Cyclists
Annoy cyclists by stabbing them in the eye with a fork.
( sandettie light vessel automatic New Twitter - @bollocksreally, Tue 25 Mar 2008, 1:27, 12 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

you really are just a sad stack of spam, aren't you?
please try and stab me so i can beat you half to death while defending myself, and then sue you for assault, you miserable twat.
( postbear has metal knees, Wed 26 Mar 2008, 21:34, Reply)

eh?
A little tetchy aren't you?

FYI, I am a cyclist, however I refer to those who give us a bad name. Those who have a bike merely to check out parked cars to see if there's anything worth nicking.
Those that ride through red-lights. Those that ride on the pavement an scare pedestrians.

Your vitriolic response certainly points to you not being that sort of cyclist. Maybe I should have been more specific, but it was late and I couldn't be arsed to go into details.

However, if you are that sort of cyclist though, then tough
( sandettie light vessel automatic New Twitter - @bollocksreally, Fri 28 Mar 2008, 20:25, Reply)

listen, simpleton.
you have more than twenty 'suggestions' posted here, all in a row. you clearly have no clue as to how and why these pages work, so bugger off back to your hovel.
( postbear has metal knees, Sun 30 Mar 2008, 8:29, Reply)

sigh
You take umbrage because of my post about cyclists and yet you imply that you're a member of a "murder association".
Did I make a threat about what I'd do to you if you tried to murder me? No.

This group is for people whose sense of humour is a little close to the bone. Yours obviously isn't. In fact have you looked for the screw on the back of your head labelled "sense of humour"? You might need to turn it up a bit.

20+ posts. Big deal. Be sure to tell everyone else to return to their hovel who have posted several times

I'll bet you a tenner to a turd they won't listen.
( sandettie light vessel automatic New Twitter - @bollocksreally, Mon 31 Mar 2008, 16:12, Reply)

Your tips
are much more entertaining than the current QOTW.

The quantity is not an issue for me, as long as they bring a chuckle. On second thought, even if they don't bring a chuckle, they are still better than the current QOTW.
(barrycounty, Tue 1 Apr 2008, 17:05, Reply)

cheers
I'm glad someone appreciates my effort. Plus, hand on my heart I never sat here copying them out of Viz either.
( sandettie light vessel automatic New Twitter - @bollocksreally, Wed 2 Apr 2008, 2:04, Reply)

just get murdered, you illiterate fuckball.

( postbear has metal knees, Fri 4 Apr 2008, 9:33, Reply)

quite a lot of bile there postbear
I like your illiterate comment, particularly as Maudlin seems to be more eloquent than most.

I'd rather read a series of 20 tips from one author that make me laugh than 20 from different people that don't, that have been stolen from Viz.

Why you not only felt the need to come over all aggressive in the first place, but to continue to do so is beyond me.

you fucking moron
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 8 Apr 2008, 14:31, Reply)

lol
I think I've cracked a rib laughing. I've not had this much fun since I stabbed a cyclist in the eye with a fork.
( sandettie light vessel automatic New Twitter - @bollocksreally, Wed 23 Apr 2008, 19:52, Reply)

anyway postbear
I can understand why you think I'm illiterate. The gibberish you're having trouble reading is actually words of more than one syllable.
I thought this group was for people with a sense of humour. How B3ta haven't removed your account is beyond me. Get yourself on usenet. You'll be more suited to alt.flame.people.of.superior.intellect
( sandettie light vessel automatic New Twitter - @bollocksreally, Wed 23 Apr 2008, 20:03, Reply)

Alternative
I find a short sharp stick equally effective and it has a nice crisp alliterative 'ping'
(schrodingers cat now you see me, or not, Mon 12 Oct 2009, 9:10, Reply)

Alliterative?

( sandettie light vessel automatic New Twitter - @bollocksreally, Fri 20 May 2011, 14:05, Reply)