Actual genuine tip that's not particularly funny but you might find useful:
Lidl gets a really bad press as a cheap n nasty food supermarket spoken of in a similar vein to Iceland or Netto, but 'cos it gets most it's food from European sources where food directives about quality and standards are much much stricter than here, it may well be cheap, but large quantities of it are equivalent to that over priced shite we get sold for massive mark ups in M&S 'cos it's described as 'organic', ie, it is not fucked about with in a factory process to make it go further.

Example: Bacon, cheap supermarket bacon in this country is complete and utter shite, read the label, how the fuck can bacon, supposedly actual pieces of a pig, be 85% meat!? WTF is the other 15%!? Lidl's basic bacon ingredients: Dry cured pork, salt.

In the frozen section you will also find the best American steaks available in this country for only £3 for 2, ingredients: hung beef steak.

Don't diss Lidl unless you have ever tried it, they may well give Iceland style prices and have products you need to speak a second language to comprehend what it is inside, but unlike said Iceland, said products actually contain food!

Hell, they even have mince that isn't transparent pink and doesn't melt when heated, and pizza that actually uses tomato paste, doesn't have the word 'flavour' after it's description of topping, and has actual cheese!

Who would have thunk it!?

If like me you shop on a tight budget, but can't live on over processed shite nor always get to the local market, give it a go.

Do not, however, ever work for them. Ever. And I'd avoid the fresh veg, the staff aren't payed enough to look after it properly so 'fresh' is often a bit euphemistic...
( ..wil, Wed 19 Dec 2007, 14:15, 10 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

good tip
I remember my grandma (lord rest her soul) used to buy chocolate cigar type things from Lidl for my brother and I.
Their stuff may look like it's "genuine off back of lorry sir, you buy you buy", but it ain't too bad!
(tarbin tarbis, tarbit, tarbamus, tarbimus, tarbant, Wed 19 Dec 2007, 16:22, Reply)

Also good for...
German sausages (Bratties especially) and other 'continental' stuff. Tinned fish was also mentioned by someone.

'Frinstance beer actually brewed in Krautland is free of chemicals unlike that urine of beelzebub Stella. Even if it had no marketing budget designed to make the hard of thinking believe that it's a premium product.

However, Septic beef will probably have been produced using hormones as growth accelerants. And quite frankly my tits are big enough already.
(osok Rebel without a clue, Wed 19 Dec 2007, 16:53, Reply)

Yup, REAL bratwurst, not 'Bratwurst (style) Hotdog Sausages', and they contain meat only from a pig, not MRM from chickens, cows, pigeons and sea turtles!
They also do a lasagne that actually passes as a lasagne, and contains actual beef mince and pasta, as opposed to the microwave cheese food supplement covered cardboard with white coloured guar gum sauce and MRM beef-a-like grease soaked cereal fragments common to most other cheapy supermarkets.

But my fave is all the bizarre (to us) continental treats, like obscure French cheeses and smoked meats, German beers & herring fillets in mad sauces, Belgian sweeties & cakes, and totally OTT pizzas like the Fruit Du Mer that has everything that ever crawled, swam or floated near salty water slapped on there!

Oh, and they do a very passable 8 year pure malt Whiskey for 8 quid, I mean, why would you say no!?
( ..wil, Wed 19 Dec 2007, 17:43, Reply)

Same goes for Aldi...
... which does a very good stollen, and has olive oil which, though a bit rough for dipping, is more than you'll ever need for cooking or vinigrette.
( Enzyme is powered by sunlight, Thu 20 Dec 2007, 10:49, Reply)

Right, I'm SOLD!

There's A Lidl about a mile away from my house yet I've never been...I always go to the shitermarkets for their over processed megawank.

Thank you for showing me the error of my ways...I will take a trip there tonight.
( Pooflake braces for an onslaught..., Thu 20 Dec 2007, 12:29, Reply)

Yep
Lidl rules :)
( waffle1 is lurking on, Sun 23 Dec 2007, 18:34, Reply)

*Stands up for Lidl*
Bloody brilliant. Their Jaffa Cakes knock McVities into a cocked hat. Pheasant and Duck at Christmas! Smoked Salmon for £1.69. Beautiful joint of roast beef, suitable for Christmas dinner at only £4. Cheers for Orangansaft and Applesaft!

My only complaint is that most of the time, it's the same thing week in, week out, and not the biggest selection. Sometimes it feels a little like living in East Germany ("mocha fix gold! Globus peas!"). I went to Aldi once and nearly fainted from the choice that was offered.
(Cryptoprocta has abandoned the username of Voodoo Mary, Wed 2 Jan 2008, 20:19, Reply)

I worked at Lidls
while at college and during summer breaks at uni. There are things there that you should definitely avoid - the 3p beans and the crisps spring back instantly to mind; the 'tomato sauce' they use in the beans is I believe actually tapped directly from car batteries.

As people have said here though, if you try things out you'll find some gems - the salmon and the cranberry juice used to fly off the shelves when I worked there. The chocolate too is all excellent, I have fond memories of the marble cake.

The 'specials' they have in the middle aisles (non-food items) are generally shyte.

As for the employees... well, I worked with some proper numptys but you have to physically work your ass off there. You get paid a fair bit more than minimum wage (I think I started on £6.50, whereas at Sainsburys you'd be on £5.50 or roundabouts), but you're expected to shove things through the till at at least 35 items per minute, and there's rarely more than 4 people on shift.

My favourite quote from a customer during my time there has to be "could you direct me to customer services?". I believe I lol'd.
(irv made you eat your parents in a chilli on, Thu 28 Feb 2008, 17:19, Reply)

lidl saved my arse
when i had my purse nicked, my mum lent me £20 to get some shopping. this would get me a basketful of stuff in asda and a sandwich from sainsbury's but, in lidl, i got over half a trolley of decent and tasty food. as someone else said, the fruit de mer pizza is excellent!
( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Tue 4 Mar 2008, 22:49, Reply)

Hey, not all Lidl special offer stuff is crap!
I bought a 21" TV from them. £50, and it was still going strong 2 years later, and was pentioned off to make way for a LCD screen.
Although it was marked as a 'Silvercrest', the menu screens were identicle to a Hitachi.
( OneSullenBrit *air sandwiches*, Thu 20 Mar 2008, 17:43, Reply)