14 years ago)

Moons make ideal marbles for planets.

( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Tue 24 May 2011, 15:15, Reply)

diarrhoea ejected accurately into a mug
Makes ideal coffee for the butty van on the A650 Wakefield to Bradford road.
(robneymcplum spiced up his life on, Tue 24 May 2011, 15:12, 6 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

Turn ribbed condoms inside out
As to be honest, who gives a shit about her....?
(robneymcplum spiced up his life on, Tue 24 May 2011, 15:08, 2 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

Tying string around your erect penis
Makes it look like a very small joint of beef.
(robneymcplum spiced up his life on, Tue 24 May 2011, 15:06, 3 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

Eggs 'sunny side up'
make ideal eggs 'sunny side down' for those in the southern hemisphere.
(robneymcplum spiced up his life on, Tue 24 May 2011, 15:05, Reply)

Pretend you have a really big cock
By buying an expensive sportscar.
(robneymcplum spiced up his life on, Tue 24 May 2011, 15:03, Reply)

Popping candy
makes ideal cocaine for those who have left rehab
(robneymcplum spiced up his life on, Tue 24 May 2011, 14:59, 2 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

Marbles
Make ideal 'millions' for elephants.

You know, them sweets what came in that tube what then broke your teeth.....
(robneymcplum spiced up his life on, Tue 24 May 2011, 14:58, Reply)

Medicine balls make ideal marbles for elephants.

( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Tue 24 May 2011, 14:50, Reply)

Avoid being shot at by the Americans
By not joining the army in the first place
( sandettie light vessel automatic New Twitter - @bollocksreally, Tue 24 May 2011, 12:53, Reply)

Marbles
Make excellent medicine balls for medium-sized stag beetles.
(SonoraAeroClub "OH SWEET HELEN OF BALLS!", Tue 24 May 2011, 12:36, Reply)

Very dangerous drinking game
Get a group of friends together, fire up chat roulette, every time you get some bloke having a tug all shout "WANKER" at the top of your voice and then take a drink!
(Lip Up Fatty Fatty Reggae still loves BBQ food on, Mon 23 May 2011, 21:21, 4 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

Phone calls from PC Care 24/7 why not do this
thy called me just a moment ago and some poor indian call center script reader started his spiel
after his initial flurry of gibberish he started to ask me to press the ctrl key on the left of my keyboard
me is that my left or your left this ran around for a good minute
next came the request for the R key
me can you spell that for me please again a couple of mins to get round this part
next came the call for the windows key
me i am sorry i dont have a windows key
yes you have
me no i havnt my windows have arms not a key
next was what can you see on your screen ?
me not sure , its all in braille
again this carried on for a good couple of mins
finaly once you have done that can you run
me sorry i cant run i am in a wheel chair with legs like a babys cock
at this point i started to ask for the supervisor and then sudenly they hung up

dont know why
( fluffybunnykiller Is feasting on the clitoris of life, Mon 23 May 2011, 17:04, 1 reply, 14 years ago)

alternativly in the misdst of a frenetic and mortaly dangerous fire fight in afghanistan why
not broadcast a call to prayer and comically pull the rug out from there noses as they bend to pray , thus depriving them of the comfy rug and hurting there knees.#
thus rendering there blood thirsty rage to kill smitten by a sore knee
( fluffybunnykiller Is feasting on the clitoris of life, Mon 23 May 2011, 16:40, Reply)